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101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged Paperback – June 1, 2004
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The Perfect Remedy for Cold Feet!
More than half of all couples who become engaged this year will never make it to the altar. Why? Leading experts believe it's because couples fail to really get to know their potential mate before getting engaged. Relationship expert and noted couples counselor Norm Wright steers potential brides and grooms through a series of soul-searching questions to discern if they've really met "the One."
Couples will be much more confident about whether or not to pursue marriage after completing these in-depth and personal questions. Norm also addresses the delicate subject of calling off the wedding if readers discover that a potential mate isn't actually meant to be a life partner.
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About the Author
H. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and other concerns. He helps couples bring vibrancy to their relationships through counseling, seminars, and more than 90 books, including Before You Say “I Do” and After You Say “I Do.” Norm also reveals insights for spiritual growth, great relationships, and success in devotionals that include Strong to the Core, Quiet Times for Every Parent, and Truly Devoted: What Dogs Teach Us About Life, Love, and Loyalty. www.hnormanwright.com
- Publisher : Harvest House Publishers; 37681st edition (June 1, 2004)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 144 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0736913947
- ISBN-13 : 978-0736913942
- Item Weight : 4.8 ounces
- Dimensions : 6.4 x 0.3 x 7.9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #14,903 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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Top reviews from the United States
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2. What is your greatest fear or concern about being married? What have you done to address these concerns?
19. What are your beliefs about prenuptial agreements?
45. These are all of the activities that I enjoy doing (list them). Of all these things, which ones wouldn't you enjoy doing with me?
61. What has been the greatest amount of debt you have experienced?
96. Who are the people in your life you've needed to forgive, and how did you accomplish this?
I found this book accidentally, and it was a complete game changer. Because of the way the questions are asked, it forces you to talk about issues that may not usually arise when dating (or to talk about them at a deeper level that you might have avoided). And not just issues - hopes, dreams, expectations. Things that may or may not come out in pre-marital counseling. I discovered some dreams my now-FI has about marriage that it would have never occurred to me to ask about. And we have been able to face up to some potentially serious issues in a safe, hypothetical environment - which has allowed us to prepare for handling those issues when the stakes are higher. We are just beginning pre-marital counseling now, and, thanks to this book, we already feel like we have a really solid understanding of our strengths and challenges as a couple.
As another reviewer said, the intro wasn't that helpful for us. We skipped it and went straight for the questions.
Overall, this book can be a great tool if both people are on board. Because some of the questions get pretty deep - questions about control, family boundaries, reasons why someone would or wouldn't (yikes!) want to spend the rest of their life with you - the key to using this book effectively is having both people completely on board. If one person is more committed than the other or isn't really interested in answering the questions fully, I doubt you'll get much out of it.
The biggest benefit for us was using this book to establish a pattern of open, honest communication - even when it comes to uncomfortable topics. For that reason alone, I would recommend this book.
This is why it's so important to inconspicuously test a potential life partner to observe how they respond. But how do you test someone?
This book is a great guide which not only lays out the question to ask, but also explains a little about the question's justification and application. What's amazing is even if you ask one of the simpler "no brainer" questions, the response you'll get is often surprising and telling. Heck, even if he/she will refuse to answer the question, that's extremely telling in on itself.
In my opinion: If you have to question whether you should marry a person, you probably shouldn't. However, worthwhile relationships are complicated, and any tool you can use to untangle the web is useful. If you're marrying someone, you want to be sure.
Top reviews from other countries
Buy a copy and have it ready for when the moment is coming, go trough each question.
I’m super happy that I found this book.
Thank you Mr. H. Norman Wright for this book.
I would definitely recommend it, gets you thinking and in my case helped me make the decision to get engaged to a wonderful woman!