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Brett Douglas

American Drug Addict: a memoir Audio CD – MP3 Audio, March 27, 2018

by Brett Douglas (Author), Ryan Turner (Narrator)

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My name is Brett. I'm a college-educated man who was once a husband of twenty-six years with two children, three businesses, and a large home with an actual white picket fence. I'm also a drug addict. And I have a tale to tell. My story has everything: sex, death, pain, atheism, God, jail, marriage, divorce, heresy, homosexuality, physics, traffic fatalities, computer science, video games, cinnamon toothpicks, Barry Manilow, Nine Inch Nails, pornography, breasts, used tampons, strippers, venereal disease, abortion, prostitutes, AIDS, racism, suicide, infidelity, public nudity, anti-Semitism, marijuana, alcohol, pawn shops, drug dealers, needles, acid, ecstasy, crack, heroin, pain pills, withdrawal, interventions, rehabs, product tampering, road rage, vandalism, elderly abuse, grave desecration, arson, identity theft, burglary, armed robbery, and murder. But more importantly, it's about the despair of addiction and the absolute certainty that it can be overcome. Recovery is not simply abstinence, but a process of growing up. I spent my entire life searching for the key to long-term sobriety. I would like to share with you what I have learned.

Language

English
Publisher

Tantor Audio
Publication date

March 27, 2018
Dimensions

5.3 x 0.6 x 7.4 inches
ISBN-10

1977356486
ISBN-13

978-1977356482
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Brett Douglas is a recovering addict who tries to carry the message of hope. He holds a BSBA in accounting and a BS in computer science, with a minor in mathematics.

Ryan Turner is a New York-based actor, composer, and producer. He earned his MFA in acting from NYU Tisch, and is a founding member of A-Frame, where he devises and scores the Brooklyn collective's immersive performances. Ryan has also recorded and produced over thirty albums, ranging in styles from metal to jazz to polka.

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Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Tantor Audio; Unabridged edition (March 27, 2018)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1977356486
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1977356482
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.54 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.3 x 0.6 x 7.4 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #5,695,047 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3,114 in Drug Dependency & Recovery (Books)
- #8,327 in Substance Abuse Recovery
- #67,447 in Books on CD

Customer Reviews:
723 ratings

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Brett Douglas

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First, the meaningless crap...

I hold a BSBA in Accounting and a BS in Computer Science with a minor in Mathematics. I am a computer and network technician who hates all things Apple, although I will work on them if the price is right.

And now, the important stuff...

I'm a recovering addict who tries to carry the message of hope. Recovery is not abstinence. Rather, it's a process of growing up. And if I can find happiness without drugs, anybody can.

Oh, and I like to write too.

Customer reviews

5 star		64%
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3 star		8%
2 star		4%
1 star		3%

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Trevor David Hooper

Reading a book from one addict to another ;)

Reviewed in the United States on October 23, 2020

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Personally, i love this book. I have read some reviews that werent so favorable. I totally disagree. If you have personally went thru full blown addiction you prolly wont understand this book and wherenrhe author is coming from. Trust me when i say "truth is stranger than fiction" i just started the book and i am already blown away. When you in full addiction and the chaos that will always come with it.. You wont understand. I am currently 3 years clean myself, knowing that someone besides myself lived thru this insanity. I never knew how to process what was happening to my mind.. My life.. And my sanity. I was always told that i should write a book. But... I was extremely deep in the criminal life... Telling my story will NEVER be am option. Things that i will never tell a soul. Buying this book i was torn... #1 would reading it trigger me #2 would this book help me understand that i was not the only one living in purgatory... So please other readers... Instead of leaving negative comments.... If you haven't lived " that life" you won't get it. ..

15 people found this helpful

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EvenSteven

“I Am the Lie that You Believe”

Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2019

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Seared into the pages of American Drug Addict is an ugly, in-your-face confessional for our times, from a broken man at the end of his rope. While in jail, Brett Douglas procured some prison paper, picked up a golf pencil, and began to write. With brutal, unflinching candor befitting his circumstance, he lay bare his tattered soul. The same soul he thought he’d sold long ago.
And so begins a 385-page, fearless moral self-inventory, which some may recognize as the fourth of AA’s twelve steps. Well-written, raw and visceral, Douglas’s memoir serves as a gripping reminder of addiction’s insidious allure and how precious—and precarious—is our humanity, warts and all.
As life begins for the author, we feel the love both from and for his grandparents, ‘Meemaw’ and ‘Pawpaw,’ who played leading roles in his childhood. It’s right there, in full view of his family’s dysfunction that defiles the soil where addiction’s dirty seeds take root. Brett’s a nice kid most of the time. A bit rowdy, he’s a part-time punk and occasional a-hole. But the die is not cast. It could go either way.
Weighing his options at the cusp of independence, a teenage Brett sees the world through a lens blurred by innocence and marred during childhood. He’s successful enough to afford drugs and indulge his desires, but too cocksure to indulge his ignorance. Lacking the maturity to perceive the potential he squanders daily, his long, downward spiral begins as youthful adventure. Experimentation gives way to escape, and we see the snare silently sprung long before a naïve Brett is aware of the trap he set for himself. Exhilarated by the rush and the risk, drug use infects his identity:
I love the sneakiness required to pull off an awesome high without my exploits being discovered. I love fooling people, making them believe I’m something I’m not. The more audacious the deception, the more I get a thrill from it. I love the tension which comes from being intoxicated in situations that require sober thoughts and actions. I love toying with the risk of bringing the wrath of my loved ones down on me. I love having something that’s mine, something I don’t have to share, something about myself only I know. Drugs are like an illegal exotic pet. I must nurture it but, at the same time, keep it hidden.
As this passage portends, the memoir’s mid-section reads like ‘A Day in the Life’ of a junkie pretending to live a normal existence—whatever that means, because Brett obviously doesn’t know. Successful to a fault, he makes enough money for his family’s pawn shop that they don’t notice how much he skims to feed the monkey on his back.
Through his distorted lens on life, now fogged by drugs, Brett no longer recognizes right from wrong; only high from sober. In his need-driven cravings, we bear witness to the evil of addiction. It feasts upon the fabric of free will. Resistance is futile. Drugs undermine his relationships by preying on his personality. We’re forced to watch as Brett deftly betrays those who trust him most.
From this corrupted moral core emerges a charismatic villain. Disguised as a dad, a husband, a son, and a grandson, Brett is blind to whom he has become. His occasional glimpses of reality are easily masked with an excuse, a lie, or the next fix.
The last section, complete with crimes and near-death experiences, is also a pilgrimage from perdition. But no Promised Land awaits. As he staggers toward, stumbles upon and trips over discarded wisdom again and again, Brett discovers that along the return path to normality, he must confront the beast. He gets clean and starts to make an honest living.
Alas, when hubris feels like confidence, sobriety feels like self-control. Try as he might, Brett can’t cheat the cheater; can’t play the fool while being one. So, it’s no spoiler to declare this victory a pyrrhic one. The road to abstinence is paved with good intentions.
Lulled into complacency and dabbling in drugs once again, he begins to slide, then freefalls into the darkest depths of his disease. Slamming rock-bottom with full force, he clings to what’s left of his life from a crumbling ledge overhanging the Abyss. He can hold on no longer.
True addiction involves physiological dependence. Your subconscious is recruited to conceal and perpetuate this loss of control. The body compels, your being complies, and denial cloaks the deception. The mind obscures the brain’s obsession through a psychological sleight-of-hand that blinds you to your true motives.
Peer into the heart of this darkness, and what’s revealed is a lie—the same lie that every addict believes: I don’t have a problem. And even if I do, I can handle it. But like a compulsive gambler, the lie can only be perpetuated for so long; and addiction’s time-bomb never stops ticking.
To overcome addiction, it must not be opposed. It must be outgrown. But growing up is something Brett has yet to comprehend. Honesty and humility continue to elude him. Before his ego-crushing odyssey is over, Brett ultimately learns he cannot bootstrap his own salvation. For that, he will require chest compressions.
* * *
“The best thing about life is knowing you put it together.” This is a lyric from the author’s beloved Nine Inch Nails (as is the title of this review). For an addict, the prize is to gain control over yourself, perhaps for the first time. Achieving this requires acknowledging that the demon within is larger than you. But it is not larger than Life, and therein lies hope.
For the addict seeking a way out, this book is a refrain of redemption. For a loved one of a wayward soul, or anyone concerned that their own life has veered off-course, Brett Douglas’s account illuminates the rayless recesses of the addict’s netherworld. For all who dare to read it, his story serves as a cautionary tale that, ‘you’re only human,’ is not just a banal cliché. It’s a warning.
If this memoir has a moral, it is that the only true high in life is derived from the purpose with which we choose to live it, and the love we share along the way. To discover our purpose is to recover the meaning addiction has stolen. It begins ‘one step at a time’ by surrendering to our flawed humanity. With integrity and humility as footlights guiding us toward grace, we can finally embrace the compassion—and the courage—to love ourselves.
________
P.S. I spoke with Brett Douglas in 2020. He lives with his family, remains clean and sober, and is nearing completion of his second book, a novel he plans to publish next year.

19 people found this helpful

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Jocie

Loved this

Reviewed in the United States on September 4, 2017

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This book is one of the best of its kind. I read a review where someone was confused as to how the author could have a sense of humor when talking about the wreckage of his past. Not only did I love his sense of humor, but I totally get his attitude about it. The horror of his active addiction is part of the journey that has him where he is today. There is a reason he is here today, and I am grateful to hear his story. I can relate to all of his feelings all too well, and it gives me so much gratitude to have the gift of Sobriety.

35 people found this helpful

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christina

Captivating

Reviewed in the United States on May 2, 2018

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I found this book while searching for material trying to understand addicts. I work at our County 911 center where we get inundated with calls for overdoses daily. This helped me travel with and understand the addict mind a little better. My favorite line was "...addiction is progressive.... recovery is progressive" so very true. I recognize addresses of those who have lost their battle, but I also recognize names of those who are in recovery. For that reason, I choose to read this type of book. It kept my attention, it was funny at times, so very sad at times, and truly a good read. Highly recommended.

21 people found this helpful

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consumer356864

Strange Book...

Reviewed in the United States on August 23, 2017

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The book kept my interest, although it seemed unusual to read a humorous book about addiction and recovery. In my opinion, Douglas romanticized his drug use, and practically bragged about it, throughout the entire book, as if those were the "old glory days". Yet, those addiction filled days are not at all that far in the past and only ended due to his incarceration, which he referred to as a "vacation". The book was written to kill time during a prison sentence, and the ending concludes upon his release. He spouted off a lot of addiction and recovery jargon, but nothing leads me to believe he's actually in recovery or truly comprehends what it even means to be in recovery. What makes this time any different? What it seems like to me is that he needed a paycheck after his release, so he wrote a book. I also found him to be a racist with a huge ego.

79 people found this helpful

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Melissa

Powerfully true.

Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2019

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Awesome read. My husband and I are both recovering addicts. We met while in the darkness....lost everything, more than once, spent time apart in separate rehabs, more than once, asked family to provide for our children, more than once....but only to discover drugs/alcohol meant nothing compared to what our love was for one another and our children. We are the couple/parents we have always wanted to be, even if we are the minority of addicts who use together ending up together.

Thank you for sharing your story. We have almost 5 years sober and more than anything I could have ever imagined existed.

Just for today.

God bless 💖

9 people found this helpful

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Mr. S. Pugsley

Confused

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 26, 2019

Verified Purchase

I don't know if I've ever gotten so little into a book before I've realised what drivel, nonsense and a waste of time it was. Chapter 1 told me about the author's grandparents, which I wasn't interested in. Chapter 2 told me about someone called "Bea", which I also wasn't interested in, so that got skipped as well. As did the next 3 or 4 chapters until the contents page told me I had found a chapter on "speed". At last. No, talking about the evolution of computers. I paid £2.35 for this book, I'm thinking of asking for my money back.

One person found this helpful

Miss J. L. Vousden

Awesome

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 8, 2018

Verified Purchase

Read this book in two days. I was hooked and I cannot believe this guy is still alive to tell his story. Amazing read and a massive insight into a life of a drug addict, also very well written in a sense this book had me gripped with the stories that were told and the way in which they were explained.

One person found this helpful

HARRYAVIDA

Compelling and persuasive

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 9, 2018

Verified Purchase

Something about this guy’s humour and candour make this a cut above most recovery memoirs.

I really recommend reading this white knuckle ride through hell and back

Amazon Customer

Brett Douglas has a way of writing like he is speaking only to you. Amazing writer.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 3, 2018

Verified Purchase

From a fellow addict, I found hope in this tale where it looked like he would be one of the unlucky ones.
Loved his style of writing.

Tiff De Jong

Great book for anyone who knows the struggle

Reviewed in Canada on February 19, 2022

Verified Purchase

This book is really well written. Although it's format is a bit different than your usual memoir, it works well. For anyone who has been gripped with addiction, this book will hit home. At many points I was laughing out loud and by the end I was crying as to how relatable the whole book is. Thanks for putting this out into the world Brett. Know matter how many times one fails, there is always hope at the end of the tunnel...

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American Drug Addict: a memoir Audio CD – MP3 Audio, March 27, 2018

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