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About Felice Prager
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Blog postDear Mrs. Prager,
I know you told us to go home yesterday and study the homonym and most commonly mixed up word list for a test today which was going to count for twenty-five percent of our grade this marking period and I had every intention of doing just that because you know how much I think about good grades and doing well so I can go to college and make something of myself and feel good about myself and make my parents proud of me so I got home and had some water and some carrot stick -
Blog postTo some, a garden must be lush and green with flowers, plants, manicured lawns, bushes, hedges, and trees. We had one of those when we lived in New Jersey. Our chores included mowing, raking, trimming, removing weeds, and maintaining. It was a labor of love, and it looked beautiful.
When we moved to Arizona’s Sonoran Desert, however, we were aware that maintaining a garden would be nearly impossible. How could we get color in a backyard when water was a commodity and daily temperatures wo -
Blog postMom Goes On The LineBy Felice Prager
I received three e-mails from my mother today. This is unusual because until today, my mother didn't own a computer. She's watched me work on my assorted computers that occupy my office and my kids’ bedrooms. For us, computers are a way of life. For my mother, computers have been frightening machines that collect way too much dust.
The first e-mail from my mother said, "Believe it or not---I'm on the line. It took a long time. Call you later -
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Blog postIt was about four PM. I was home alone. I was sitting on the bed that used to belong to my son before he got married and moved to another state. Three of my five cats were looking out the window, and I was watching them as they stalked a bougainvillea leaf as it was being moved by a breeze.
I am easily entertained. Some have referred to me as a cheap date.
I had opened the window so the cats could smell “spring.” They like how "spring" smells. Then the bougain -
Blog postBig
Stupid
Bad
Day
Bad
Headache
Bad
Day
Outa
Ink
Bad
Day
Outa
Stamps
Bad
Day
Big
Stupid
Bad
Day
Lost
Ideas
Bad
Day
Forgot
Sunblock
Bad
Day
Phone
Ringing
Bad
Day
Another
Survey
Bad
Day
Deadline
Approaches
Bad
Da -
Blog post(An Excerpt from Waiting in the Wrong Line - available at Amazon.com - links follow article.)The car is pulled to the side of a narrow dirt road almost hidden by overgrown foliage. A beautiful white sandy beach can be seen from the car through a small clearing, and waves are relentlessly eroding the shoreline. We are on the island of St. Martin in the West Indies. We are on our honeymoon.
And we’ve been fighting all week.
We have battled in restaurants.
We -
Blog postPlease consider purchasing my books:
NEGOTIABLE
AND
NON-NEGOTIABLE
NEGOTIATIONS
BY
FELICE PRAGER
WAITING
IN THE
WRONG LINE
A PERILOUS ADVENTURE OF GENUINE LOVE AND
UNBELIEVABLE IMPERTURBABILITY
* * *
QUIZ IT: ARIZONA101 Fun Facts About The Grand Canyon State
* * *
TurboCharge Your BrainFun-Injected Challenges To Power Up Your Mind
* * *
SuperTurboCharge Your Brain
Fun-Injected C -
Blog postMy husband says, “Turn it off already!”
I tell him, “They forgot to install an on-off switch when I came off the assembly line.”
He mumbles something about the mold breaking when I fell off the conveyor belt, but soon forgives my inability to stay focused. He sees my shortcomings as a source of income.
The truth is, even if I could turn it off, I don’t know if I would.
At night when I’m in bed, my husband asks, “Are you concentrating, Felice? Are you with me? Are you here -
Blog postMy house is a mess of piles. There is the pile of stuff for our future garage sale that is still in the discussion stage because my husband says it is not worth the effort. There is the pile of stuff we are donating to Vietnam Veterans of America because no one would want to buy any of it at a garage sale. There is the pile of stuff that Vietnam Veterans of America will not want which will go to the junk collector who I have to pay to haul it away. There is the pile of my younger son’s stuff tha
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Blog postMy husband always tells people I'm difficult to buy presents for. He says he can't do anything right even when he's trying to do something special and unique. He says I don't give good hints. He says all these things about my weird taste.
There's no truth to anything he says. I'm easy. I'm so easy that EVERY husband should have a wife as easy as I am.
You see, I have a Red Jeep Wrangler. It's not my first Wrangler and it definitely won't be my last.
The Wr -
Blog postI received a phone call from the health and beauty reporter at a local newspaper.
"I read your essay in Chicken Soup for the Dieter’s Soul, and I thought I could get an expert quote and some feedback from you about a theory I'm researching," she said.
The essay she was referring to is cute and easy to read, and I had sold it a few times to a few different periodicals before the Chicken Soup folks sent me a contract. The article does not make me an expert. In fact, -
Blog postSome of us have the eye. Some of us have the ear. Some of us have both. When we hear or see them, they give us that fingernails-across-the-chalkboard sensation. They can be found on TV, on the Internet, in advertisements, in magazines, and in newspapers. Without mentioning names, they have even been found in love letters. We who have the eye, the ear, or both vow we will not be part of it. We will strive for perfection. We take oaths in secret societies and grumble a lot. We will respect the lan
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Blog postQUIZ IT: ARIZONA
BY FELICE PRAGER
QUIZ IT: ARIZONA
is a fun and fact-filled book for the visitor to the Grand Canyon State and the Arizonan alike.
QUIZ IT: ARIZONA
includes amusing and fascinating information about the state of Arizona ranging from a town called Why to an original Diamondbacks owner who is an avid Yankee fan to Muhammad Ali to the Make a Wish Foundation to Famous Good Guys and Bad Guys to Giant Saguaros and Incredible Insects and A -
Blog postPerhaps there are women who grew up in the 1950s and '60s who have fond memories of gym class. They may tell wonderful anecdotes of bonding with other women while running track, climbing ropes, jumping over the pommel horse, and playing basketball. But when I think of those days, I start to hyperventilate and require a quick dose of reality. So I call my oldest girlfriend, and she reminds me that I no longer have to wear my blue bloomers.
Physical education was a school requi -
Blog postYesterday, I saw the words fued and occured in the headline of a very popular Internet provider's news page. I looked them up in the dictionary to make sure I wasn't losing my mind. I was right. They were spelled wrong.
This morning on a major news station on TV, the moving news banner at the bottom of the screen included the word truely. I knew without checking that they didn't even take the time to reread the text.
I see errors like these and I start scr -
Blog post(Note: This is the first column I wrote and sold after 9/11.
Finding My Humor
By Felice Prager
"I'm holding up well. We all are. I was home all of last week but tried to go into work today. I was able to get into the building, but we didn't have any power or phones, so I went home. It was pretty strange downtown. The smell of burning was everywhere and there were still ashes drifting around. Strangest thing was seeing the soldiers though. On my wa -
Blog postNormally, my cats leave fur and furballs in their wake as signs that they are alive and well. Occasionally, I will see them stampeding down the hall after an unsuspecting moth that inadvertently flew through an open door. A few weeks ago, I watched as ButtercupOfTunafish sat by my closed front door, waiting patiently while a scorpion pushed its way through the tight seal into our cool, air-conditioned home; then she smashed it. However, since the release of the Cat Challenge List, my cats have b
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Blog postMike the Plumber helped me unclog my water heater last week. When Mike replaced our old water heater in 2001, he explained that routine maintenance would extend our water heater’s life up to ten years. This amounted to attaching a hose to the bottom of the water heater and letting the water drain down our driveway for 30 seconds a month. Neither my husband nor I routinely maintained the water heater, so when Mike had to poke a wire into the clog of sediment, and the wet sediment sprayed all ove
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Blog postJust the Fax
by Felice Prager
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Hello. Lotsa Lox Restaurant. Home of the Giant Bagel. How may I help you?
Jennifer: Hi! Is this the restaurant with the giant bagel in the window?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Yes, it is. We're the Home of the Giant Bagel.
Jennifer: Can you fax me a menu?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Excuse me?
Jennifer: Can you fax me a menu?
Lotsa Lox Restaurant: Oh, fax you a -
Blog postTheir hissing takes me from deep, comforting sleep to sudden, unwanted consciousness. It isn't an unusual sound for this time of night in my home. Cat Wars have commenced in the bathroom adjacent to our bedroom. On some nights, I sleep right through these battle cries. On other nights, they wake me. The sounds never affect my husband’s sleep pattern. He hears nothing, or at least he pretends with enough skill to fool me.
The battlefield isn't always in the bathroom. Often it is in our -
Blog postAccording to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, teenage drivers have the highest death rates per mile driven among all age groups, followed by elderly drivers and young adult males. In addition, most studies of motor vehicle crashes involving young people focus on drivers. However, much of the problem involves young people traveling as passengers.
My older son had the days counted from his 12th birthday. Two years before my other son turned 16, he knew his birthday was goin -
Blog postThe moon must have been void or maybe Mercury was retrograde these last few months. That is how my older brother used to explain mechanical breakdowns during his astrology phase. That was in the days before computers, so I never actually looked up what void and retrograde meant. However, if it took the moon being void and Mercury being retrograde for mechanical problems thirty years ago, based on the list of repairs my son has had to endure, maybe Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune are also retrograde
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Blog post“But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.”
Ronald Reagan
When my son was in first grade, his report card included a form from his Physical Education teacher with information such as how fast he ran the mile and how far he could jump. To gain perspective before I state the obvious, this son has grown to be a physically fit adult and has black belts in Karate and Shinkendo. -
Blog postI received a very peculiar phone call last week. The man’s voice sounded unusually similar to that of my Great Uncle Seymour, which is why I didn’t hang up in the first place. The call started with, “Hello, Sir or Madam,” (At this point, I had a hunch it might have been a recording, but I was committed.) “You have just won one billion dollars!”
At the words, “one billion dollars,” my latent listening skills went into over-drive.
“Yes, you, Sir or Madam, have won a billi -
Blog postCLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE CANINE KIND
My Dog, The Matchmaker
by Felice Prager
My dog, Tiffany, a large white Samoyed, greeted me at the door as she always did with her leash in her mouth. I was already drenched from the storm we were having. It had been raining for days with no end in sight. My hair was matted down, and all I really wanted to do was jump in the shower and warm up. However, walking Tiffany was necessary and part of the responsibility that comes with dog owne
Titles By Felice Prager
Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cat Did What?: 101 Amazing Stories of Magical Moments, Miracles, and… Mischief
Aug 19, 2014
$9.99
Other Formats:
Paperback
Waiting in the Wrong Line: A Perilous Adventure of Genuine Love and Unbelievable Imperturbability
Dec 17, 2011
$9.99
Other Formats:
Paperback
