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Attachment principles teach us that most people are only as needy as their unmet needs. When their emotional needs are met, and the earlier the better, they usually turn their attention outward. This is sometimes referred to in attachment literature as the "dependency paradox": The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become.
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This is an important lesson for someone with an anxious attachment style: If you just wait a little longer before reacting and jumping to conclusions, you will have an uncanny ability to decipher the world around you and use it to your advantage. But shoot from the hip, and you're all over the place making misjudgments and hurting yourself.
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If we had to describe the basic premise of adult attachment in a single sentence, it would be: If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, first find the right person to depend on and travel down it with them.
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Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love Paperback – January 5, 2012

4.7 out of 5 stars 9,385 ratings

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From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.”
The New York Times

"Amir Levine and Rachel Heller have written a very smart book: It is clear, easy to read and insightful. It's a valuable tool whether you are just entering a relationship with a new partner or-as in my case--even after you've been married 21 years, and had thought you knew everything about your spouse."
--Scientific American

"Anyone who has been plagued by that age-old question—'What is his deal?"—could benefit from a crash course in attachment theory."
--Elle

"The authors have distilled years of attachment theory research on the nature of human relationships into a practical, highly readable guide."
--John B. Herman, M.D., Associate Chief of Psychiatry and Distinguished Scholar of Medical Psychiatry, Massachusetts General Hospital and Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

"Based on twenty-five years of research, laced with vivid and instructive examples, and enriched with interesting and well-designed exercises, the book provides deep insights and invaluable skills that will benefit every reader."
--Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology,  University of California, Davis and Past President, International Association for Relationship Research

"Chock-full of tips, questionnaires, and case studies, this is a solidly researched and intriguing approach to the perennial trials of looking for love in all the right places and improving existing relationships."
--Publishers Weekly

"A practical, enjoyable guide to forming rewarding romantic relationships."
--Kirkus Reviews

"This book is both fascinating and fun. Attached will help every reader understand whom they are attracted to as partners, why, and what they can do to reach fulfillment in love. I enjoyed every moment."
--Janet Klosko, PhD., co-author of the bestselling Reinventing Your Life

"A groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be in a relationship."
--John Gray, PhD., bestselling author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are  from Venus

About the Author

Amir Levine, M.D. is an adult, child, and adolescent psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He graduated from the residency program at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University and for the past few years Amir has been conducting neuroscience research at Columbia under the mentorship of Nobel Prize Laureate Eric Kandel. Amir also has a passion for working with patients and it is in this context, while working with mothers and children in a therapeutic nursery, that he first discovered the power of attachment theory. His clinical work together with his deep understanding of the brain from a neuroscientist’s perspective contribute to his appreciation of attachment theory and its remarkable effectiveness in helping to heal patients. Amir lives in New York City.

Rachel Heller, M.A. studied at Columbia University with some of the most prominent scholars in the field of social psychology. She now works with families and couples as a psychologist in private practice. Rachel lives in Israel.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ TarcherPerigee; Reprint edition (January 5, 2012)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1585429139
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1585429134
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.94 x 0.84 x 8.94 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 out of 5 stars 9,385 ratings

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Amir Levine, M.D., is an adult, child, and adolescent psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He graduated from the residency program at the New York Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University, where he is currently a Principal Investigator on a research project sponsored by the National Institutes of Health. Dr. Levine has a private practice in New York City, where he lives with his family.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
9,385 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

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Sieran Lane
5.0 out of 5 stars Much more insightful than what I learned in my psychology courses
Reviewed in Canada on October 1, 2018
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Mr Jay R
1.0 out of 5 stars Expected more explanation of how people come to have there ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 9, 2017
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Lisa Wakeham
5.0 out of 5 stars ... I am going through a divorce and it was recommended to me by my therapist
Reviewed in Canada on March 7, 2018
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24 people found this helpful
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ACG
5.0 out of 5 stars Succinct
Reviewed in Canada on November 13, 2019
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JCM
5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I'd read this years ago
Reviewed in Canada on March 18, 2019
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