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Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a “pink pill” for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never be the answer—but as a result of the research that’s gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women’s sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all.
The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others’ experiences. Because women vary, and that’s normal.
Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s arousal, desire, and orgasm.
Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.
And Emily Nagoski can prove it.
“Essential reading.”—Bustle • NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY BOOKRIOT
Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has ten diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish?
Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against—and show us how to fight back. In these pages you’ll learn
• what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle—and return your body to a state of relaxation
• how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration
• how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it
• why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnout
With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in these pages—and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all.” Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are—and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach.
Praise for Burnout
“Burnout is the gold standard of self-help books, delivering cutting-edge science with energy, empathy, and wit. The authors know exactly what’s going on inside your frazzled brain and body, and exactly what you can do to fix it. . . . Truly life-changing.”—Sarah Knight, New York Times bestselling author of Calm the F*ck Down
As Seen/Heard in Bustle • Dan Savage's Savage Lovecast • Jezebel • Women's Health • Prevention • The New York Times • VICE • Pleasure Mechanics
A groundbreaking method for improving desire, arousal, and sexual satisfaction through mindfulness.
Studies show that approximately half of all women experience some kind of sexual difficulty at one point in their lives, with lack of interest in sex being by far the most common―and the most distressing. And when sex suffers, so do all other areas of life.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. In Better Sex through Mindfulness, acclaimed psychologist and sex researcher Lori A. Brotto offers a revolutionary approach to improving desire, arousal, and satisfaction inside―and outside of―the bedroom. A pioneer in the use of mindfulness for treating sexual difficulties, Brotto has helped hundreds of women cultivate more exciting, fulfilling sexual experiences.
In this accessible, relatable book, she explores the various reasons for sexual problems, such as stress and incessant multitasking, and tells the stories of many of the women she has treated over the years. She also provides easy, effective exercises that readers can do on their own to increase desire and sexual enjoyment, whether their goal is to overcome a sexual difficulty or simply give their love life a boost.
Wir alle wissen seit Langem: Frauen sind anders. Dass dies aber auch für das Thema Stress gilt, ist neu. Frauen stecken in einem delikaten Zwiespalt: Sie sollen festgelegten Erwartungen entsprechen und dabei ganz sie selbst sein. Sie sollen ihren Körper lieben, während ihnen tagtäglich suggeriert wird, dass er nicht schlank, fit und sexy genug ist. Sie sollen sich voll entfalten, während sie bereits 110 Prozent geben und dafür kaum Wertschätzung erfahren. Aus all dem resultiert: Stress. Die Zwillingsschwestern Emily und Amelia Nagoski zeigen in diesem wegweisenden Buch - untermauert von neuesten wissenschaftlichen Fakten -, wie Frauen den typisch weiblichen Burnout-Fallen entkommen und innere Ausgeglichenheit finden.