OK [SIGHS] ....I'm giving this a 2.5 rounded up to a 3 because I love Ilona Andrew's Kate Daniel's Magic series and out of loyalty (and the fact I cannot believe this duo could churn out something so boring and insipid as this book.) Otherwise a straight 2 and no apologies.
Besides, I was desperate for something to take on my road trip and it is bad when you can recite an entire novel by heart (magic bleeds)
The main character (Dina) just did not work for me--too soft, too hesitant, too genteel, too ladylike, too indecisive,, too soft.. too "lover of all mankind bsy.. too soft (yes I know I am writing this over and over) too domestic but then, she is an innkeeper so I guess this is about her domesticity right?
I can't get into the broom or the house as interesting characters. Dina is very young and acts like she may have arrested development (scared of sex or men or ...) what is with this new breed of female as heroines--who is buying that in this age of twerking?
Let's see: the book starts out boring, gets really boring and unfortunately for me, I bought it as an MP3 so I was subjected to the sultry tones of a southern belle waaay out of her depth in either character and voice development or interest.
The narrator oh so softly "sang" her way through the book full of lots of lilting and "oh me oh my" voice undulation and descriptions of furniture placement. (I'm not kidding) pages of describing the building and the life of.. and I guess we are to think of the building as an entity. Lord please save us all from experimental literature when all we want is anticipated and well earned entertainment in a book...
The story is about an innkeeper (really from outer space ) who has a magic broom, trick dog with a big mouth and secrets, an intriguing guest and the inn keeps getting visitors from other planets in outer space who of course start some stuff so she feels a need to jump in.. what with her being so mindful and soft hearted to all things earthly including dogs and trees and people and tea and.. you get the picture--a true milksop of a heroine. Yay us.
Oh yeah--vampires and wearwolves in this too (also from outer space, also interested in her In a sort of Archie and Reggie rivalry type of way that is too over the top too soon without provocation....but the one guy she really wants and probably will end up with (the obnoxious, testosterone filled one who treats her like the broom toting woman she is )seems not to be man enough or interested enough to 'close the deal' except for an odd kiss.. (I would say spoiler but the kiss moment is worse than anything else I could write about it). I felt the author really targeted about 11 to 12 year olds in this story except a snarky mention of 'checking out equipment down there"
The 2 guys--obviously both wanting the milquetoast but surprisingly the "desired one" is not a true blonde but he does have amber Curran eyes and the obvious loser after near misses is not a dark haired Reggie... (again from the Archie comics)
WHO WRITES CRAP LIKE THIS BOOK ANYMORE? FOR ANY AGE?
--there are interesting parts but I want to make this REVIEW very clear on what worked (for me) and what was a bust or major irritant.--to the point I did not finish this in either stint of an 18 hour drive because the narrator got on my nerves so badly that I was afraid to drive while mentally cussing her out AND keep my eyes on the road.
Dina, did not work for me--too soft and too southern (or at least the narrator made her out to be this way).
To me, having a lot of family from the South and spending a considerable amount of time there from the 1960s to now...Southern girls can be beautiful, and intriguing, and delicate and smart, and tough--but to me, they never are sexy. Desirable? sure. Lusty? you bet. Sexy? They often are too busy either being over raunchy or cutesy funny, or too lady like to be really sexy which implies a sort of sensual sophistication. The sexy southern girls are too busy trying to pretend butter would not melt in their mouths to be "sexy". At best they are "wanted desperately" by some men but sexy? Not when they are clueless and scared to death of closeness. Up here in the North we call that frigid or maybe gauche.
This one (Dina) is the overly lady like variety--with a broom. As a sometime feminist--hell no--we don't need another lady in distress who all the men want to protect but she is secretly strong with the help of bought insects, careful garden cultivation and a broom. she shoud have been called a Domestic Goddess instead of an inn keeper.
Oh yeah--spoler there.. Dina is someone who makes empty threats a lot--but is reluctant to put up or shut up because she is so "gosh danged nice" you betcha. You know "threatens or else then really, really threatens or else .. then okay they really mean it..) a milquetoast.
The main character Dina--is classically book worthy southern--and acts it, replete with a fainting (sort of) scene, no nonsense about talking about earthy subjects like sex ("why I nevah") and a resistance to even really being able to fight though she can turn her broom into stuff to jab things with, play the victim who secretly has a "trap" ,plant things to harm other things with (if they get close enough to her inn's yard) and has a house and yard willing to fight for her. so Dina is.. what would have been called back in the day: a Milquetoast aka timid, weak, unassertive (though she gives LOTS of warnings to the men as they flirt with or ignore her)--then her house and broom and dog show them what's what.
She is not a character I could like (at least not so far) --in several scenes I hoped her adversary would kick her butt so royally, heer butt globes would pop out the other side and give her an instant pair of kahoonas.
This story (sorry Ilona) seemed to be written by a foreigner who wrote it based on what the MYTH of "southern girls" used to be--secretly steel magnolias, who were always ladies, soft, simpering, weak, but if you pushed them too far, they'd pour a cup of tea, take off their kid gloves, and put on their robes and maybe a burning cross or two and some pliers--all the while saying "suga" and "y'all" and "patoot" in a soft southern, patter.
I guess I believe in females now, who are not afraid to be tough at all times--who don't fit neatly into caricature of what southern or any other woman is really like. My dad was from the south and the women for the most part were earthy if not downright raunchy, and were loud and that "butter wouldn't melt in my mouth" type of Southerner, came off the tracks about the same time as the Civil Rights movement ended--we saw what was beneath the Belle mask and after that, no one was falling for the dragon hidden behind the snow white halloween mask.
Then there is the house. Somehow.. a stationary house that can do things is boring--no matter how many dimensions it opens up to. It can't leave, it kicks people out and makes a lot of gadgets. It is like a Men In Black Extra, ran by a Dina.
I feel like Ilona and her husband had been watching reruns of the Jetsons, Starwars (for the Barachar scenes) Beetlejuice (for the house that opens doors to places not on earth) and threw in just enough of Sookie to irritate, but made her more genteel..
This book was genteel--the characters were not that developed and bordered on juvenile, the plot was ALMOST good, but then took that predictable "evil cousin twist" the side characters made me see bits of Avatar and Star wars in my head (that scene in Star wars where Luke goes to a rough space club for the first time) That scene has been exhaustively exploited and stolen from ever since)
The bad guy or at least the killer , turns out to be pretty slick and smart until he is totally , unbelievably stupid..I'm glad certain people did not die--I am sorry some dogs did. I love the... SPOILER ALERT!!!! Woman at the store--she was the best in that chapter as is the houseguest, hope we see more of Caldinia and discover what makes her so scary--and I hope what makes her scary is not simply her rapier wit or her love of poisoning others and having a strategic brain (pol Pot, Stalin, Mao and Hitler had those too)
I hope 'her grace' has some extraterrestrial trait like can unhinge her mouth like the guy in the mummy and swallow small worlds or something--something amazingly awesome.
Dina--is weak, her broom that can change into many costumes without a bat cave is boring--her innocent and almost dulcet and genteel act is irritating and made more so by that damn narrator --is that the same one who did Magic Bleeds?
I love that audio book--I don't know if I can play this one again--I hear this lilting voice and instead of being intrigued, I want to kill Dina, myself. Yep--she is portrayed as just that weak but needy but secretly powerful in a stay close to home with her broom sort of way.
See the difference? SPOILER ALERT!! Kate DAniels would have told the guy maybe ONCE to leave and the next thing would have been her foot upside his head and him dragged over and off the property or slayer would have cut his clothing from him so that he could mark his territory even easier--I could not decide if the voice for the werewolf was Curran's or not, but Arlen sounded as simpering and oily as Saiman.. in fact--I think that WAS Saiman impersonating a vampire--it would explain a lot...
This was not a good book.
If it had been by any other author, I would cry bogus and claim they were trying to be like some weird and soft version of a Magic book but Dina is no Kate, she is not even Andrea--she is a woman with a f---g BROOM --I guess this is the year where every single author has tried to take up the challenge of making their die hard fans like something that is almost inherently impossible to like--Moning did it (and failed with Burned). LKH did it and FAILED with Jason...Ilona Andrews did it and (imh) is on the verge of failing with Clean Sweep.
Get a new narrator--give Dina a backbone and please don't make her afraid of sex--get her some powers that don't weaken her to death, or give us a new side kick in either her house guest or hecks yeah--that woman from Texas who seemed to have more in her gut than Dina has in her entire lily white (but soft and oh so moisturized) body.
Clean Sweep
Audible Audiobook
– Unabridged
| Price | New from | Used from |
|
Audible Audiobook, Unabridged
"Please retry" |
$0.00
| Free with your Audible trial | |
|
Audio CD, Audiobook, CD, Unabridged
"Please retry" | $13.63 | $9.95 |
- Read with Our Free App
-
Audiobook
$0.00 - 22 Used from $2.55 9 New from $10.96
- 2 Used from $9.95 8 New from $13.63
Read & Listen
Switch back and forth between reading the Kindle book and listening to Audible audiobook.Add the audiobook for a reduced price of $1.99 after you get the Kindle book as part of your Kindle Unlimited subscription.
Your audiobook is waiting!
Enjoy a free trial on us
Enjoy a free trial on us
- Click above for unlimited listening to select audiobooks, Audible Originals, and podcasts.
- One credit a month to pick any title from our entire premium selection — yours to keep (you'll use your first credit now).
- You will get an email reminder before your trial ends.
- $14.95 a month after 30 days. Cancel online anytime.
Sold and delivered by Audible, an Amazon company
Loading your book clubs
There was a problem loading your book clubs. Please try again.
Not in a club? Learn more
Join or create book clubs
Choose books together
Track your books
Bring your club to Amazon Book Clubs, start a new book club and invite your friends to join, or find a club that’s right for you for free.
People who viewed this also viewed
Page 1 of 1Start OverPage 1 of 1
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
People who bought this also bought
Page 1 of 1Start OverPage 1 of 1
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
Related to this topic
Page 1 of 1Start OverPage 1 of 1
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
- Audible Audiobook
A wonderfully light, humorous, and fast page-turner
Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2019
“I’m so glad you decided to throw the rulebook out the window,” Caldenia said. “Living here is getting more exciting by the minute.” (138)I loved this book, it’s extremely cute, lighthearted, and fast-paced. After reading this, I 100% want to go out and open an inn, magical or not. I flew through this during a particularly nasty book hangover after A Conjuring of Light and it was the perfect cure.I’ll be honest, it’s not as complex as others I’ve read recently. Some characters can be taken at face value with little clue of (or desire to discover) their motivations or intentions. The worlds are fairly well built, Dina’s Inn and the other-world marketplace Baha-char specifically, although I feel like Ilona Andrews made some assumptions about the reader’s knowledge of a Texas suburbia outside the Inn. Reviewing some portions again though, I realize now that I probably spent less time immersing myself in the descriptions than Andrews intended because I was much too busy speeding through the scenes in search of the next great dialogue section or descriptions of the people involved (which were both excellently done).The various mini climaxes of the book left something to be desired. I was never particularly fearful for Dina’s life. Don’t get me wrong, I hate when books kill off the main character, but I enjoy a good suspenseful scene where I’m not sure if this is going to end like Game of Thrones and leave me sobbing into my pillow. The final climactic scene was a bit more thrilling, so it wasn’t a complete wash for suspense, and regardless of the “believability”, I couldn’t put this down.I want to say that I particularly loved how Andrews alluded to the background/story of the characters involved without information dumping on the reader. Having read no synopsis of this ahead of time (I bought this purely on a friend’s recommendation), I loved how even from the beginning Andrews left the reader confused what Sean was, and the slow reveal of details continued throughout the book.I absolutely loved Caldenia, Dina’s only permanent resident, a dignified, murderous fugitive with a universe-renowned refined palate who consistently asks if she can sample (i.e. eat) everyone who appears at the Inn. She was by far my favorite character and I hope she appears in the sequels, playing a similarly amazing role with her “helpful” comments that left me literally laughing out loud.“I boiled him, my dear. It is still the only sure way to separate hard bits from all that flesh. And you have the added advantage of your captive being already dead, so there will be none of those annoying screams to alert the neighborhood. Good luck.” (86)Finally, the romance of this novel wasn’t overbearingly spontaneous or instant, which I greatly appreciated. The slow build of actual interest was believable, but Dina’s rather...flattering descriptions of another man created some nice love-interest suspense. Dina’s fierce independence and lack of “collapsing into blushing giggles” (ugh) was wonderfully refreshing in this genre and left me rooting for her specifically, while still hoping she started something with one of these good-looking men. Her way of halting their advances again left me laughing and cheering her on.I loved this book, it is definitely worth reading. I only give it 4, maybe 4.25 stars, due to the lack of suspense in the mini climax scenes and generally limited complexity to the story, but I highly recommend this book for a wonderfully light, humorous, and fast page-turner.
Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2019
Images in this review
Top reviews from the United States
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
KATE DANIELS WOULD HAVE rolled her eyes AND TRIPPED DINA ( the broom toting milquetoast,) on her way to the fights.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 24, 2015Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 5, 2023
Top reviews from other countries
sjhigbee
Likeable urban fantasy with some nice original touches
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on March 6, 2017
Amazon Customer
Simple story laboured by first-book set-up
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on March 6, 2019
Mrs. J. Proctor
Urban Fantasy with werewolves and vampires (which are actually aliens)
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on March 20, 2017
