- File Size: 9934 KB
- Print Length: 357 pages
- Publisher: Sourcebooks; 6 edition (February 2, 2016)
- Publication Date: February 2, 2016
- Sold by: Amazon.com Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B01A9BJK78
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Not Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #11,099 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting Kindle Edition
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From the Publisher
3 Tips for Tantrums
Stop talking – Children see parents' reasons and explanations as sure signs that the parent doesn’t know what he or she is doing. Parents need a plan that focuses on gentle but decisive actions—not words.
Check out – When a child whines or melts down after a denied request, the parent has 10 seconds to decide what to do. No talking, for example, no eye contact, increase physical distance as much as possible. Soon the kids will begin to realize that tantrums get them only one thing: Nothing.
Be Consistent – Can you apply the same strategies in public? Not only can you, you have to! Attempts at reasoning or distraction in a restaurant or grocery store will bring on a tantrum in no time at all.
"The most valuable advice I got from reading 1-2-3 Magic that you can start implementing at home immediately is to avoid too much talking and too much emotion...the 1-2-3- program is as much a control on parental anger as it is on children's behavior. " - Outnumbered 3 to 1
"The book has a lot of great, helpful information. Anyone who has children, no matter what age, can learn from this. " - Cassandra's Place
"1-2-3 Magic helped me quickly identify the areas that I was messing up with my kids, and showed me how I could change those bad habits and trade them in for solid tactics to use when my kids were not listening as they should be. The best part, is that it literally only took a couple days for my kids to completely jump on board with the program...This book is worth it's weight in gold and will change your family's life." - The Simple Moms
"If you are a parent of young kids I do recommend that you pick up this book for a read as it would help you understand more about how to cope with your children during their outbursts." - Dominique's Desk
"Lays out a simple program for parents to help manage, and keep from overreacting, to behavior that seems incessant and annoying, like a continual request for junk food right before dinner." - Tri-City Herald
"Since the sixth edition of the self-proclaimed No. 1 child-discipline book in America came out last year, Dr. Phelan's strategies have seen a resurgence in the parenting world. Maybe that's why you feel like everywhere you go, you keep overhearing other moms say to their misbehaving children, "That's one. That's two. That's three." And then you watch in disbelief as their kid actually stops!
" - PopSugar
"The book spells out how you can help your child deal with their emotions, encourage good behavior, and strengthen the parent-child relationship. He includes clear advice for many roadblocks you find in a day of parenting. " - Healthline --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Welcome to 1-2-3 Magic
Parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world, and it can also be one of life's most enjoyable experiences. Small children are engaging, affectionate, entertaining, curious, full of life, and fun to be around. For many adults, parenting provides profound and unique benefits unequaled by any other area of life.
Yet being a mom or a dad can also be unbelievably frustrating. Repeat the Twinkie scene more than a thousand times and you have guaranteed misery. In extreme but all-too-common situations, that misery can become the source of emotional and physical abuse. That's no way for anyone-child or adult-to live.
Children don't come with a How-To-Raise-Me training manual. That's why there is a program like 1-2-3 Magic. The 1-2-3 program is currently being used all over the world by millions of parents (including single and divorced), teachers, grandparents, day care centers, babysitters, summer camp counselors, hospital staff, and other child caretakers, all of whom are working toward the goal of raising happy, healthy children.
The 1-2-3 program is also being taught and recommended by thousands of mental health professionals and pediatricians. At parent-teacher conferences, teachers recommend 1-2-3 Magic to the parents of their students (and sometimes parents recommend 1-2-3 Magic for Teachers to the teachers!).
Why all the enthusiasm? As one parent put it, "1-2-3 Magic was easy to learn and it gave me results. I went back to enjoying my kids and being the kind of mother I knew I could be." More than twenty-five years after the launch of the program, we're hearing from parents today who say, "My kids were great kids and now they're nice adults. We enjoy being with them."
1-2-3 Magic helps children grow up to be self-disciplined adults who are competent, happy, and able to get along with others. In other words, it helps produce emotionally intelligent people-people who can manage their own feelings as well as understand and respond to the emotions of others.
The methods described in this book are easy to master and you can start the program right away. Depending on whether you use the book, the audio CD, or the two DVDs, the technique takes about three to four hours to learn. Anyone can use 1-2-3 Magic-all it takes is determination and commitment!
How to Get Started
When you finish learning the 1-2-3 Magic program it is a good idea to start practicing it immediately. Talk with your spouse or partner, if both of you are living at home, and then get going right away. If you are a single parent, take a deep breath and then explain the drill to your children. Do the same thing if you're a grandparent. If you don't start right away, you may never get around to it.
After learning 1-2-3 Magic, you will know exactly what to do, what not to do, what to say, and what not to say in just about every one of the common, everyday problem situations you run into with your kids. Because 1-2-3 Magic is based on only a few basic but critical principles, you will not only be able to remember what to do, you will be able to do it when you are anxious, agitated, or otherwise upset (which for many of us parents is every day!). You will also be able to be a kind but effective parent when you are busy, in a hurry, or otherwise preoccupied.
What to Expect When You Begin the 1-2-3 Program
When you start 1-2-3 Magic, your relationship with your children will change quickly. But there is good news and bad news. The good news is that initially about half of all kids will fall into the "immediate cooperator" category. You start the program and they cooperate right away-sometimes "just like magic." What do you do? Just relax and enjoy your good fortune!
The bad news is that the other half of the kids will fall into the "immediate tester" category. These children will get worse first. They will challenge you to see if you really mean business with your new parenting ideas. If you stick to your guns, however-no arguing, yelling, or hitting-you will get the vast majority of these little testers shaped up fairly well in about a week to ten days. Then what do you do? You start enjoying your children again.
Believe it or not, you may soon have a much more peaceful home and more enjoyable kids. You will go back to liking and respecting yourself as a parent-and it can all happen in the foreseeable future!
Before we get into the details of the 1-2-3 program and Parenting Job 1, controlling obnoxious behavior, we should identify some very important concepts that are the fundamental to understanding how 1-2-3 Magic works:
1.The most effective orientation to-or philosophy of-parenting (chapter 1).
2.The three basic parenting jobs (chapter 2).
3.The dangerous assumption parents, teachers, and other caretakers often make about young children (chapter 3).
4.The two biggest discipline mistakes made by adults (chapter 4).--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
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It was recommended by our counselor. We now see a new counselor too.
I get setting limits. I also get counting and not giving in. But I also have compassion. I also want my kids to feel they are being heard and that it's ok to be upset, it's just not ok to be mean or disrespectful when upset. And this book doesn't teach that. It teaches that when you act in a way that I dislike, I'll make you go away. No matter how upset you are. No matter what happened. No discussion. No help working through emotions or reason.
I was first introduced to this book by my child’s pediatrician. They recommended this book b/c there were some serious attitude that had me concerned about my child at 18 months old. He would throw some serious fits to the point that he would develop a petechia rash on his face; he’d hit, bite, and pinch. I have no idea where he learned these awful behaviors from and I’m not gonna lie ~ it terrified me. I didn’t want to raise that kind of child, nor did I want to have that ‘kid’ in daycare. I wasn’t into the idea of spanking him. I felt that would just escalate the violence that he was already lashing out with.
So, after reading the book and careful consideration, we tried this form of discipline.
I’m not going to say that this book is the end all to bad behavior, nor is it some magical solution with raising a willful, stubborn child. My kid is almost 2 ½ yrs old, he is still constantly pushing his limits, and testing everything, and everyone. I’ve probably read this book once but I have refreshed/skimmed thru it several times in the past year. With saying that, idk if I’m in love with this book or if I just like it. My son still lashes out occasionally, but on less of an occasion that he did before. I’m giving it some more time, b/c it seems to be working… via the long route. But, who ever said that raising kids would be easy and full of short cuts?
While I do believe that every parent will have a different child with a different personality, this method might not be for everyone. But for us, right now, this is the method that we have chosen to go with and it seems to be working.
I also have downloaded and keep a summary pdf that I’ve found online of this book on hand for reference for baby sitters as well as family that I leave my child with.
I’m not sure if I’m allowed to leave this link here but if you google csgreeley.org 1 2 3 magic summary a pdf will come up – it’s 8 pages long and I feel like it’s the best way to make sure everyone that watches my child is on the same page as me. If they have questions, I encourage them to ask and even read the book.
The text was plain, entertaining, and effective. The graphic stories were spaced perfectly and emphasized the text. I will be recommending this book and technique to any other MOM-STERS who reach out to me for help!
Top international reviews
Absolutely brilliant, me and my partner sat together the night we received it and could really relate to what was on the book. We sat and wrote down a plan, then straight away started to implement techniques that were in the book, not just with our child with ADHD but with our youngest son too and working together we got there. It isn’t a quick fix or a miracle book you must stay strong and stick to what you say,if you are implementing something new we did a lot of sitting down as a family and evaluating ourselves for this to work.
Our sons behaviour is a lot more settled, his behaviour as changed drastically to the point family comment on how mature he his getting and the bond we have as a family is must stronger.
I would recommend for any parent with young children. Every now and again I reopen this book and refresh.