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Everyone has terrible parenting advice, but ours actually works!
But Did You Die? is the fifth hilarious installment in the New York Times bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. It is a collection of terrible (but also kind of good) parenting advice from some of the funniest moms and dads on the 'net (plus that one super helpful childless friend we all have who loves to tell us we're parenting wrong).
So put your kids in front of the TV and let them eat junk food while you read this book and laugh your tail off.
We set the bar low so you can feel better about your parenting skills. You're welcome.
Featuring the writing of:
- Jen Mann of People I Want to Punch in the Throat™
- Elizabeth Argyropoulos
- Kim Bongiorno
- Julie Burton
- Joel Ryan
- Jeff Vrabel
There are the extraordinary one-liners: When you get to be my age, you’ll understand. Because I said so, that’s why. And the hilarious side-pokers: Always wear clean underwear. Don’t eat yellow snow. Then there are those unusual “momisms” that totally mess with the offspring mind. This is especially true if you were told to only remove the fuzz from one-half of your legs when you were just thirteen years old.
Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee: The Crazy, Brilliant, and Unforgettable Lessons We’ve Learned from Our Mothers blends more than forty heart-warming, funny, and authentically told stories about the craziness of being reared and raised with the hard-hitting anecdotes that kept our mothers sane. Some of the tales will make you laugh; some will make you cry; and a few will leave you questioning how we ever survived our childhoods, let alone learn a few lessons. Although they may at times seem a little faulty, our mothers (and motherly figures) could drive like Andretti, cook like Julia Child, and shake someone up like an Italian mobster. We’ve survived and thrived, and never forgotten their enlightening words. We were listening after all.
Now sit up straight!
These tales of Wonder, Woe and WTF?! share a little glimpse into the lives of other moms, who are a lot like you. Through their tales, we’re reminded to savour the little things (like capturing extra morning snuggles), to let go of the stresses (they won’t be in that unfortunate phase forever), and to be grateful for the laughs that the unexpected brings (because laughing is better than crying and it may be the only workout our abs get!).
So shake up an easy-to-make martini, put your feet up (quickly, before the kids find you) and join us on our journey as we toast to the many clink-worthy moments that motherhood brings.
Shannon Day is a former bartender-turned-teacher. She’s now a story-maker, martini-shaker, and fun-times project undertaker. Find her at MartinisAndMotherhood.com.
Tara Wilson writes about autism and ADHD in between knocking things over at the grocery store and chasing the squirrels in her head. Find her at DontLickTheDeck.com.