#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

Our earliest experiences shape our lives far down the road, and What Happened to You? provides powerful scientific and emotional insights into the behavioral patterns so many of us struggle to understand.

“Through this lens we can build a renewed sense of personal self-worth and ultimately recalibrate our responses to circumstances, situations, and relationships. It is, in other words, the key to reshaping our very lives.”—Oprah Winfrey

This book is going to change the way you see your life.

Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question.

Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”

Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. In conversation throughout the book, she and Dr. Perry focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future—opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.

The groundbreaking exploration of the power of empathy by renowned child-psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry, co-author, with Oprah Winfrey, of What Happened to You?

Born for Love reveals how and why the brain learns to bond with others—and is a stirring call to protect our children from new threats to their capacity to love.

“Empathy, and the ties that bind people into relationships, are key elements of happiness. Born for Love is truly fascinating.” — Gretchen Rubin,  author of The Happiness Project

From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection, a bond made possible by empathy—the ability to love and to share the feelings of others.

In this provocative book, psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry and award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz interweave research and stories from Perry's practice with cutting-edge scientific studies and historical examples to explain how empathy develops, why it is essential for our development into healthy adults, and how to raise kids with empathy while navigating threats from technological change and other forces in the modern world.

Perry and Szalavitz show that compassion underlies the qualities that make society work—trust, altruism, collaboration, love, charity—and how difficulties related to empathy are key factors in social problems such as war, crime, racism, and mental illness. Even physical health, from infectious diseases to heart attacks, is deeply affected by our human connections to one another.

As Born for Love reveals, recent changes in technology, child-rearing practices, education, and lifestyles are starting to rob children of necessary human contact and deep relationships—the essential foundation for empathy and a caring, healthy society. Sounding an important warning bell, Born for Love offers practical ideas for combating the negative influences of modern life and fostering positive social change to benefit us all.

This innovative book brings together a wide range of therapeutic approaches, techniques and models to outline recent developments in the practice of supporting children in out-of-home care. It sheds light on the significance of schools, sports and peer relationships in the lives of traumatized children. It also draws particular attention to the vital importance of taking into account children's cultural heritage, and to the growing prevalence of relative care.

Each chapter is set out by acclaimed and world-renowned contributors' specific approach, such as Dan Hughes and his work on conceptual maps and Cathy Malchiodi and her research on creative interventions, and gives practical ways to support children and carers. It also includes contributions from Bruce Perry, Allan Schore and Martin Teicher. This comprehensive volume will open new avenues for understanding how the relationship between child and carer can create opportunities for change and healing.

Wie die Seele wieder gesund wird: Der renommierte Hirnforscher und Kinderpsychiater Dr. Bruce Perry erzählt zehn berührende Geschichten von Trauma und Transformation. Dabei offenbart er die erstaunliche Fähigkeit des Gehirns zur Heilung: »Beziehung ist das, was Veränderung bewirkt. Die stärkste Therapie ist menschliche Liebe.«

Was geschieht, wenn ein Kind traumatisiert wird? Wie beeinflussen Terror, Missbrauch oder Katastrophen den kindlichen Geist – und wie kann er heilen?
Der angesehene Kinderpsychiater und Hirnforscher Dr. Bruce Perry hat Kinder behandelt, die unvorstellbarem Horror ausgesetzt waren: Kinder, die mitansehen mussten, wie ihre Eltern ermordert wurden, die in Wandschränken oder Käfigen aufgewachsen sind, Opfer von familiärer Gewalt etc. In diesem Buch erzählt er ihre Geschichten: Geschichten von Trauma und Transformation. Perry erklärt, was im Gehirn geschieht, wenn Kinder extremem Stress und Gewalt ausgesetzt sind, und wie innovative Behandlungsweisen ihren Schmerz lindern und ihnen helfen können, zu gesunden Erwachsenen heranzuwachsen. Durch die kenntnisreichen und bewegenden Darstellungen von körperlicher, geistiger und seelischer Heilung wird deutlich, wie stark das kindliche Gehirn von einfachen Dingen wie einer sicheren Umgebung, Zuneigung, Sprache und Berührung beeinflusst wird. »Beziehung ist das, was Veränderung bewirkt. Die stärkste Therapie ist menschliche Liebe«, sagt Bruce Perry.

Changer d'approche pour mieux comprendre notre passé et inventer notre avenir.

Vous éprouvez des difficultés à communiquer, vous ne savez pas dire non, vous ne vous maîtrisez pas toujours... et vous en arrivez à ce constat : " Quel est mon problème ? " Il est grand temps d'interroger votre passé et de vous poser la bonne question : " Que m'est-il arrivé ? "

La charismatique Oprah Winfrey et le neuroscientifique Bruce D. Perry abordent l'impact des traumatismes de l'enfance sur notre vie d'adulte. Ensemble, ils explorent la façon dont nous avons construit des mécanismes de défense inappropriés qui nuisent à nos relations et à notre santé. S'appuyant sur sa propre expérience et les blessures intimes subies dans sa jeunesse, Oprah nous démontre mieux que quiconque que cette vulnérabilité peut devenir une force.