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Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently Kindle Edition
The most effective leaders know how to connect with people. It's not about power or popularity, but about making the people around you feel heard, comfortable, and understood.
While it may seem like some folks are born with a commanding presence that draws people in, the fact is anyone can learn to communicate in ways that consistently build powerful connections. Bestselling author and leadership expert John C. Maxwell offers advice for effective communication to those who continually run into obstacles when it comes to personal success.
In Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, Maxwell shares five principles and five practices to develop connection skills including:
- finding common ground;
- keeping your communication simple;
- capturing people’s interest;
- how to create an experience everyone enjoys;
- and staying authentic in all your relationships.
Your ability to achieve results in any organization is directly tied to the leadership skills in your toolbox. Connecting is an easy-to-learn skill you can apply today in your personal, professional, and family relationships to start living your best life.
About the Author
From Publishers Weekly
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
- ASIN : B003BWL0TE
- Publisher : HarperCollins Leadership; 1st edition (March 12, 2010)
- Publication date : March 12, 2010
- Language : English
- File size : 1802 KB
- Simultaneous device usage : Up to 5 simultaneous devices, per publisher limits
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 280 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #101,163 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #123 in Business Motivation & Self-Improvement (Kindle Store)
- #137 in Motivational Business Management
- #279 in Business Leadership
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Reviewed in the United States on October 19, 2018
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If you are a pastor or a leader, you talk, a lot. But is anyone listening? Do you connect with the people you are talking to?
That's the point of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People do Differently by John Maxwell, this week's Saturday book review.
If you've ever read a book by Maxwell, you know you are in for a bunch of one liners, a ton of quotes and a bazillion stories. When it comes to communicating, I can't think of a better way to get the point(s) across.
It is a fast read with a ton of great content on how to connect with the people you are communicating with. Whether that is one-on-one, in a small group or in front of an audience. He even gives some of his tips on how to connect through writing.
The bottom line of communication is that the ones who connect are the ones who inspire people to take action. The goal of preaching is not to pass on information, but to inspire change, to move people forward in their relationship with Jesus, to take that next step, to start following Jesus, to become the person God created them to be.
I loved this from Maxwell, "I think of myself as a motivational teacher, not a motivational speaker. What’s the difference between the two? A motivational speaker makes you feel good, but the next day you’re not sure why. A motivational teacher makes you feel good, and the next day you know why and take action. In other words, the first kind of communicator wants you to feel good, and the second wants you to do good."
Here are a few things that jumped out in the book:
-Connecting is everything when it comes to communication.
-Good communication and leadership are all about connecting.
-Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.
successful presidents exhibit five qualities that enable them to achieve things that others don’t: vision, pragmatism, consensus building, charisma, and trustworthiness.
-To succeed with other people, you need to be able to connect.
-Those who build great companies understand that the ultimate throttle on growth for any great company is not markets, or technology, or competition, or products. It is the one thing above all others—the ability to get and keep enough of the right people.
-Whenever people take action, they do so for their reasons, not yours or mine.
-Any message you try to convey must contain a piece of you. You can’t just deliver words. You can’t merely convey information. --You need to be more than just a messenger. You must be the message you want to deliver.
-If you want to win over another person, first win his heart, and the rest of him is likely to follow.
-I’ve learned that if you want people to be impressed, you can talk about your successes; but if you want people to identify with you, it’s better to talk about your failures.
-The “Four Unpardonable Sins of a Communicator”: being unprepared, uncommitted, uninteresting, or uncomfortable.
-When a speaker doesn’t say something with conviction, we remain unconvinced.
-If I had to pick a first rule of communication—the practice above all others that opens the door to connection with others— it would be to look for common ground.
-Effective communication takes people on a journey. We cannot take others on that journey unless we start where they are. Only then can we connect and try to lead them where we want to take them.
-As leaders and communicators, our job is to bring clarity to a subject, not complexity.
-Good teachers know that the fundamental law of learning is repetition.
-People pay attention when something that is said connects with something they greatly desire.
-Good communicators understand that people do things for their own reasons, not for the reasons of the person doing the talking.
-Inspiring communicators always expect a lot from their listeners.
-If we treat people as who they can become, they will be inspired to rise to the level of our expectations.
-Vision without passion is a picture without possibilities. Vision alone does not inspire change. It must be strengthened by passion.
-Connectors inspire people to move from “know how” to “do now.
As I said, if you are a pastor, leader or communicator, this is a book you should read. Highly recommend it.
The premise of this book is twofold:
1) There's a difference between communicating and connecting in a meaningful way; and
2) Anyone, regardless of their personality, "people skills," or natural talents can learn to be a better communicator, whether in personal or professional relationships.
This book, for me, was well worth reading, as evidenced by the highlighting and number of book nibs I left attached to is pages. It could have used more judicious editing, however, to avoid repetition, and a layout person could have helped the reader with some improved formatting. The chapter by Maxwell's writer, Charlie Wetzel, was intended to help us know Maxwell better as a fine person. While it did give a different glimpse of Maxwell (who by all accounts is truly a really genuine, warm person who lives what he preachers), it seemed a bit like a commercial inserted into the book and would have been better as a separate section for bio and/or testimonials.
Having said all that, however, the nuggets of wisdom, the wonderful illustrative--and often humorous--stories, the great quotations from other leaders, and the "can-do" attitude Maxwell conveys to the reader were all excellent. He successfully made the case that an effort to improve one's communication skills can "take their relationships, their work, and their lives to another level." I especially recommend this to someone trying to improve their public speaking skills.
The underlying sub-theme throughout is that you must approach everything you do with the belief that people are valuable, and all the connecting skills you need to cultivate are merely ways to convey that sense of appreciation and valuation of people to them in whatever way you interact. Whether you're communicating with loved ones, co-workers, clients, or an audience, you need to care about--and try to understand--their needs and wants BEFORE you start. If you come to the engagement with only a desire to promote your own self-interests, you've missed a golden opportunity."To add value to others, one must first value others."
"What former South African president Nelson Mandela said is true: 'If you talk to a man in the language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.' The bottom line is that indifference is really a form of selfishness."
One "Aha" piece of the book for me was in his discussion about the importance of having passion for whatever you're trying to convey, and he distinguishes passion from emotion. He suggests that before you speak to people, you should ask yourself these questions:
1) Do I believe what I say?
2) Has it changed me?
3) Do I believe it will help others?
4) Have I seen it change others?
"If you can answer yes to those questions you'll do more than just light a fire under people. You will build a fire within them! If you have that fire. it will ignite others."
There are lots of other practical tips here on ways to prepare for an engagement with someone and ways to be a better communicator. Perhaps more than anything, Maxwell is trying to make us understand that our attitude towards others is critical, and once we get that right, the rest flows more naturally. Nothing new here in the realm of self-help, but Maxwell's style is engaging and personable, and his stories often went that extra mile to help teach something important.
"Talk is easy. Everybody talks. The question is, how can you make your words count?" ~ John C. Maxwell
One of the things that I've learned from being a minister and an author is that it's all about CONNECTION. John defines connecting as "the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them." You can speak before an audience and everybody hears you...but how many of them CONNECTED. Everyone can read your book, but how many of them actually CONNECTED with what you wrote. You can build an email "list" all you want, but if you do not make a CONNECTION, then you're just junk mail. You're just someone who has a big "list".
John also quoted, "One of the best ways to learn how to connect with an audience is to observe communicators who are good at it. Learn from them and adopt what you can into your own style." Take John's advice and get this book. He's a great communicator to learn from. The information in this book has helped me as a businessman, minister, and an author to go to the next level. If you're serious about connecting with people, then get this book!
~ Author Billie Miller
Top reviews from other countries
It does give a lot of practical hints and tips, but more importantly it makes you think about motives, thoughts, attitudes and where you need to adjust to improve things for yourself and other people. I wish every company and school had copies!
it looks at three main areas ,on a one to one basis,in a group ,and to an audiance.as with all of john maxwells books,easy to understand and read,but the principles of it need to be applied and put into practice
the benefits are huge for those in buisness in family relations or for anyone who needs speak and communicte to maybe a wider audiance.
The content is simple but very effective and covers basically all the subject and the tips you need to know if you want to better communicate on a one on one level or in a group or in front of an audience. It will help you become a better connector with people and you will benefit of it not only on a communication basis but also on a relationship basis.