Columbus Day: Expeditionary Force, Book 1 Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

Craig Alanson (Author), R.C. Bray (Narrator), Podium Audio (Publisher)

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Nominee, Audie Awards - Audiobook of the Year, 2018

We were fighting on the wrong side of a war we couldn't win. And that was the good news.

The Ruhar hit us on Columbus Day. There we were, innocently drifting along the cosmos on our little blue marble, like the native Americans in 1492. Over the horizon come ships of a technologically advanced, aggressive culture, and BAM! There go the good old days, when humans only got killed by each other. So, Columbus Day. It fits.

When the morning sky twinkled again, this time with Kristang starships jumping in to hammer the Ruhar, we thought we were saved. The UN Expeditionary Force hitched a ride on Kristang ships to fight the Ruhar, wherever our new allies thought we could be useful. So, I went from fighting with the US Army in Nigeria, to fighting in space. It was lies, all of it. We shouldn't even be fighting the Ruhar, they aren't our enemy. Our allies are.

I'd better start at the beginning.

Listening Length

16 hours and 23 minutes
Author

Craig Alanson
Narrator

R.C. Bray
Audible release date

December 13, 2016
Language

English
Publisher

Podium Audio
ASIN

B01MQR08XA
Version

Unabridged
Program Type

Audiobook
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Product details

Listening Length	16 hours and 23 minutes
Author	Craig Alanson
Narrator	R.C. Bray
Whispersync for Voice	Ready
Audible.com Release Date	December 13, 2016
Publisher	Podium Audio
Program Type	Audiobook
Version	Unabridged
Language	English
ASIN	B01MQR08XA
Best Sellers Rank	#7,444 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals) #300 in Adventure Science Fiction #703 in Science Fiction Adventures #1,144 in Fantasy (Audible Books & Originals)

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4.4 out of 5

7,419 global ratings

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4 star		29%
3 star		8%
2 star		3%
1 star		2%

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E. Nolan

Scary Puzzles

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 16, 2019

Verified Purchase

Joe Bishop is a fairly typical US Army enlisted man. He joined the
army out of High School to get out of his small Maine home town,
which he loves but has had enough of, and to be able to go to college
in the future without crushing student loan debt. The time is the near
future, and unfortunately for Joe, the US has become involved in a
"peacekeeping" mission in Nigeria where there is not much peace to be
kept. After more narrow escapes and harrowing firefights than he expected,
Joe is enjoying some leave back home after the end of his deployment when
the Earth is attacked by aliens.

In the chaos after the aliens destroy the power grid, Joe finds himself
faced with a downed spaceship in his little town and improvising with
an impromptu group of other Army, reserves, retired, first responders &
armed citizens manages to implement a shaky plan involving dynamite and
an off-brand ice-cream truck painted with Barney The Dinosaur which actually
captures an alien soldier.

The aliens as it turns out are called the Ruhar and look something
like large hamsters. Unfortunately they have a larger technological
lead over Earth than Columbus & the Europeans had over the Native
Americans, and the nations of Earth have absolutely no chance of
forcing them out. "Fortunately", the Ruhar themselves have enemies
in William Tenn fashion, and shortly a Kristang taskforce shows up
forcing them out. "Fortunately", the Ruhar themselves have enemies
in William Tenn fashion, and shortly a Kristang taskforce shows up
at Earth driving out the Ruhar. The Kristang offer Earth an
"alliance" against the Ruhar which is enthusiastically accepted and
Joe and his unit soon find themselves shipped off to a Ruhar planet
recently conquered by the Kristang to run crowd control as the Ruhar
population is shipped offworld. Unfortunately, it begins to dawn
on the UN force (now isolated and out of contact with Earth) that
a Kristang "alliance" is more like being Kristang slaves, "crowd
control" is more like being Stasi police and the Ruhar are maybe
the good guys.

Earth has chosen badly, not that there was really another option,
and things don't look at all good for humanity in the future -- if
there is one. Then, while being held prisoner, Joe finds an Elder
AI, or it finds him. It ('he' for convenience) has an attitude,
and Joe calls him "Skippy" to remind him he's not God. Skippy
has a bargain for Joe: Get (the non-self-mobile) Skippy off the planet
and re-connected to the Elder AI network, and Skippy will help Joe
get the Kristang off Earth. What could go wrong?

The poster who recommended this series in a forum I follow
calls them puzzle books, and I think that's fair. They are not
Ellery Queen puzzles where the reader has all the information to
figure things out, but it is nonetheless engaging to see the characters
try to work their way out of increasingly complicated predicaments
while keeping all traces of Earth involvement away from any of the
impacted parties. In a way, these books remind me of Robert Sheckley's
"Protection" where accepting the help of a supernatural entity makes
one an increasingly appealing target for other supernatural entities
in an escalating sequence..

The bedrock of these books is the character of Joe Bishop, a man
who was happy to be a sergeant and is now a Colonel with the fate
of the world on his shoulders. Joe is not a brilliant man, and he
knows it. He is, however, perhaps the most level-headed man
imaginable. While willing to be the butt of Skippy's jokes when
it helps morale, he is a soldier who actually listened to the
training, feels it saved his life several times and thinks he owes
his subordinates more than his superiors gave him. He will risk
anything if necessary, and is willing to lay down his life if needed,
but with God's help (he is a low-key believer) and Skippy's that
so far has not been necessary.

The story is largely told by Joe in the first person, with some
third person sequences for events where he is not present. In
general this works, though Joe does have a bit of a tendency towards
foreshadowing, which I am not usually a fan of. The books are
smoothly written, with some minor editing exceptions for characters
named where other characters are clearly meant, a few clunky humor
scenes, and some repetition of information we already know as if
the author picked up writing after being away from the story for a
while. In general I would say they could be published as-is by
a traditional publisher, though apparently Alanson is doing well
enough to have quit his day job even without that.

I have read books 1-3.5 and am on book 4 now (these should show up in
future reviews). I continue to enjoy them and if you enjoy classic
Campbellian SF, you will too. (Of course they are sort of Humans-under-all
rather than Humans-uber-all, but Campbellian nonetheless).

15 people found this helpful

Helpful

The audiobook is the ONLY acceptable way to experience this series. 🎧

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 9, 2022

Verified Purchase

This was supposed to be a background book. White noise to fill the void while doing other things, or while I lay in bed waiting to fall asleep. It wasn’t supposed to matter if I missed half a chapter after falling asleep in the middle of it, because this wasn’t a book I intended on caring about.
But of course, R. C. Bray just had to be the best narrator in the business. Nay, the best performer in the business. Every book he reads is elevated by his very presence. That unusual blend of raspy and nasally is somehow one of the most beautiful, easy to listen to voices ever. Absolute LEGEND 👑.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot there’s a story here. Meh 🫤, it was okay. A cardboard cutout of countless other interstellar war stories, with heavy Starship Troopers vibes. The All-American grunt’s story as they journey through a war they didn’t start, but feel obligated to fight 🇺🇸. This all too generic approach to the story bleeds into the characters themselves, leaving them rather bland and unmemorable. I’m writing this review several months removed from reading it, and don’t remember any of them…
But Skippy… Skippy is awesome, and hilarious, and awesomely hilarious. The million year old, smart-ass beer can of an A.I. that’s been waiting for a “stupid monkey” to do the bidding of it’s self-proclaimed godly whims. Skippy absolutely makes this book.

The point is: The audiobook is the ONLY acceptable way to experience this series. 🎧

12 people found this helpful

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Shepherd

Good read, every time.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 6, 2023

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Humor in the military life and life in extraordinary conditions; that make for a great read. It's addictive, I don't want to stop reading.

Helpful

Amazon Customer

The first page or so of this I was thinking this was going to be really cliche and entertainingly bad. By the end of the sample

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 12, 2016

Verified Purchase

I was browsing Amazon for military sci-fi, and was reading samples of a bunch. The first page or so of this I was thinking this was going to be really cliche and entertainingly bad. By the end of the sample I was grabbed enough that I figured at $0.99 why the hell not. About half way through I had an epiphany in which I realized I was actually reading a very well put together sci-fi novel, and I ended up staying up until five in the morning reading.

The biggest strength is the humor, it's a first person narration where the main character has great commentary that really grabs you. The depiction of military life is also one of the best I've seen, with far less of the values based bulls*** that so many other authors put out. Instead it presents it the way that the military is, which is a bunch of guys trying to make the best of a s***ty situation. There's a lot of humor (ex. the acronym BOHICA) that just doesn't get portrayed enough, so I'm glad the author gave it a lot of attention.

Additionally it has enough military and tech details to make it a proper sci-fi, but not so much that you get bogged down. It's all through the lens of a guy that knows he doesn't understand any of it, so it's all pretty down to earth explanations. You understand what the technology does without all the technobabble you'd get on Star Trek. There's a lot of military slang and terminology, but most of it is quickly explained well enough that you don't have to be a veteran to have a pretty good idea what's being said. It feels like you're listening to a soldier tell a story, but from a guy that understands you don't know everything he does. It's a good balance.

As far as characters go the main character, Joe Bishop, was very relatable and comes off as the kind of guy you'd want to grab a beer with. He's far from the smartest protagonist, but he's creative and has good people skills which makes him fun to read. Unfortunately a lot of the other characters aren't as well fleshed out. I think a lot of it is because Bishop moves around a lot meeting new people, so a lot of people show up and then leave the story. Almost no one from the first half of the book is present during the second half. There's also a couple of characters that get thrown in as butt monkeys that come off a bit too one dimensional, but they don't stick around for long. That said, I'm not going to spoil the surprise but there's a character named Skippy who is incredibly fun and awesome. He's got humor to match Bishop, but is also very well rounded.

The story isn't especially original, but the most part it's not cliche either. There's a few cliches here and there, but not enough to be too distracting. The plot is a bit predictable, but it does pretty much tell you how it's going to turn out from the get go. So it's not like it pretends to be mysterious or promise a lot of plot twists. It's pretty straight forward, but it at least avoids a lot of cliches that way. I guess you could say the story use's tropes, but doesn't abuse them. Overall, even though the destination is pretty well known the journey there is very enjoyable.

As far as how well put together it is, I'd say very well. Not quite up to the standards you'd expect from a publisher with a professional editor, but not far off. There's a few typos here and there, but far less than you typically see in a self published book.

Overall it's a pretty great novel, and an absolute steal at $0.99, this is worth far more than it's currently priced at. It could use a bit more polishing, but it's still considerably better than a lot of stuff I read coming out of the major publishers from well recognized authors. Maybe it'll never win a literary award, but its very entertaining and at the very least well worth the price.

11 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Jarrak

Entertaining Story

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on April 7, 2018

Verified Purchase

The Earth was alone until that day flashes in the sky herald the arrival of an alien species that we later learn were known as the Ruhar, they struck our industry and infrastructure but left the cities mostly intact and then their soldiers arrived. Jo Bishop (former US Army) was back home looking forward to celebrating Columbus Day but finds himself and a few friends engaging in a cat and mouse maneuver with the alien occupants of a damaged troop ship but when it looks like the end is nigh the sky erupts again as second alien fleet arrives and engages the first.
The Earth is saved and in gratitude the world governments commit ground forces to aid the second alien species (Kristang) in their ongoing galaxy wide conflict but the men and women who journey to the stars are in for a rude awakening, not everything is as advertised and the Earth and her people are little more than pawns in a greater game.
Columbus Day was a purchase based purely on reading the blurb when the Amazon algorithm decided I would like it and you know this time it got it right. The central character of Joe Bishop was written well and with enough flaws to make him the everyday former soldier drawn back into what he's really best at and to exercise his ethics in a theatre that has little time for compassion and justice. The novel takes its time to create the world the series is based in and of course that always pays off so when the scope of the narrative expands greatly it all fits together well and doesn't stretch the bounds of credibility. I'll certainly be reading the rest of the series but not right away, there is a lot on my to read list but when I'm ready they are on the kindle good to go.

7 people found this helpful

Adrian

Great start to a series.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on July 23, 2022

Verified Purchase

I always start a new book, one at the beginning of a series, with an open, but cautious mind. As was the case with this one.
I was soon flicking my screen with abandon waiting to see what happened nxt.
The storry begins in a similar, and not entirely unpredictable way, alien invasion yada yada. With that in mind, i expected to be dragged through an overly serious, stuffy and derivative story.
Wrong. Right ffom the get go, i was treated to very human characters, with real flaws, and emotional response.
The story that follows, not only tells us we're not alone, but informs us that, we're the inferior species in a galactic political chess game. No plot spoilers, but this book is at times, funny, clever, and very well imagined. It has the power to flip-flop between heart wrenching and heart warming in the space of a page. And just keeps getting better the further into the book you travel.

Fred Jones

More Skippy please

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on January 3, 2023

Verified Purchase

This is a new author to me and boy is it a good book. When the Ruhar attack Earth on Columbus day it is bad, when the Kristang rescue is it is much worse. Now we have gone from minding our own business to fighting on the wrong side of an intergalactic war. Joe Bishop is just a private soldier on leave when it starts and a Ruhar dropship crashes in his home town. Now he is on an alien planet courtesy of the Kristang, promoted and then imprisoned he meet Skippy the magnificent a sentient million year old AI with an attitude problem, a jailbreak later and he is now in command of a captured starship. Loved the story, loved the byplay between Joe and Skippy and loved R C Bray as narrator. Worth more than 5 stars and have already bought book 2.

Rob Roy

Brilliant stuff

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on May 10, 2020

Verified Purchase

This is up there with the best military space opera I have read in the past. Multiple alien races - pretty much all more technologically advanced than humans. Alien invasions & occupations. Alien spacecraft and an advanced sentient SO with a sense of humour. Plenty of action plastics and in space. Last but not least numerous instances - mostly involving the AI's interactions with the central human character - where I had to chuckle or even laugh out loud. Great stuff. Suffice it to say I will be reading the next instalment in very short order. The story COULD conceivably be regarded as stand alone since there is an ending of sorts, but I feel that most readers will feel compelled to find out what the future holds in store for Bishop, Skippy and the remaining Parameciums/bacteria/monkeys and maybe even the hamsters too? Narration of the Audio book was superb, as you may expect when R C Bray reads science fiction.

2 people found this helpful

Paperback Reader

Refreshing story telling, absolutely love this!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on November 25, 2021

Verified Purchase

I read a lot of space books and sometimes they let you down, I didn't know what to expect from Craig and this story. I wasn't let down, from the start it's got a great way to tell us the story, apart from the initial USA rules theme (But that is the character we're getting to know) then we meet Skippy, a great read with plenty of action just became something I couldn't put down, the relationship between these two makes every word riviting.
I would love to see this as a film or mini series. I'm nearly at the end of book one and have just ordered books 2 & 3.
If you like space operas, enjoy authors like Jack Campbell and M R Forbes you're sure to enjoy this series from Craig Alanson. Just a hint and wink to Douglas Adams which is great as that kind of author is one in a million. I'm now a follower!

One person found this helpful

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Columbus Day: Expeditionary Force, Book 1 Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

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