Crystal Ponti

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About Crystal Ponti

Founder of Blue Lobster Book Co.; Author of The Mother of All Meltdowns; Mommy Blogger over at MommiFried.com!

Blue Lobster Book Co. was founded by marketing industry veteran Crystal Ponti, who has worked for and consulted with some of the largest sites in the world including Answers.com and Google. Prior to working at Answers, she spent a number of years as a business and marketing planning consultant helping entrepreneurs plan, launch, and grow their businesses. Since then, she has focused on book marketing. Most recently she served as Managing Editor, Contributing Author, and publisher of the book The Mother of All Meltdowns, a tell-all collection of moms' finest (worst, completely awful) moments. She also blogs at MommiFried, an outlet for her creative writing and a way for her to share her later-in-motherhood experiences with all women and parents, and is a regular contributor to Felicity Huffman's site What The Flicka? and Business 2 Community.

When she is not busy consulting, blogging, or writing, she can be found nurturing a beautiful family of five children, one much-younger husband, and a cat that drives them all up the wall.

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The Mother of All Meltdowns Sep 29, 2013

by Crystal Ponti

( 99 )

$2.99

“Every mom reading will come away feeling like she has thirty new girlfriends who just "get it"! All moms deserve the laughter and validation The Mother of All Meltdowns delivers!” ~ Lisa and Ashley, a.k.a. The Dose Girls and brilliant minds behind the humorous blog The Dose of Reality

“The Mother of All Meltdowns is a smart, honest collection by bloggers who tell it like it is, or as we sometimes wish it was. Parenting, warts and all, is celebrated, questioned, and laid bare. You’ll chuckle or cringe with recognition, and it’s a thoughtful, amusing read for the weary.” ~ Robin Gorman Newman, Founder, MotherhoodLater.com,
Associate Producer, Motherhood Out Loud, and author, How to Marry a Mensch

Every mother, at some point, inevitably becomes her own worst enemy. In a millisecond, her halo crumbles and she has a moment so crazed it is forever known as the one—The Mother of All Meltdowns.

Some of today’s hottest bloggers bare all (well, not quite like that) in this eye-opening, mind-blowing anthology. Be prepared to laugh, cry, and have your mouth fall open in disbelief. At times, they are so far from angelic, they make Attila the Hun look like Mother Teresa.

So pour yourself a glass of wine, curl up in your favorite comfy chair, and enjoy a little motherly mayhem on us. If you’re a mom, you’ve definitely earned it.

Other Formats: Paperback

This title and over 1 million more available with Kindle Unlimited.

Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee: The Crazy, Brilliant, and Unforgettable Lessons We've Learned from Our Mothers Apr 30, 2015

by Shannon Day , Crystal Ponti

( 66 )

$0.99

Moms have a lot to say, and they’re not shy about letting it all out. The same women who breathe life into our limbs also smother us with their ominous, clever, and oh-so celebrated words—life lessons taught in the blink of an eye.

There are the extraordinary one-liners: When you get to be my age, you’ll understand. Because I said so, that’s why. And the hilarious side-pokers: Always wear clean underwear. Don’t eat yellow snow. Then there are those unusual “momisms” that totally mess with the offspring mind. This is especially true if you were told to only remove the fuzz from one-half of your legs when you were just thirteen years old.

Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee: The Crazy, Brilliant, and Unforgettable Lessons We’ve Learned from Our Mothers blends more than forty heart-warming, funny, and authentically told stories about the craziness of being reared and raised with the hard-hitting anecdotes that kept our mothers sane. Some of the tales will make you laugh; some will make you cry; and a few will leave you questioning how we ever survived our childhoods, let alone learn a few lessons. Although they may at times seem a little faulty, our mothers (and motherly figures) could drive like Andretti, cook like Julia Child, and shake someone up like an Italian mobster. We’ve survived and thrived, and never forgotten their enlightening words. We were listening after all.

Now sit up straight!

Other Formats: Paperback

Scary Mommy's Guide to Surviving the Holidays Nov 17, 2014

by Jill Smokler

( 55 )

$2.99

From New York Times bestselling author and acclaimed “Scary Mommy” blogger Jill Smokler comes a funny and practical guide filled with essays, recipes, and tried-and-true tips sure to get any parent through the holiday season—without losing your marbles.

Ah, the holidays: a time of joy, celebration, serenity, and peace…

Unless, of course, you have whiny, screaming children demanding presents, attention, and a personal appearance by Santa or Judah the Maccabee. Then you’re screwed.

But wait, there’s hope: Scary Mommy Guide to Surviving the Holidays to the rescue!

Yes, in this handy holiday guide, you’ll find everything you need to survive the fall/winter rush of cheer in style, and without having a mental breakdown. From relatable, hilarious essays on everything from the Santa myth to being seated at the dreaded kids’ table, to easy-to-follow recipes that might include just a little something special to take the edge off (can anyone say Kahlua?), to fun and accessible gift ideas, this book is your ticket to peace of mind—and a laugh—during the busy, crazy holiday season!

Clash of the Couples: A Humorous Collection of Completely Absurd Lovers’ Squabbles and Relationship Spats Nov 3, 2014

by Jessica Azar , Crystal Ponti

( 90 )

$2.99

Coupledom. Fact or fable, Adam and Eve birthed the perpetual relationship drama as seen on TV today. Despite the serpents, this couple HAD IT MADE. Luxury real estate, lush gardens, and privacy out the yin-yang. Life was glorious until the bare-bottomed babe could no longer resist temptation. Despite her better half’s warnings and threats to sleep in a tree, she tasted the forbidden fruit. One bite of that seductive, juicy contraband, and the stage was set for eternity—a nibble that has blossomed into an endless supply of tiny tidbits that divide lovers to this day!

Taking a cue from the original naked explorers of authentic sin, Clash of the Couples is a hits-close-to-home anthology featuring a collection of completely absurd lovers’ squabbles and relationship spats. Think couples fight over kids, sex, and money? Think again! Furniture, the last beer, and where to store the placenta are what genuinely ignite our feuds. And no argument is off limits. This book has it all!

Inside you’ll find a gut-busting compilation of stories such as: “I Can’t Believe You Ate My Sandwich,” “Never Assume Anything,” “Only I Can Talk About Me,” and “You Want Some College Boobs?” from forty-six fearless writers. Prepare to laugh, roll your eyes, and shiver in suspense. While Eve may have had the first bite, we ate the whole tree. And made pies.

Contributing Authors:

Andrew S. Delfino of Almost Coherent Parent
Crystal Ponti of MommiFried
Meredith Spidel of The Mom of the Year
Eli Pacheco of Coach Daddy
Camille DeFer Thompson of Camille DeFer Thompson
Kimberly Morand of Anchor Magazine: Navigating Depression, Bipolar, and Anxiety
Meredith Napolitano of From Meredith to Mommy
Chris Dean of pixie.c.d.
Linda Roy of elleroy was here
Kevin Zelenka of Double Trouble Daddy
Sarah Cottrell of Housewife Plus
R.C. Liley of Going Dad
Mary Widdicks of Outmanned
Marie Bollman of Make Your Own Damn Dinner
Ginny Marie of Lemon Drop Pie
Mike Reynolds of Puzzling Posts
Leigh-Mary Hoffmann of Happily Ever Laughter Blog
Lisa Petty of Lisa R. Petty
Lynn Shattuck of The Light Will Find You
Jeff Bogle of Out With The Kids
Stacey Gustafson of Are You Kidding Me?
Angela Godbout of FRaPS
Courtney Conover of The Brown Girl with Long Hair
Jenny Hills of Express Bus Mama
Marcia Kester Doyle of Menopausal Mother
Julia Arnold of Frantic Mama
Jessica Azar of Herd Management
Susan A. Black of I Like That
Dave Lesser of Amateur Idiot Professional Dad
Sarah del Rio of est. 1975
m.nicole.r.wildhood of Naught Be All Else
Angela Keck of Writer Mom’s Blog
Alexa Bigwarfe of No Holding Back
Brian Sorrell of Dadding Full Time
Kathryn Leehane of Foxy Wine Pocket
April Grant of 100lb Countdown
Bev Feldman of Linkouture
Jodi Flaherty of The Noise of Boys
Scott Rigdon of Three Five Zero
Lydia Richmond of Cluttered Genius
Allie Burdick of VITA – Train for Life
Michelle Grewe of Crumpets and Bollocks
Barb Godshalk of Co-Author of Tall Tales and Short Stories from South Jersey
Jonathon Floyd of One Funny Daddy
Amanda Mushro of Questionable Choices in Parenting
Chris Carter of The Mom Cafe

Other Formats: Paperback

The Girlfriends' Collection: Stories of Love, Motherhood, & Beyond! Jul 22, 2015

by Crystal Ponti

( 7 )

$5.99

An Antrilogy of Entertaining Weekend Reads for Women! Three popular anthologies rolled into one:

The Mother of All Meltdowns

Clash of the Couples

Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee

They say it takes a village to raise a child, an enormous amount of patience to survive love and marriage, and one day you will, in fact, turn into your mother. They couldn't be more right as evidenced in this wildly popular collection of anthologies including a number one parenting bestseller.

With over one hundred quick-read stories, The Girlfriends' Collection is about celebrating the stages of life-- together. Overflowing with "only another women would understand" anecdotes, Girlfriends' reminds us that even though we are a diverse group, we all travel a similar path and have many familiar experiences. You'll instantly connect with the honest voices and be entertained and swept away.

So be sure to schedule yourself a time-out, pretend you're sick-- do whatever it takes to treat yourself to this humorous and touching collection written by a group of very talented writers.

It's perfect weekend reading! Enjoy!

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