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About Brian Asman
Brian Asman is the author of I'm Not Even Supposed to Be Here Today from Eraserhead Press, Jailbroke, Nunchuck City, and Man, F*ck This House from Mutated Media. He's recently published short stories in the anthologies Breaking Bizarro, Welcome to the Splatter Club, and Lost Films, and edited the parody anthology Boinking Bizarro. He also writes comics for the anthology series Tales of Horrorgasm.
Based in San Diego, he has an MFA from UCR-Palm Desert and a Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers tattoo. He's represented by Dunham Literary, Inc. Max Booth III is his hype man.
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Titles By Brian Asman
Sabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream home, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s a bored and disillusioned homemaker, Hal a reverse mortgage salesman with a penchant for ill-timed sports analogies. Their two children, Damien and Michaela, are bright and precocious.
At first glance, the house is perfect. But things aren’t what they seem.
Sabrina’s hearing odd noises, seeing strange visions. Their neighbors are odd or absent. And Sabrina’s already-fraught relationship with her son is about to be tested in a way no parent could ever imagine.
Because while the Haskins family might be the newest owners of 4596 James Circle, they’re far from its only residents…
A Bizarro fiction tribute to the Kevin Smith cult classic CLERKS.
After a killer surf session, Scot Kring stops into his local Fasmart for a delicious, icy Slushpuppy. But before he can leave, a homeless guy outside has a stroke and accidentally recites an ancient Latin phrase that summons a very hungry demon, who just so happens to look like filmmaker Kevin Smith.
Now Scot's stuck in a time loop along with the other occupants of the convenience store who may or may not be demonically possessed and he's fighting back with nothing but a fistful of greasy hot dogs and a souvenir Slushpuppy cup as the giant menacing kaiju Kevin Smith threatens to kill them all.
I'm Not Even Supposed to Be Here Today is a demon apocalypse comedy for the slacker generation.
Your worst nightmares come true.
Razor-sharp teeth. Vicious claws. The soul-piercing eyes that stare you down right before it pounces. What will you do when it’s you against a purveyor of pure evil? You think it’s just a dream? Think again. These nightmare creatures have transcended the pages of the books they were written into, they’ve ripped their way from the silver screen, and now they are coming for you. There is nowhere to hide—they will find you. But the question remains. Do you have what it takes to conquer the beast or will you let it destroy you?
The Better Off Dead series delves into the farthest corners of your mind, where your deepest, darkest fears lurk. These masters of horror will haunt your dreams and stalk your nightmares, taking you to the edge of sanity before pushing you to the brink of madness!
With stories by Scotty Milder, Elana Gomel, Hannah O'Doom, Scott Harper, Bridgett Nelson, Brian Asman, Sandra Stephens, Henry Herz, R.E. Sargent, Red Lagoe, Frank Beghin, Kevin M. Folliard, Steven Pajak, Matthew R. Davis. Foreword by Bram Stoker nominated author Jeff Strand.
Disgraced ex-ninja Nunchuck “Nick” Nikolopoulis just wants to open a drive-thru fondue restaurant with his best friend Rondell. But when an old enemy kidnaps the mayor, and a former flame arrives in hot pursuit, Nick’s going to have to dust off his fighting skills and face his past. Plus an army of heavily-armed ninjas, a very well-dressed street gang, an Australian sumo wrestler with a gnarly skin condition, giant robots, municipal paperwork, and much, much more! From the rooftops to the sewers, Nick and his ex-girlfriend Kanna Kikuchi are in for the fight of their lives!
Also featuring the backup story “Curse of the Ninja” by Lucas Mangum!
Splatter (adj.) - characterized by extreme or excessive gore or violence
Punk (adj.) - often referring to a musical genre of short, fast-paced songs with hard-edged melodies and singing styles, stripped-down instrumentation, and often containing subversive lyrics and social and political commentary.
Welcome to the Splatter Club is thirteen stories of hyperintensive horror with no limits!
Editor K. Trap Jones guides this initiation into our favorite genre of dark fiction: Splatterpunk
The ceremony includes black magick curses, encounters of the fourth kind, and bizarre office politics. Story settings range from a dystopic United Kingdom down to the a convenience store stocking a very malicious product.
Praise for the editor and authors:
"There's a new generation of horror writers bursting onto the scene, and K. Trap Jones is one of the leaders of the pack." ~ Edward Lee, author of Header
Fantastically warped and wonderfully twisted, John McNee is a writer with a towering imagination, and he knows how to use it."
~Victor Gischler, Edgar Award-nominated author of Gun Moneys and Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth.
"Nikki Noir is a sultry new voice in erotic horror, one you should watch as closely as a black widow in your bed sheets." ~ Kristopher Triana, Splatterpunk award-winning author
Breaking Bizarro is a twenty-six story melting pot of weirdness, from some of the best authors in the genre. Enjoy!
Contributing Authors: John Wayne Comunale, David W. Barbee, Patrick C. Harrison III, Chris Miller, J.D. Graves, Dani Brown, Cody Higgins, Frank J. Edler, Catherine J. Cole, Chandler Morrison, G. Arthur Brown, Shoshana Sumrall Frerking, Robert Essig, Mara Malins, Michael Brueggeman, Duncan P. Bradshaw, Brian Asman, Sam Richard, Elana Gomel, Porsche B. Yeary, Mike Sherer, C.C. Parker, Luciano Marano, C.J. Carter-Stephenson, Kyle Rader, and James Dorr.
In Boinking Bizarro, a glory hole attendant seeks to give his wife the family she deserves, a time-traveling professor gives blind poet John Donne a hand, a slick serial killer gets the tables turned on that ass, a PI delves into the mysterious goings-on at a whorehouse, the forgotten erotic ouevre of Alfred Horsecock is explored, a trip to Mars puts a cloned super-soldier in a seminally sticky situation, and how did they film the infamous orgy scene in that Stephan Kink clown movie, anyway? Dystopian futures, disaffected slang-spewing youth, sexy tortures, and rapidly-growing pubic hair abound!
Plus, Pinnochio’s big dick energy. Which is like this whole thing in and of itself.
If you’ve ever wanted to lose your virginity to the acrid scent of your mother’s burning corpse, this is the anthology you’ve been waiting for! And if not, get fucked.
John Wayne Comunale
Charles Austin Muir
Michael Allen Rose
Max Booth III
“Literature is just porn without the honesty”--Charles Buttkowski