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Blog postwho: Ellen Schuetzner
what: Forensic Document Examiner
where: Centuries & Sleuths Bookstore
why: Sisters in Crime meeting, Chicagoland
It’s never boring when my local chapter of Sisters in Crime gets together. From crime scene cleanup to maggots to cops, murder meds, and more, we know how to have a good time.
Our last meeting was no exception.
One of the 9/11 anthrax letters. Part of the Hitler Diaries (later proven to be coun -
Blog postCop a squat, friends, it’s product review time.
What is it? 100% Bamboo Toilet Paper
Who makes it? Who Gives a Crap* *Actual company name. I know a couple who are so environmentally conscious, they flush their toilet only once a day using water they collect from their rain barrel.
For obvious reasons, I’ll keep their names confidential. I’m nowhere near their level of commitment and…self-deprivation in the name of the envi -
Blog postValentine’s Day, 2010
Pierre, the maître d at La Folie, wrung his hands when Josie walked through the front door of the cute little bistro. His mustaches, which Josie suspected were fake, twitched with dismay. “Oh, Ms. Tucker, We did not know you would be dining with us this evening.”
“No worries,” Josie said, discretely pulling down the northward-creeping hem of her little black dress. “I didn’t know I was coming until the last minute. This visit is purely for pleasure. -
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Blog postI went to Atlanta over the weekend. Normally, I wouldn’t take off work and drop that much cheddar for a just weekend, but a few things made it worthwhile.
Thank you, dreary Chicago weather. I hadn’t seen the sun since last month. Last year, technically, if you want to get cute. But I wasn’t feeling very cute and if I didn’t get some natural sunlight, I was about to get stabby.
An airplane window seat without a window… We’re off to a great start. But no -
Blog postNever was there a better case for sarcastic quotation marks than this week’s blog post: Emily “cooks” vodka pudding shots. These pudding shots require more imbibing than cooking. So let’s get started.
(Fair disclosure: I saw this recipe on Facebook, but I added my own touch.)
1. Gather the ingredients Pick whatever flavor combination you like. Pistachio pudding and cherry vodka? Whatever floats your boat. I’m doing chocolate and marshmallow because I’m not an animal, -
Blog postMy Wish List for You this Holiday Season While desperate parents try to hunt down the latest must-have Hachimal-Tickle-Me-Cabbage-Patch toy, I’d like to offer you a few wish list items of a different kind. Note that these aren’t tongue-in-cheek genie wishes that backfire. They are exactly what they seem to be, so take them at face value.
Behold, my wishes for you this season.
1. Less Paperwork Paperwork, red tape, or hassle. It’s all the same. Let’s reduce that mess. Tur -
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Blog postIn case you thought this might be a post about how I ate too much piecaken after last week, ease your mind. I have not yet begun to overindulge this holiday season.
orig drawing credit: Hyperbole and a Half (Allie Brosh) After I wrote last week’s blog post and promoted it a couple of times on my Facebook page and Twitter, I noticed an unsettling trend.
“Facebook, does this piecaken make my butt look big?” While not as disturbing as the President-elect retweeting your Tweets, t -
Blog postIn the Thanksgiving tradition of overindulging past the point of nausea, I made a piecaken.
What is a piecaken, you ask? It’s a pie (hence, the “pie”) baked inside of a cake (hence the “cake”), followed by an “en” that doesn’t mean anything (homage to the atrocity called the “turducken“).
Here’s a real piecaken from food.com. Let me preface this by saying, yes I can actually cook. I’m not just the stunning combo of snark and love handles -
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Blog postCaution: Short rant ahead. If you don’t want to read it, skip to the end.
By the time I post this, there will be about a week left until Thanksgiving in the U.S., and I’m hoping to have regained my appetite by then. Right now the prospect of a feast seems about as appealing as a pile of cinders.
“The turkey looks as…tasty as ever, Aunt Martha.” This election has been brutal. My usual escape hatch from reality, the Internet, is clogged like a backed up sewage system s -
Blog postHalloween used to be a simple holiday. You made a crappy hobo costume from your dad’s old tee shirt, used a broken eyeliner pencil for a 5 o’clock shadow, grabbed a pillowcase, and waited for the sun to go down. Candy free for all. If you were lucky, you’d get a store-bought costume like one of these beauties.
“Who needs to breathe?” Chocolate was a rarity. Full-sized candy bars were a miracle, a gift from the gods. Pumpkin carving, in the best case scenario, didn’t require stit -
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Titles By EM Kaplan
Quick Draw!: Fast and Funny Fiction
Nov 13, 2020
by
Noah K. Sturdevant ,
Piers Anthony ,
Kevin J. Anderson ,
Cat Rambo ,
Lawrence Watt-Evans ,
Francesco Marciuliano ,
John P. Logsdon ,
Rick Gualtieri ,
John G. Hartness ,
Martha Carr ,
Django Wexler ,
Adrian Tchaikovsky ,
Tom Merritt ,
EM Kaplan ,
R.E. Carr ,
Eric Quinn Knowles ,
Ben Zackheim ,
Orlando A. Sanchez ,
Eric R. Asher ,
Hunter Blain ,
Ramy Vance ,
Matthew Herrmann ,
S.W. Clarke ,
Kat Healy ,
Megan Harris ,
Robert Bevan ,
Lorraine Agent ,
Steve Wetherell ,
Nazri Noor ,
Gail Simone
$4.99
Other Formats:
Paperback
Baby, It's Dead Outside: An Un-Cozy Un-Culinary Josie Tucker Mystery (Josie Tucker Mysteries Book 5)
Sep 16, 2019
$4.99
Other Formats:
Paperback
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