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Sara Dobie Bauer

Bite Somebody Paperback – June 21, 2016

by Sara Dobie Bauer (Author)

79 ratings

Book 1 of 2: Bite Somebody

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“Do you want to be perfect?”

That’s what Danny asked Celia the night he turned her into a vampire. Three months have passed since, and immortality didn’t transform her into the glamorous, sexy vamp she was expecting, but left her awkward, lonely, and working at a Florida gas station. On top of that, she’s a giant screw-up of an immortal, because the only blood she consumes is from illegally obtained hospital blood bags.

What she needs to do—according to her moody vampire friend Imogene—is just … bite somebody. But Celia wants her first bite to be special, and she has yet to meet Mr. Right Bite. Then, Ian moves in next door. His scent creeps through her kitchen wall and makes her nose tingle, but insecure Celia can’t bring herself to meet the guy face-to-face.

When she finally gets a look at Ian’s cyclist physique, curly black hair, and sun-kissed skin, other parts of Celia tingle, as well. Could he be the first bite she’s been waiting for to complete her vampire transformation? His kisses certainly have a way of making her fangs throb.

Just when Celia starts to believe Ian may be the fairy tale ending she always wanted, her jerk of a creator returns to town, which spells nothing but trouble for everyone involved.

Print length

273 pages
Language

English
Publication date

June 21, 2016
Dimensions

6 x 0.62 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

0692661832
ISBN-13

978-0692661833
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Sara Dobie Bauer
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Featured in RT Book Reviews Magazine!
"BITE SOMEBODY is the Pretty in Pink of vampire stories; fun, self-consciously retro, and not afraid to be goofy. Sara Dobie Bauer knows how to keep a reader smiling."- Christopher Buehlman, author of Those Across the River
"BITE SOMEBODY is a zany, surreal take on vampires. If you're tired of violent, angst-ridden immortals but still want a vampire romance, check it out today." - The Romance Reviews
"Witty banter and hot sexy-times make BITE SOMEBODY sparkle in all the right ways." - Beth Cato, author of The Clockwork Dagger series
"It is gripping, it is funny, and OH MY GOD, it is sexy. Celia Merkin is a fabulous heroine, vulnerable and steely in equal measure, and Ian is a proper dreamboat. I just loved BITE SOMEBODY." - Lucy Holliday, author of A Night in with Audrey Hepburn

"Celia is perfectly imperfect and insecure; adorable human, Ian, sparkles more than any undead ever could; and Imogene is the kind of bad-influence friend we all need. Bursting with tasty giggles, devilish guffaws, and swoony sighs, BITE SOMEBODY is an absolute pleasure." - Jennifer Scott, author ofThe Accidental Book Club

"Sara Dobie Bauer takes us on a journey of self-discovery, friendship, and first love--with a dash of A-positive, surfer dude charm. BITE SOMEBODY is a witty, rum-soaked take on the modern vampire story that you'll want to sink your teeth into." - Tiffany Michelle Brown, author of Spin and Give it Back

About the Author

Sara Dobie Bauer is a writer, model, and mental healthadvocate with a creative writing degree from Ohio University. She spends most days at home in her pajamas as a book nerd and sex-pert forSheKnows.com. Her short story, "Don't Ball the Boss," was nominated forthe Pushcart Prize, inspired by her shameless crush on BenedictCumberbatch. She lives with her hottie husband and two precious pups inNortheast Ohio, although she would really like to live in a Tim Burtonfilm. She is the author of the paranormal rom-com Bite Somebody, amongother ridiculously entertaining things. Read more at SaraDobieBauer.comor find her on Twitter @SaraDobie.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ World Weaver Press (June 21, 2016)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 273 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0692661832
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0692661833
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.62 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #5,008,045 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #19,195 in Vampire Romances
- #44,226 in Romantic Fantasy (Books)
- #89,544 in Paranormal & Urban Fantasy (Books)

Customer Reviews:
79 ratings

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Sara Dobie Bauer

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Bestselling romance author.

Bisexual witch.

Timothee Chalamet freak.

Horror movie aficionado.

Feminist. Pro-choice. Anti-censorship.

Vampire mermaid in a past life.

Sara Dobie Bauer somehow survived her party-hard college years at Ohio University to earn a creative writing degree. She lives with her precious Pit Bull in Northeast Ohio, although she’d really like to live in a Tim Burton film.

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5

79 global ratings

5 star		75%
4 star		16%
3 star		4%
2 star		5%
1 star 0% (0%)		0%

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Top reviews from the United States

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Casie L

I can't tell you how much I loved this book! MUST read!!!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 20, 2017

Verified Purchase

My Thoughts - 5 out of 5 Unicorns - I loved it!!!
***I choose what I read and review based on what intrigues me!! I bought this book because I wanted to start the series from the beginning, but no one tells me what to think, feel, or write about any book!

The cover is cartoonish, but I really like it!

This is the first book in the series, and my first time reading Sara’s work! This book is for adults only due to the murder, mayhem, and steamy content.

Wow, I wasn’t expecting to love this book like I do! It was perfect with its “There’s Something About Mary” humor vampire style where everything that can go wrong does but making you laugh along the way. This is how Celia and Ian’s relationship is. I love all the 80s and 90s movie references too! There is definitely some mystery with the deaths, but I don’t want to give anything away. It was an awesome ending, but also left you an ending that makes you want to read the next book even more!

Sara does a fantastic job pulling you into Celia’s life and her story! I loved every page and couldn’t put it down!

I highly recommend this book to vampire fans who want a humorous story about an awkward new vampire! Off to read book 2!!! I can’t wait!

2 people found this helpful

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tc3von

Nerdy Vampires are my Favorite!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 17, 2017

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Hilarious! I loved this funny vampire romance. Nerdy protagonists are fun. Nerdy protagonists that aren't a perfect size 2 are my favorite!! Keepin' it real Celia!! I loved Ian, Imogene and Heidi. This book flowed. The story line was romantic with a few twists and turns and some bad guys thrown in, but most importantly, I laughed out loud!!! A LOT!!! If you want fun, vampire romance this is it. It puts me in mind of the Sookie Stackhouse series, not True Blood, but the books. I loved that series and I loved this. I can't wait to read about Imogene in Bite Somebody Else.

First sentence: Celia Merkin rode her powder blue beach cruiser down the humid length of Admiral Key, past darkened palm trees swinging in the nighttime breeze-and one hissing goose.

Last sentence: Ian always said he wanted kids.

Helpful

Jennifer M. Gilles

This book is the perfect summer read! No, scratch that, it would be fabulous at any time of year!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 4, 2016

Verified Purchase

I'm going to be totally honest here, I'm not usually into "vampire-themed" things. I read the first book of Twilight...it was okay. I watched a season and a half of True Blood and got bored with it. Sara Dobie Bauer's book BITE SOMEBODY though, is right up my alley! I loved everything about this book. From the Florida beach community of Admiral Key, the references to classic 80's films to the zany adventures of Celia, Ian and Imogene. Think the classic TV show Three's Company with a twist! Celia, her human beau Ian and her vampire bestie Imogene can't help but get themselves in over their heads when trouble comes "knocking at their door." There's even a crazy landlady! This book was hilarious, the characters were realistic (even if a few are immortal) and an overall pleasure to read. I found myself wanting more when I finished it. Great news! It seems that a sequel is in the works!

3 people found this helpful

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Amy

Hoping there will be a sequel!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 27, 2016

Verified Purchase

I had the pleasure of meeting Sara Dobie Bauer last year while working on a photo shoot with Paul. Not only is she beautiful, and slightly twisted, she is also an amazingly talented writer.
Her book #BiteSomebody was released this past week and I have to get the word out to all my vampire loving friends...... READ THIS BOOK!!!!!
Wickedly funny, sweet, and soo real! I received my copy in the mail Friday afternoon and I finished it last night. I do not doubt for one second that I would be Celia if turned, an immortal hot mess in need of an ego boost, lol. The best part is, it takes place in a fictional Florida town that was inspired by my beloved hometown beaches ♡♡♡♡♡ Sara, I have to admit that I read your book replacing the fictional town names with the real names.

In the words of Imogene, Sara.... You're totally full of awesome!!!!!

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Wendy S

Celia and I could be friends...for reals.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 18, 2016

Verified Purchase

Hilarious book. If Jennifer Crusie's chick lit and Christopher Moore's vampire books hooked up and had a baby, it would be this book...only after it was all grown up and making awkward and sometimes sexy life decisions. The romance in this managed to feel very "real" despite the paranormal aspects--like these could be your friends and it wouldn't seem fictional. I really adored the characters. It was quirky and fun and I'm excited that there might be a sequel in the works.

This book would appeal to readers who like NA and adult paranormal romance or fiction that feels like it could happen to that "one friend you had in high school" only with the addition of vampires. Readers of Molly Harper, Jennifer Crusie, Christopher Moore novels would like this. And maybe Marilyn Brant too. Something about this book just reminded me of her style. With vampires.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on August 29, 2016

Verified Purchase

Absolutely loved this book!

My first love is paranormal and this book had everything I loved, humor, some suspense and totally loveable characters.

Sara does a great job of focusing on the everyday life of a vampire and stepping away from the glistening in the sun (thank you for not including that!)

Even though Celia was turned into a vampire, she still has the same insecurities and struggles as many women her age would. She's lovable and funny and really comes into her own towards the end of the book.

Loved Imogene. She is the friend every insecure girl needs. And Ian, I mean fan me now he was so sweet and such a good boyfriend.

But! Total cliffhanger that sent me off looking for the 2nd book that isn't out yet! *cue tears*. I can't wait for the 2nd book!

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

Anna Kaling

Penis Wigs, Farting Couches and Floofy Hair

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on September 20, 2016

Verified Purchase

How can you give any less than 5/5 for a book with:
- a character named after a penis wig;
- farting couches;
- reviews of different blood types;
- ralphing tips for premature ejaculation;
- a hot surfer dude with floofy hair.

You just can't.

Celia is a newbie vampire and she needs to bite somebody. She knows exactly who she wants to bite: Ian, the cute surfer dude who lives next door. He smells of woodsy BO, which is a good thing. Celia sometimes stands at the wall separating their apartments and claws it rapturously while she sniffs him. This is a character I immediately got on board with.

Ian has floofy hair and he’s tall and slim and always says what he thinks. I like Ian.

Bite Somebody is hilarious, cute, light, and written with a wicked sense of humour that I love. Highly recommended!

Kelly Belcher

Read this book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on July 12, 2018

Verified Purchase

Loved this book from the very first page to the very last. It made me laugh out loud so many times, I love the teeth that go ‘boing’ I love the fact her neighbor has a ‘woodsy BO’ Celia is the insecure and imperfect vampire that falls in love with Ian, her human boyfriend, with her crazy purple haired best mate, Imogene, fun and mayhem is abound. If you are looking for a fun book that makes you laugh out loud, this is the book for you.

tortoiselover

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on September 1, 2017

Verified Purchase

Amusing read good holiday material

pam chambers

Bite somebody

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on July 24, 2017

Verified Purchase

Really good read enjoyed every bit detail was good and it wasn't easy too put down can't wait till the next one