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Blog postI am beyond thrilled to announce that my weird haunted house novella MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE is on the Bram Stoker Awards Preliminary Ballot for Superior Achievement in Long Fiction. There’s a whole lot of indie fiction on there, too—think I counted three self-pubbed books in my category alone, plus great small presses like weird punk. I’m obviously over the moon to see my own book on there, but the way that the Stokers are recognizing indie/self-pub fiction and the amazing things people are doi
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Blog postUPDATE: With MFTH at 84 ratings on Amazon, I’ve decided to announce a whole mess of step goals on the way to 1M sales once I hit 100 ratings. So, watch this space for further updates!
The other day on Twitter, I had what passes for a brainstorm—the PERFECT promotion for my new haunted house novella, MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE (out now from Mutated Media and available in paperback/ebook!).
I should give away a haunted house.
Yes, you read that correctly. I’m planning to find -
Blog postExcited to announce one of the weirdest and darkest stories I’ve ever written, “Stool Pigeon,” has found a home at Kelp and can be read RIGHT FREAKING NOW! Check it out here: https://www.kelpjournal.com/post/fiction-stool-pigeon
”So the other weird thing about Bruno Harbeck’s bar was he had this pigeon. It sat on a stool next to a vintage Philadelphia Flyers pennant with newspaper layered on the floor underneath to catch the bird shit. Bruno had put this little studded collar around its -
Blog postIt’s October 20th, which means my bizarre new haunted house novella MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE came out yesterday!
For those of you who’ve read NUNCHUCK CITY or JAILBROKE, this is a bit of a departure. There’s still some humor, but it’s not slapstick, the stakes are higher, and the tone is—I hope—very unsettling. Funny, I initialed imagined something completely different, but without sounding too mystical about the whole thing, the book told me exactly what it wanted to be, and hopefully I’ -
Blog postSabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream home, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s a bored and disillusioned homemaker, Hal a reverse mortgage salesman with a penchant for ill-timed sports analogies. Their two children, Damien and Michaela, are bright and precocious.
At first glance, the house is perfect. But things aren’t what they seem.
Sabrina’s hearing odd noises, seeing strange visions. Their neighbors -
Blog postToday, I turn forty. As a kid, I could imagine turning INTO a 40 (Steel Reserve, natch) but turning forty actual years old?
Inconceivable.
Since it’s my birthday, and a milestone one at that, I’ll hope you’ll forgive a little self-promotion. My newest novella, NUNCHUCK CITY, is just BEGGING to hit #1 in Amazon’s “Humorous Science Fiction” category. It’s currently on sale for $2.99 (ebook) or $8.69 (paperback). Of course you can hit that “Merch” button and get a signed copy, too— -
Blog postYou better NUN-CHECK yourself before you wreck yourself!
That’s right, folks, my brand-spanking new martial arts comedy novella NUNCHUCK CITY hits stores today! It’s the heartwarming tale of a reluctant ninja who just wants to open a drive-thru fondue restaurant. When an old enemy kidnaps the mayor, he’s going to have to drop the spatula and dust off his nunchucks one last time.
The book is pretty heavily influenced by side-scrolling beat ‘em up games like BAD DUDES and DOUBLE D -
Blog postYou better nun-check yourself before you wreck yourself!
Disgraced ex-ninja Nunchuck “Nick” Nikolopoulis just wants to open a drive-thru fondue restaurant with his best friend Rondell. But when an old enemy kidnaps the mayor, and a former flame arrives in hot pursuit, Nick’s going to have to dust off his fighting skills and face his past. Plus an army of heavily-armed ninjas, a very well-dressed street gang, an Australian sumo wrestler with a gnarly skin condition, giant robots, mu -
Blog postSpoiler alert: THE INVISIBLE MAN is one of my favorite movies of the year thus far in a year that’s been EXCEPTIONALLY strong (UNDERWATER, AFTER MIDNIGHT, GRETEL & HANSEL, motherfucking VFW, even SONIC THE HEDGEHOG have all rocked my socks off). The movie is tense, terrifying, and definitely surprising, and Elizabeth Moss turns in a brilliant performance. But that doesn’t mean the film is above criticism. While it didn’t stifle my enjoyment during the movie, only became a nit that nagged
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Blog postMidsommar is a straightforward narrative and a morally complicated film, one that, like any good piece of art, seems to have grown far out of the intentionality that birthed it. Director Ari Aster’s called Midsommar a break-up movie, and in some ways it is. There’s definitely an argument to be made that the ritualized suicide that the Harga engage in when one reaches the ripe old age of seventy-two is a metaphor for ending a relationship that’s well past its expiration date. It’s better to en
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Blog postJoe Lansdale’s Mucho Mojo is a commercial crime novel about two middle-aged, Odd-Coupley best friends who talk smack to each other while solving mysteries. Lansdale himself is perhaps the most well-known contemporary writer who wears his pulp influences so plainly on his sleeve (guys like Stephen King do too, but most of King’s books read like an alien meteor crashed into Our Town), frequently writing weird westerns, pirate adventure stories, and geriatric creature features starring the King
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Blog postI put up a list of my top 10, so far, earlier this year (well, two lists, actually), and now it’s time for the real deal, the definitive list of my favorite movies of the year. To avoid tying myself in knots over rankings, I’m eliminating the numbering (and honestly I think there’s like twelve here) and posting my favorite movies of the year in no particular order. It’s been a fantastic year for film.
THE FANATIC
If I were to tell you that Fred Durst made a horror film—wait, com -
Blog postThere are stories that are such clear distillations of a time and place and experience that one can’t picture them happening anywhere else or to anyone else. Not all works are of such a singular nature--one can pluck Juliet or Hamlet from Verona or Denmark and slap them down in south Florida or behind the handlebars of a Harley, and we’ve got a new, fresh take on the source material. The magic of Stewart O’Nan’s The Speed Queen is of an opposite but perhaps equal variety. Though elements of t
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Blog postYou have to Spark me up/I’ll never Spark never Spark…
Sorry, that shit got in my head and the only way to get it out was starting my blog post with it. I make up dumb parody songs constantly—I’ve repurposed dozens of tunes to be about my girlfriend’s dog Zag (sample lyric: “All I do is Zag Zag Zag no matter what/got nothin’ on my mind ‘cause I’m a silly mutt/And every time I try to do anything my ears go UP/And they derp there/and they derp there”). You’re probably wondering how I got -
Blog postI recently wrote a piece for the Horror Writers Association newsletter on Halloween memories. If you’re not an HWA member (it’s not just for writers—artists, editors, publishers, and fans can all join), check them out at hwa.org.
In retrospect, I should have titled this I REMEMBER HALLOWEEN. Never pass up an opportunity for a Misfits reference!
HALLOWEEN MEMORIES Asking me to settle on a single, measly memory of Halloween is like asking me to name my favorite taco shop (I can pro -
Blog postYep, THE FANATIC.
The horror movie directed by Fred Durst, and from the trailers looks like it’s about John Travolta going full Simple Jack for an hour and a half.
Continuing the 2019 trend of movies being way better than they had any right to be (THE BANANA SPLITS, CHILD’S PLAY, MA), THE FANATIC is freaking great. I know, I can’t believe it either. After all, it’s directed by the lead singer of Limp Bizkit, a band whose oeuvre is the sonic equivalent of your older brother slap -
Blog postThe folks over at Kendall Reviews were cool enough to let me come on and pontificate about why I write the stuff I write. This was a hell of a lot of fun, and I think it turned out to be a pretty interesting look at my influences and how I got to where I am.
Also, there’s a Napster reference in there. Check it out here:
http://kendallreviews.com/feature-brian-asman-offers-a-wonderful-response-to-the-question-why-do-you-write-horror/
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Blog postThat’s right, now YOU can see my #1-ranked movie of 2019. Here’s what I had to say about the Splits in my “Top Movies of 2019” countdown (half-way through the year addition):
1. The Banana Splits
Pure. Fucking. Joy. Taking the Banana Splits and making a legit horror movie is tough to pull off, and yet Danishka Esterhazy absolutely rose to the challenge. The jokes land, the gore is on point, the child actors aren’t annoying and the adult actors nail the shit out of their roles. -
Blog postI originally posted my top ten films up through July last week, but as fate would have it no sooner had I posted that list than a couple amazing films came into my life. I started off updating the previous post, but there’s been some major shakeups (and yeah, I’m aware of recency bias) so I decided to take a mulligan and just create a new list.
Gone are BRIGHTBURN and MEGA TIME SQUAD, now slotting in at 12 and 11 respectively. Originally they’d ranked higher than THE HEAD HUNTER, but s -
Blog postMan, it’s been a weird year for movies. Some of my most-anticipated flicks ended up being bitter disappointments, while other films that looked terrible punched WELL above their weight. Since we’re halfway(ish) through the year, I thought I’d do a top ten list now, mostly to make my year-end list easier to compile. But it’ll also be fun to see how the list changes in the back half of the year.
Okay, without further ado, let’s do this.
10. The Head Hunter
Controlling for b
Titles By Brian Asman
If I Die Before I Wake: Tales of Nightmare Creatures (The Better Off Dead Series Book 4)
Feb 8, 2021
by
Sinister Smile Press,
R.E. Sargent,
Steven Pajak,
Scotty Milder,
Elana Gomel,
Hannah O'Doom,
Scott Harper,
Bridgett Nelson,
Brian Asman,
Sandra Stephens,
Henry Herz,
Red Lagoe,
Frank Beghin,
Kevin M. Folliard,
Matthew R. Davis,
Jeff Strand
$2.99
Boinking Bizarro
Dec 1, 2020
by
Death's Head Press,
Brian Asman,
Danger Slater,
John Skipp,
Cody Goodfellow,
Max Booth III,
Chandler Morrison,
Autumn Christian,
Lucas Mangum,
Whit Slorp
$4.99
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