Boundaries is the book that's helped more than four million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives.

Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above.

In the New York Times best seller, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.

Now updated and expanded for the digital age, this book continues to help millions of people around the world answer these tough questions:

Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
What are legitimate boundaries?
How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn't control me?
What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?
Aren’t boundaries selfish?

You don’t have to let your life spiral out of control. Discover how boundaries make life better today!

Plus, check out the Boundaries family collection of books dedicated to key areas of life - dating, marriage, raising kids, parenting teens, and leadership. Workbooks and Spanish editions are also available.

Listening Length

11 hours and 18 minutes
Author

John Townsend, see all
Narrator

Henry O. Arnold
Audible release date

February 13, 2018
Language

English
Publisher

Zondervan
ASIN

B072C64V1L
Version

Unabridged
Program Type

Audiobook
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Product details

Listening Length	11 hours and 18 minutes
Author	John Townsend, Henry Cloud
Narrator	Henry O. Arnold
Whispersync for Voice	Ready
Audible.com Release Date	February 13, 2018
Publisher	Zondervan
Program Type	Audiobook
Version	Unabridged
Language	English
ASIN	B072C64V1L
Best Sellers Rank	#212 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals) #1 in Christian Spiritual Growth (Books) #1 in Christian Spiritual Growth (Audible Books & Originals) #1 in Christian Dating & Relationships (Books)

Customer reviews

5 star		83%
4 star		10%
3 star		4%
2 star		1%
1 star		2%

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A L G

Very disappointed.

Reviewed in the United States on June 7, 2018

Verified Purchase

Getting through even one chapter of this book requires complete agreement with and acceptance of Christianity. It does not merely inform the work, it doesn't make sense without it. This book is so God preachy that unless you are extremely religious you are unlikely to find any of this compelling. Very disappointed.

1,508 people found this helpful

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Michael Z

Too much religious material

Reviewed in the United States on October 1, 2018

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This book is presented as a secular self help / self compassion book but it is full of religious material. Not a huge issue but wish it was more clear in the description, be aware before purchasing.

996 people found this helpful

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Candi2400

Too Religious

Reviewed in the United States on December 3, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book was too religious and quoted the Bible endlessly. Once Satan was brought it, I just couldn't read it anymore. Boundaries subject would be interesting, but this was like a Bible quote book. Not helpful and over the top with the religious angle.

650 people found this helpful

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Evan Le

Helps you set up boundaries with your friends, loved ones, and yourself to create freedom

Reviewed in the United States on December 18, 2017

Verified Purchase

[Note: although I'm not religious, I still found a ton of value out of this book]

Cloud and Townsend do a great job of using boundaries to illustrate why we grew up certain ways. For example, you probably know someone who has a money problem. He spends recklessly and doesn't really think about the consequences of his actions. This can be traced back to his parents never establishing their own boundaries. They would always bail the son out whenever he ran out of money and tell him to be better next time. They never let him "feel" the consequences. And so he never learned.

There's so many other brilliant examples of the importance of boundaries and how they affect the people around us.

I learned a lot about myself through the sections that detail boundaries with friends, family, and work. The one that impacted me the most was the section on Boundaries with Myself. I grew up with parents who while loving, also created situations for me where I was not able to feel the consequences, and so I behave in certain ways that I'm trying to fix.

When I was first referred to this book, I wasn't told this book had a heavy religious undertone (the conflict of setting boundaries and being a good person in the eye of God). I'm not religious, so the biblical references didn't really matter to me much, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them. The concepts themselves made sense to me and I would recommend this book to anyone who believes they have boundary problems.

654 people found this helpful

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Andy_7575

Eye-opening book for everyone, in spite of religious overtones.

Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book was such an amazing eye-opener for me. At first, I was a little off-put that the lessons are framed through the scope of religion (Christianity) as I am not a member of this faith, but the advice and the selected quotes are so good, and the selected examples so relatable that even a secular humanist like me was able to gain immense benefits.

One of the most audacious, and powerful observations in this book is that for compliant people like myself, feeling guilt and experiencing pushback is a GOOD thing, as it means I'm starting to set limits and take care of my own needs (and not that I'm a rotten, selfish person as other's and my own judgmental conscious might try to convince me).

The other important concept in this book is the concept that "hurting" someone is different from "harming" them, and that by being compliant and codependent I am harming others as much as myself, all for the sake of avoiding causing short-term "hurt."

These concepts may seem obvious, or objectionable on their face, but for someone who constantly feels powerless, this book is a lifesaver.

385 people found this helpful

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APPLEBUNXH

You Should Get It

Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2019

Verified Purchase

Help set limitations and have healthy relationships with this book. It's a great book.

156 people found this helpful

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Reviewer

This book was recommended to me by a counselor at my church

Reviewed in the United States on October 2, 2017

Verified Purchase

This book was recommended to me by a counselor at my church. Initially I had a hard time getting into it but I stuck with it and I am so glad that I did! It provides incredible insight into why we behave the way we do, where those habits come from and how to get out of them if need be. I have tried to start applying the principles to my life and I have to say that the description of how people react to the initial phase of boundary setting has proven to be very accurate. (Hint: If you've always been a people pleaser, they are going to have a difficult time with the new you until they get adjusted.) I feel like this is helping me realize that it is ok to say no to certain requests or to certain people who suck the life out of you. I feel more capable of coping with the challenging people in my life now. I was not a doormat before by any means but I have always had the tendency to give until I had little left for my self or my own family. NO MORE!

283 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer

Boundries is an Understatement

Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2015

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This book should be called "How to accept who you are, be confident about telling people no, and have confidence in making decisions". This is an excellent book for those looking to understand the reasons behind deep emotional road blocks. I have read this book twice because it opened so many doors in my mind and lead me towards answers I had been seeking. If you're not religious it may sound a little to holy at first but by the end of the book you'll have a much better understanding of god and his teachings. I never saw myself going to church or reading the bible but after reading this book it helped me accept responsibility for my problems and understand how god and his teachings exist for that very reason. Each individual is responsible for the quality of his or her own life. It teaches that by accepting things which may have happened to you aren't necessarily your fault but are still your responsibility to deal with, get over, and forgive in order to move on a be a whole person is a fundamental part of life. This one of a few books which may really change your life if you're struggling with being happy and being okay with who you are.

416 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer

Only If You Are Religious/Christian

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 16, 2018

Verified Purchase

I liked many of the ideas and strategies in this book. However the relentless Bible quoting is a turn off and the religious influence should be made very explicit in the blurb. Also I have found a lot of the advice works if you are dealing with people within normative ranges, and not for chronic abusers or those with personality disorders.

97 people found this helpful

This is a Christian book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 25, 2019

Verified Purchase

It does kind of annoy me when books conceal the fact that they are a religious perspective. I don't understand why they do it, but I expect it's because people like me buy it without realising! It is an interesting book with lots of good stuff in it but from the marketing I couldn't tell it was based on teachings in the BIble. The only way I could tell, now I have it, is the fact that 'God' is mentioned at the end of the blurb. Until you start reading that is....
If you want to know about boundaries from the perspective of a psychotherapist read the book by Anne Katherine which is very good. I would have given this book more stars if I'd have bought it knowing it was from a religious perspective.

53 people found this helpful

Matt

Thank God for this book! This is the Christian message no one ever taught me!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 1, 2019

Verified Purchase

I’m only half way through and this book is blowing my mind! I keep reading a few paragraphs and have to put the book down huffing as I try to absorb what I have just read.

This is so challenging and is reshaping 36 years of indoctrination. I have been taught that to be a good Christian, a good friend, a good daughter and a good person, I must constantly deny myself, repent of my emotions, put others first, always focus on the needs of others, NEVER talk about how I feel or challenge anyone on how they are behaving because that would be selfishness, arrogance and create conflict which is the opposite to the biblical command to live in peace with everyone.

I have burnt out trying to live like this and I desperately needed a different world view but at the same time I am terrified of being selfish, immature or not reflecting God’s love and generosity because I want to please God more than anything.

Thank you God for this book! I think I will need to read it a second and third time to really absorb it all but I can see glimmers of a peace and freedom I’ve never had before. A life where I can enjoy being loved by God without feeling I have perpetual let him down by not showing enough grace or generosity. A life where I can draw my own boundaries in relationships without feeling I have denied my responsibility to be the hands and feet of Jesus. A life where I can let others make their own decisions without fearing that I will have to rush in and clear up the pieces.

I am so grateful to God for this book!

15 people found this helpful

bob the fish

so far i really like this book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 24, 2018

Verified Purchase

so far i really like this book, and that it puts bible numbers etc beside it. and quotes, very helpful. also as a study book, so you learn how to set boundaries, and how to study about God. I could write so much about this book, but its much better to read it. It is a practical book, because you have to put it in practise. It will help people who have suffered abuse, have never been taught healthy barriers, not walls. and its a talking point with people. I wish id found it earlier.

25 people found this helpful

S. Deutrom

An incredible book of wisdom.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 30, 2017

Verified Purchase

A book that changed my life. No more need to be said. Words of pure wisdom. Reasonated with me in many aspects of my life. This book opened my eyes to the patterns of behavior that had impacted my life for so many years. Helped me to understand and gain insight into those around me who had impacted my behavior and also helped me to stop allowing this pattern and the control of others to have a hold over me any more. This book will support those seeking freedom from controlling behaviors in your life.

26 people found this helpful

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Boundaries, Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

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