Craig Alanson

Something went wrong. Please try your request again later.
Follow to get new release updates and improved recommendations
OK
About Craig Alanson
Craig Alanson is a NYT best-selling author. His first audiobook 'Columbus Day' was a finalist for Audiobook Of The Year 2018
Visit craigalanson.com for FAQs, blog posts, merchandise, etc.
Contact the author at craigalanson@gmail.com
Customers Also Bought Items By
Are you an author?
Help us improve our Author Pages by updating your bibliography and submitting a new or current image and biography.
1 11 1
Author Updates
Titles By Craig Alanson
Match Game (Expeditionary Force Book 14)
Jun 7, 2022
$6.99
For years, the ancient alien AI known as Skippy (the Magnificent, don’t forget that part) has been able to do one impossible thing after another. What is his secret? It’s simple: 100 percent Grade-A Extreme Awesomeness. And, also because he had never been faced with an opponent of equal power. Until now.
This time, he might need a little help from a band of filthy monkeys.
Columbus Day (Expeditionary Force Book 1)
Jan 11, 2016
$4.99
We were fighting on the wrong side, of a war we couldn't win. And that was the good news. The Ruhar hit us on Columbus Day. There we were, innocently drifting along the cosmos on our little blue marble, like the native Americans in 1492. Over the horizon come ships of a technologically advanced, aggressive culture, and BAM! There go the good old days, when humans only got killed by each other. So, Columbus Day. It fits. When the morning sky twinkled again, this time with Kristang starships jumping in to hammer the Ruhar, we thought we were saved. The UN Expeditionary Force hitched a ride on Kristang ships to fight the Ruhar, wherever our new allies thought we could be useful. So, I went from fighting with the US Army in Nigeria, to fighting in space. It was lies, all of it. We shouldn't even be fighting the Ruhar, they aren't our enemy, our allies are. I'd better start at the beginning....
A selection of scenes from Columbus Day:
There was a faint click, and the other door popped open a quarter inch. Cautiously, I pulled it open and stuck my head in. Beyond the door was a warehouse, maybe fifty feet by thirty, twenty feet tall, filled with racks of what I thought was mostly old, useless, dirty, dusty broken junk. I wandered in cautiously. Why the Ruhar had made the effort to store any of it made no sense to me. Surely there had to be something in there that I could use as a weapon.
A man’s voice, with a snarky attitude, rang out behind me. “Excellent! Bipedal, 1300cc brain, opposable thumbs. A hairless monkey. You can carry me out of here.”
I spun around in a panic. No one was there. “Who said that?”
“Me. Here, I’m the shiny cylinder on the shelf. I unlocked that door."
“You are? You mean you’re talking to me through a speaker in that thing?”
“No, I am that thing. I am what you monkeys call an artificial intelligence.”
I cocked my head and examined it skeptically. “You look like a chrome-plated beer can." That was a completely accurate description. The cylinder even tapered slightly at the top, and was ringed by a ridge. "You’re really an AI?"
"Yup. You should refer to me as The Lord God Almighty.”
“That position is already filled. I think I’ll call you Skippy.”
“Don’t call me that, it sounds disrespectful, monkey.”
“You prefer shithead? Because that’s the other option, Skippy-O.” I kept glancing around, fearing the Ruhar would hear me.
“Can we compromise on The Great and Powerful Oz?” It asked.
“I’m not a flying monkey, so that’s a no, Skippy.”
“Unacceptable.”
“How about we go for something more formal, like Skippy McSkippster?”
“No.”
“Skippy Skipperson? Skippy Skippkowski? Skippy Von Skipping? Or maybe Sir Skippy Skippton-Skippersworth?”
“No, no, no and NO!”
“I can go on like this all day.”
“I believe you could.”
"What you got?" Ski asked.
Cornpone winked. "Uh, let's see. Damn! I got a gen-u-ine smorgasbord of Hooah! bars."
"A smorgasbord?" I asked skeptically. "Really?"
"Oh yeah, a smorgasbord at least. Could be a plethora, maybe even, oooh, an honest to God, gosh-darned corn-u-copia of snack foods." It was funny to hear Jesse say 'plethora' in his deep southern accent.
"Cut the bullshit, man, you're making me hungry." Ski protested.
A selection of scenes from Columbus Day:
There was a faint click, and the other door popped open a quarter inch. Cautiously, I pulled it open and stuck my head in. Beyond the door was a warehouse, maybe fifty feet by thirty, twenty feet tall, filled with racks of what I thought was mostly old, useless, dirty, dusty broken junk. I wandered in cautiously. Why the Ruhar had made the effort to store any of it made no sense to me. Surely there had to be something in there that I could use as a weapon.
A man’s voice, with a snarky attitude, rang out behind me. “Excellent! Bipedal, 1300cc brain, opposable thumbs. A hairless monkey. You can carry me out of here.”
I spun around in a panic. No one was there. “Who said that?”
“Me. Here, I’m the shiny cylinder on the shelf. I unlocked that door."
“You are? You mean you’re talking to me through a speaker in that thing?”
“No, I am that thing. I am what you monkeys call an artificial intelligence.”
I cocked my head and examined it skeptically. “You look like a chrome-plated beer can." That was a completely accurate description. The cylinder even tapered slightly at the top, and was ringed by a ridge. "You’re really an AI?"
"Yup. You should refer to me as The Lord God Almighty.”
“That position is already filled. I think I’ll call you Skippy.”
“Don’t call me that, it sounds disrespectful, monkey.”
“You prefer shithead? Because that’s the other option, Skippy-O.” I kept glancing around, fearing the Ruhar would hear me.
“Can we compromise on The Great and Powerful Oz?” It asked.
“I’m not a flying monkey, so that’s a no, Skippy.”
“Unacceptable.”
“How about we go for something more formal, like Skippy McSkippster?”
“No.”
“Skippy Skipperson? Skippy Skippkowski? Skippy Von Skipping? Or maybe Sir Skippy Skippton-Skippersworth?”
“No, no, no and NO!”
“I can go on like this all day.”
“I believe you could.”
"What you got?" Ski asked.
Cornpone winked. "Uh, let's see. Damn! I got a gen-u-ine smorgasbord of Hooah! bars."
"A smorgasbord?" I asked skeptically. "Really?"
"Oh yeah, a smorgasbord at least. Could be a plethora, maybe even, oooh, an honest to God, gosh-darned corn-u-copia of snack foods." It was funny to hear Jesse say 'plethora' in his deep southern accent.
"Cut the bullshit, man, you're making me hungry." Ski protested.
SpecOps (Expeditionary Force Book 2)
Jun 2, 2016
$6.99
The sequel to 'Columbus Day'. Colonel Joe Bishop made a promise and he's going to keep it; taking the captured alien starship Flying Dutchman back out. He doesn't agree when the UN decides to send almost 70 elite Special Operations troops, hotshot pilots and scientists with him; the mission is a fool's errand he doesn't expect to ever return. At least, this time, the Earth is safe, right?
Not so much.
Not so much.
Fallout (Expeditionary Force Book 13)
Dec 7, 2021
$6.99
The problem with lying about having a super weapon, is that the bad guys might believe they have nothing to lose by doing something stupid that both sides will regret. Or, they might just call your bluff. Either way, the Merry Band of Pirates need a plan to deal with the Fallout.
Paradise (Expeditionary Force Book 3)
Oct 21, 2016
$6.99
While the crew of the starship Flying Dutchman have been trying to assure that hostile aliens do not have access to Earth, the UN Expeditionary Force has been stranded on the planet they nicknamed 'Paradise'. The Flying Dutchman is headed back out on another mission, and the UN wants the ship to find out the status of the humans on Paradise. But Colonel Joe Bishop warns that they might not like what they find, and they can't do anything about it without endangering Earth.
Convergence
Aug 2, 2022
$4.99
My name is Kazimir Wolfe, people call me ‘Kaz’, except they don’t. I never use my real name, it’s too dangerous, for me and for anyone I meet. I’m on the run from the law, who think I killed my aunt, and from whoever did kill her, because they want to finish the job. So, I move around a lot, working construction or whatever job I can find. It’s a lonely life, I don’t let anyone get close, people who are close to me end up dead. Why?
I’m a wizard. The world’s only wizard, as far as I know. I don’t have a wand or a sword, and I don’t ride a dragon. I carry a Glock 9MM, and drive around in a beat-up RV, with a talking dog.
Yeah. The talking dog was a surprise to me too. Duke is inhabited by the spirit of a 3,000-year-old wizard from Babylon, and he’s a good dog, but he is still a dog, and that’s a problem. Like, he still thinks squirrels are his mortal enemy. And that I don’t feed him enough. How did the spirit of an ancient wizard reach across time?
I don’t know.
The truth is, I’m not much of a wizard, because there’s not much magic in the world for me to work with.
But there used to be magic.
And magic is coming back, as our world converges with the Nether.
Unless I can stop it.
I’m a wizard. The world’s only wizard, as far as I know. I don’t have a wand or a sword, and I don’t ride a dragon. I carry a Glock 9MM, and drive around in a beat-up RV, with a talking dog.
Yeah. The talking dog was a surprise to me too. Duke is inhabited by the spirit of a 3,000-year-old wizard from Babylon, and he’s a good dog, but he is still a dog, and that’s a problem. Like, he still thinks squirrels are his mortal enemy. And that I don’t feed him enough. How did the spirit of an ancient wizard reach across time?
I don’t know.
The truth is, I’m not much of a wizard, because there’s not much magic in the world for me to work with.
But there used to be magic.
And magic is coming back, as our world converges with the Nether.
Unless I can stop it.
Other Formats:
Audible Audiobook
Black Ops (Expeditionary Force Book 4)
May 24, 2017
$6.99
The elite crew of the pirate ship UNS Flying Dutchman had a simple mission: determining whether the Thuranin are sending another starship to Earth. Along the way, they became sidetracked by securing a future for the UNEF troops on the planet Paradise. When asked whether Earth was now safe, their ancient alien AI responded 'Not so much'... now they have to deal with the consequences.
Breakaway (Expeditionary Force Book 12)
Jun 1, 2021
$6.99
The Merry Band of Pirates offered the bad guys a ceasefire. We won’t mess with them, if they don’t mess with us. Easy, right? NO. The aliens chose to do things the hard way. So, the Pirates are racing around the galaxy to clean up the threat to Earth. The infant UN Navy has their own mission with the Alien Legion: get humanity some allies in the fight. And the Ethics & Compliance Office might have to do something...ethical. Unless they can find a way around it.
Zero Hour (Expeditionary Force Book 5)
Nov 17, 2017
$6.99
United Nations Special Operations Command sent an elite Expeditionary Force of soldiers and pilots out on a simple recon mission, and somehow along the way they sparked an alien civil war. Now the not-at-all-Merry Band of Pirates is in desperate trouble, again. Their stolen alien starship is falling apart, thousands of lightyears from home. The ancient alien AI they nicknamed ‘Skippy’ is apparently dead, and even if they can by some miracle revive him, he might never be the same.
Critical Mass (Expeditionary Force Book 10)
Aug 4, 2020
$6.99
The Merry Band of Pirates are in desperate trouble after the end of their last mission, and the real danger to humanity is just getting started. Hostile aliens have discovered there is something odd going on with wormholes in the galaxy, and their investigations could lead to finding a shortcut to Earth....
Armageddon (Expeditionary Force Book 8)
Aug 9, 2019
$6.99
After the Renegade mission by the crew of the starship Flying Dutchman, the UN Expeditionary Force thought Earth was safe for hundreds of years, at least. After there was trouble on the Homefront, and the President had to authorize a nuclear strike on an American city. UNEF decided they did need the Merry Band of Pirates again. So, the Flying Dutchman is sent out on a simple recon mission. But for the Pirates, nothing is ever simple, and their mission will become Armageddon
Brushfire (Expeditionary Force Book 11)
Dec 15, 2020
$6.99
Peacetime can be a rough adjustment for the battle-hardened Merry Band of Pirates.
Especially when aliens don’t get the memo that the shooting is over.
Especially when aliens don’t get the memo that the shooting is over.
- ←Previous Page
- 1
- 2
- Next Page→