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William Sears

Martha Sears RN

The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby Paperback – August 7, 2001

by Martha Sears RN (Author), William Sears M.D. (Author)

446 ratings

Part of: Sears Parenting Library (10 books)

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America's foremost baby and childcare experts, William Sears M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N., explain the benefits -- for both you and your child -- of connecting with your baby early.

Would you and your baby both sleep better if you shared a bed? How old is too old for breastfeeding? What is a father's role in nurturing a newborn? How does early attachment foster a child's eventual independence?

Dr. Bill and Martha Sears -- the doctor-and-nurse, husband-and-wife team who coined the term "attachment parenting" -- answer these and many more questions in this practical, inspiring guide. Attachment parenting is a style of parenting that encourages a strong early attachment, and advocates parental responsiveness to babies' dependency needs.

The Attachment Parenting Book clearly explains the six "Baby B's" that form the basis of this popular parenting style: Bonding, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Bedding close to baby, Belief in the language value of baby's cry, and Beware of baby trainers. Here's all the information you need to achieve your most important goals as a new parent: to know your child, to help your child feel right, and to enjoy parenting.

Print length

224 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Little, Brown Spark
Publication date

August 7, 2001
Dimensions

7.38 x 0.63 x 9.25 inches
ISBN-10

0316778095
ISBN-13

978-0316778091
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Martha Sears, RN and William Sears, MD, are the pediatrics experts to whom American parents turn for advice and information on all aspects of pregnancy, birth, childcare, and family nutrition. Martha Sears is a registered nurse, certified childbirth educator, and breastfeeding consultant.

Dr. Sears was trained at Harvard Medical School's Children's Hospital and Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children, the largest children's hospital in the world. He has practiced pediatrics for nearly 50 years. Together, the Searses have authored more than 40 pediatrics books.

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Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Little, Brown Spark; 1st edition (August 7, 2001)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316778095
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316778091
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.7 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 7.38 x 0.63 x 9.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #126,362 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #319 in Fatherhood (Books)
- #519 in Baby & Toddler Parenting
- #630 in Motherhood (Books)

Customer Reviews:
446 ratings

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William Sears
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William Sears, M.D., received his pediatric training at Harvard Medical School's Children's Hospital and Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children. He has practiced as a pediatrician for more than thirty years. Martha Sears is a registered nurse, childbirth educator, and breastfeeding consultant. The Searses are the parents of eight children. Drs. Robert and James Sears are both board-certified pediatricians at the Sears Family Pediatric Practice in San Clemente, California. All four authors live in southern California. More information about the Searses can be found at www.SearsParenting.com and www.AskDrSears.com.
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Martha Sears RN
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Martha Sears is a registered nurse, former childbirth educator, La Leche League leader, and lactation consultant. With renowned pediatrician, William Sears, MD, Martha is the coauthor of more than 25 parenting books, drawing on her experience with their eight children. She contributes to the content of AskDrSears.com and is noted for her advice on how to handle the most common problems facing today’s mothers with their changing lifestyles.
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Clara Ruth

This book makes healthy attachment accessible

Reviewed in the United States on March 2, 2018

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I found this book to clearly and simply convey everything I would most want to transmit to new parents about what is most critical in enabling babies and toddlers to thrive for the long-term through optimal attachment to parents. I have studied the neuroscience of this, which is very impressive and convincing, but not particularly readable unless you are scientifically or psychologically oriented (if so, the work of Allan Shore, PhD is inspiring). Sears makes this invaluable model accessible for the day by day experience of a new, or new-to-attachment, parent, answering many questions that are likely to come up; and laying out practical details for implementing it. With his expertise as a pediatric physician and his hands-on experience, with his wife, of raising eight children, practicing attachment for many years, his advice feels grounded and trustworthy. Other reviewers have commented that it is repetitious but I would describe that as reinforcing and clarifying the most essential intentions and practices of this system. As a child therapist and parent, I cannot say enough about how important healthy attachment is for the deep well-being and development of a child. Sears' book is a great tool for bringing it to life in your own family.

26 people found this helpful

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Rachel Rainbolt

Give life to your intuitive wisdom

Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2020

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I read The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby by Dr. William and Martha Sears in grad school after giving birth to my first baby and it gave life to all of the intuitive wisdom that had been screaming deep within me against all of the loud, controlling mainstream parenting advice of disconnection. The primary tenants of the approach are the 7 B’s: birth bonding, breastfeeding, baby wearing, bedding close to baby, belief in the language value of your baby’s cry, beware of baby trainers, and balance. They are a set of practices rooted in a a natural, evolutionary approach that sets up both baby and mother to thrive. This book will soften you and shift you into a harmonious alignment with your baby, forming a secure connection that can last a lifetime.

“To your baby, you are the best mother.”

8 people found this helpful

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PN

Great advices for the soft hearted moms

Reviewed in the United States on March 18, 2014

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I practice attachment parenting b/c that it the way feel most natural to me. I use many of the advices from Dr. Sear for all of my 3 kids. I have all girls 5,7,10. I don't want to brag about my kids here as I think the results of any parenting method can't really be measure until much later in life. Whether they will grow up as well ground adults with healthy life styes, successful career, happy individual, & a great contributor to human life....but for now, I can tell you that I'm very proud of my children at this ages & we are a very happy loving family. I don't "spoil" my kids as contrary to many incorrect perception about parenting. We try to provide a loving but structure environment for our children.

Dr. Sear offer many great advice in this book & I used it in those days that my kids were babies age. We co-sleep & I nurse my kids. My baby was nurse until she almost 3. They are all very independent now & have their own rooms, which they took care really well. I almost NEVER let my babies cry & always pick them up to comfort them, my kids are great sleepers now, all we do at night is tuck them in with good night kisses, they wake up to use the rest room by themselves. Every once in a while, we allow them to sleep in our beds & that is a special treat.

Except travelling for work, my husband & I NEVER take a vacation without the kids. We rather travel with other family friends so we have the adults companies & the kids have friends their ages to. We enjoy our kids companies & they love ours.

If you don't use all the advice in this book, you can still benefit from reading it & maybe apply some

My mom use the "tough love" method on me . I turn out fine but I always secretly wish she was more gentle with me.

So there is no right or wrong, just practice what you believe in your loving heart & hopefully we will raise the next generation of great human, loving & giving :-)

63 people found this helpful

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Dawnweaver

Bad advice! Do not get this book or you will regret it in 5 years when your child is not behaving.

Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2022

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This book gives many bad advice. Here is a small sample:
1. Give your child unlimited attention.
Too much attention is not good for any child. Especially if you plan to have a second child. Your first will not be able to self sooth and understand why now he does not get all of your attention and will dislike their sibling.
2. Cosleep:
Don’t cosleep if you want a healthy marriage. Cosleeping also makes your child less able to self soothe. It may sound terrible to hear your baby cry, but they will eventually learn to self soothe which is a much healthier long term goal.
3. Baby wearing.
Don’t wear your baby too much unless you want to but don’t feel you have too. They will get use to it and your back will pay the price in the future.
4. Breastfeeding
Yes, there are benefits, but don’t stress so much if you are unable to breastfeed. Your child on formula will be healthier with a stress free mom.
I read this book back in 2012 and regret following the advice given. My oldest (age 9) can not self regulate and still insists on sleeping with me.

3 people found this helpful

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kl

Not a good guide

Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2018

Verified Purchase

I was expecting this book to be more of a helpful guidebook full of advice and strategies for parents who already want to do attachment parenting. E.g. What do I do if my baby starts screaming in his carseat on the highway? What if my back hurts too much to continue babywearing? Etc. Not helpful. It's more of a defense of attachment parenting. Maybe the Baby Book from the Sear's library would be more helpful in this regard? Anyway, huge disappointment.

13 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer

Published in 2001 - references studies from the 50s, 70s, and 80s.

Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2020

Verified Purchase

I wouldn't have bought this book if I knew it was published in 2001. It advocates baby slings and sleeping in the same bed as your baby, both of which are very dangerous. It doesn't have any good tips and it references studies from the 50s, 70s, 80s, and 90s. I bought it cause of all the great reviews; I couldn't believe it when I started reading. I'm going back to my rule of only reading books from the last 5 years. Recommendations : Nurture & Newborn 101 - 2 fantastic books.

4 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Mrs. M. Lungu

Absolutely wonderful in EVERY respect!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 14, 2013

Verified Purchase

I find that while reading this book, there's so many mums I want to read bits out to - the psychology of children is flawless in my opinion (and I have a psychology degree) so it really helps to understand where our little people are coming from. Sears comes across as completely non-judgmental which really helps if you feel you've made mistakes before when looking after children, be it your own, your siblings when you were younger or other people's children. When my firstborn came along 2 years ago, I was recommended the baby whisperer books, and although I tried to stick with it for a whole 3 months, it felt unnatural to me to leave my baby sobbing while bent over him patting him on the back for ages. I was confused and upset when my baby didn't conform to what the baby whisperer said. The difference with this book is that I always feel calmer about a situation once I've read Sears thoughts on something that I'm having trouble with (fussiness or clinginess to pick one example). There's also a great section on working as a parent while maintaining your attachment - which they know a lot about since there's not much maternity leave or care provided to mothers in the States much past 6 weeks.

The sections are based around the 7 Baby Bs:
1) Birth Bonding: how the beginnings affect early attachment.
2) Breastfeeding: how it helps in getting to know your baby, what they call 'Baby Reading'.
3) Baby Wearing: research clearly shows how children who are carried fuss less and they are so content that they spend a lot of time in quiet alertness, learning a lot about their environment. They just seem so much calmer too.
4) Bed Sharing: the benefits of bed sharing for mothers and babies. The fact is that most babies sleep best when they are close to their parents. Personally, we have co-slept with our baby since I fell asleep breastfeeding one night and realised the next morning how well we had all slept! Sears is again non-judgmental about whichever way you decide to sleep.
5) Belief in baby's cries: "a baby's cry is a baby's language" ie they communicate through crying - they have different cries for different emotions, which you pick up the more time you spend with your baby. Babies don't cry to manipulate, they cry to alert you to their needs. "The more sensitively you respond, the more baby learns to trust his parents and his ability to communicate".
6) Balance and Boundaries: about balancing your own needs with those of your baby and the rest of your family. Because it's extremely important to not "neglect your own needs and those of your marriage"
7) Beware of baby trainers: "This restrained style of baby care, which we dub baby training is based upon the misguided assumptions that babies cry to manipulate, not to communicate, and that a baby's cry is an inconvenient habit that must be broken to help baby fit more conveniently into an adult environment...a distance can develop between baby and parent - just the opposite of what happens with attachment parenting"

The overall theme of the book is for you to learn to rely on your own instincts and decide for yourself how best to parent your own child.

When reading this book, I realised that I'd been parenting the exact same way without realising there was a name for what I did! To me, I was just doing what naturally came to me. Attachment parenting is a natural way to parent, and this book helps to explain it in detail in a helpful way, without coming across as patronising or judgmental. It makes me want to get all their other parenting books and also buy their books for other mummies I know!

46 people found this helpful

Gracie

Old-fashioned, outdated and repetitive

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 25, 2019

Verified Purchase

This book was extremely basic - you can get the same information watching a few YouTube videos about attachment parenting, or reading an article. It was extremely outdated, assuming that fathers spend little time with children. For most families that are ready for attachment parenting, this 1950s view of the family just doesn't fit. I found this book disappointing and not worth keeping as a reference. I regret buying it and wish I had bought another book on attachment parenting. It isn't well-written and manages to make an emotional subject that I'm deeply invested in boring (and I love reading!).

Buy another book.

2 people found this helpful

Dorota Pliszka

Get is before baby trainers get you

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 14, 2015

Verified Purchase

This book tells you what you already know deep down in your heart. Get this book before baby trainers get you. It was like music to me ear - everything I would've done following my intuition stands there, scientifically proved.
If I can add one word of criticism, it would be about baby carrying. The authors can't say enough good things about it but my daughter is a living proof that not every baby loves being in a baby carrier. When she was 1 - 2 months old she was screaming her head off regardless of being carried or laid down to bed. Now at the age of 5 months she does accept it but doesn't love it and she can stay calm only as long as I keep on moving. The story presented by the authors about sitting in a restaurant and enjoying a dinner with a baby in a sling sounds like a fairy tale to me.
However my experience only confirms the overall message from the book: every baby comes into this world with its own personality and our job is to adjust our world to this little person, not the other way around.

10 people found this helpful

Autum Owl

The book every parent should read.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 2, 2018

Verified Purchase

An excellent book that is basically a written form of true instinctual parenting. It will support you to meet your baby’s needs in a holistic way that will have them as Independant children. A great read.

One person found this helpful

Annie Schueler

This book is just wonderful. It gave us a clear idea how to ...

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 20, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book is just wonderful. It gave us a clear idea how to best tend to our child and simultaneously relieved a lot of fear and insecurity we felt before. It also helps your wallet by showing you all the things available in the market that an infant/toddler absolutely does not need.

One person found this helpful

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