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A Girl's Guide to Vampires (Dark Ones series Book 1) by [Katie MacAlister]

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Katie MacAlister

A Girl's Guide to Vampires (Dark Ones series Book 1) Kindle Edition

by Katie MacAlister (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

331 ratings

Book 1 of 12: Dark Ones

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A Girl’s Guide to Vampires is the first book in New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Katie MacAlister’s wonderfully winning Dark Ones series—a perfect blend of sexy and fun that every devoted fan of Lynsay Sand’s popular Argeneau vampire books will want to sink their teeth into.

Joy Randall's Top 5 Tips for Vampire Hunters:

Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, ten-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.

The story of a desperate ghost hunter who stumbles across a dashing bloodsucker who’s looking for eternal love, A Girl’s Guide to Vampires is funny, steamy, sensuous, and surprising—everything anyone could want from a paranormal romance.

Print length

388 pages
Language

English
Publisher

HarperCollins e-books
Publication date

June 3, 2010
File size

625 KB
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Despite her love for novels, Katie MacAlister didn’t think of writing them until she was contracted to write a non-fiction book about software. MacAlister resolved to switch to fiction, where she could indulge in world building, tormenting characters, and falling madly in love with all her heroes. More than thirty books later, her novels have been translated into numerous languages, recorded as audiobooks, received several awards, and landed on the New York Times, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly bestseller lists. She also writes for the young adult audience as Katie Maxwell.

--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

From Booklist

All Joy Randall wants is a little old-fashioned romance, but when she participates in a "Goddess evoking" ceremony with her friend, Roxy, Joy finds out her future true love is a man with the potential to put her immortal soul in danger. At first the ever-practical Joy is ready to dismiss her vision as a product of too much gin and too many vampire romances, but while traveling through the Czech Republic with Roxy, Joy begins to have some second thoughts about her mystery lover because she is suddenly plagued by visions of a lethally handsome stranger. Then, when she and Roxy attend a local GothFaire, Joy meets Raphael Griffin St. John, head of security, and she becomes even more bewildered because the dark and dangerous Raphael seems too close to her dreams for comfort. Readers will gladly give in to the wickedly sharp bite of MacAlister's wit in this temptingly toothsome romance. With its superb characterization and writing that manages to be both sexy and humorous, this contemporary paranormal love story is an absolute delight. John Charles
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

From the Back Cover

Joy Randall's Top 5 Tips for Vampire Hunters:

Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, ten-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.

--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

Review

'With its superb characterization and writing that manages to be both sexy and humorous, this contempary paranormal love story is an absolute delight.' Booklist starred review for A GIRL'S GUIDE TO VAMPIRES 'A book rich with humor, loaded with sexual tension, and packed with interesting, if sometimes slightly off-beat, characters.' Romance Reviews Today on A GIRL'S GUIDE TO VAMPIRES 'Readers who delight in satiric romances will want to learn the rules of A Girl's Guide to Vampires.' Midwest Book Review 'Smart, sexy and funny - Katie delivers!' Christine Feehan on FIRE ME UP --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

From the Inside Flap

Joy Randall's Top 5 Tips for Vampire Hunters:

Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, ten-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
No matter how tempting it might be, do not accidentally acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.

--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B003P2VISI
Publisher ‏ : ‎ HarperCollins e-books; Reissue edition (June 3, 2010)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ June 3, 2010
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 625 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Print length ‏ : ‎ 388 pages
Lending ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled

Best Sellers Rank: #283,321 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #736 in Read & Listen for $14.99 or Less
- #810 in Science Fiction Erotica
- #825 in Erotic Horror (Kindle Store)

Customer Reviews:
331 ratings

About the author

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Katie MacAlister

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New York Times, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly bestseller Katie MacAlister has always loved reading. Growing up in a family where a weekly visit to the library was a given, Katie spent much of her time with her nose buried in a book. Despite her love for novels, she didn’t think of writing them until she was contracted to write a non-fiction book about software. Since her editor refused to allow her to include either witty dialogue or love scenes in the software book, Katie swiftly resolved to switch to fiction, where she could indulge in world building, tormenting characters, and falling madly in love with all her heroes.

Two years after she started writing novels, Katie sold her first romance, Noble Intentions. More than fifty books later, her novels have been translated into numerous languages, been recorded as audiobooks, received several awards, and are regulars on the bestseller lists. She also writes for the young adult audience as Katie Maxwell.

Katie lives in the Pacific Northwest with two dogs and a cat, and can often be found lurking around online.

Customer reviews

5 star		56%
4 star		24%
3 star		12%
2 star		3%
1 star		6%

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Top reviews from the United States

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sunflowerqueen

Secondhand embarrassment as a plot device

Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2018

Verified Purchase

So I'm not gonna lie, I was not a fan of this one. I like this author, I have a few of her other books and I've enjoyed them, but this book put me off. I did not finish it. I couldn't. There is A Lot of secondhand embarrassment in this book, and it made my soul shrivel up and die. The characters were great, but the plot relied heavily on the leading lady and her friend being loudly and repeatedly wrong about who was a vampire, in the presence of the actual vampire, which lead to some painfully (for me) awkward situations. If you find this hilarious instead of very, very uncomfortable, you may like this book. I am glad I read other books in this series first, because if I'd picked this one up to start I don't think I would have continued.

9 people found this helpful

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Julie Weeks

Solid read!

Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2020

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This book had several strengths. The first being the dialogue between the main character and her best friend. This is probably what kept my interest during the whole book, because it was cute, funny, quirky, and lot like siblings! The next strength is that the book got better throughout the story. I loved the murder mystery in the storyline. (It definitely kept me guessing!) The other strength is that there were two awesome male leads that I would’ve been happy to see the main character end up with. Very well developed characters and an interesting world. I suppose the only weakness was from my own perspective. It was a little challenging to connect to the main character. It didn’t take away from the story, though. I totally recommend this book for anyone who loves vampires, murder mysteries, and paranormal elements in stories.

Helpful

Lamb Russell

Looking for a good vampire story this isn’t it

Reviewed in the United States on January 1, 2022

Verified Purchase

I love the vampires classics, but feel this book was just an excuse to write sex scenes. The characters were shallow and there was more graphic sex than story. I was skipping page after page to find the story line - finally just gave up- it was too annoying.

One person found this helpful

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Good2Go

Hilarious

Reviewed in the United States on October 20, 2013

Verified Purchase

This book is so hilariously funny that I found myself laughing out loud many times while reading it. The heroine uses Miranda to make a magic spell where she can list the attributes of her perfect guy. The beginning of the story could use some tightening definitely, and I did skim until the characters got to the Czech Republic and to the tavern where the Gothic Faire would be held close by.

This book held that vampire mystery that makes books like this so wonderful to read. The heroine starts having visions and she's not sure who is the vampire. She never believed in vampires before but she does now. There's a bit of a bait and switch going on, and I won't tell you who the vampire is, but it was fun reading.

The one star is deducted because of the start, how it waffles on a lot and that sometimes humour is sacrificed for story. The humor was great sometimes, but I think it was slightly overdone. Also, all the talking the h does during the sex scene and being so argumentative never really thrilled me. I enjoyed the setting however, and loved the hero.

2 people found this helpful

Helpful

Felicia The Geeky Blogger

Great Friendship and Romance

Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2014

Verified Purchase

Listened for Fun (Audible)
Tracking Books Read Review (Short)
Overall Rating: 3.75
Story Rating: 3.50
Character Rating: 4.00

Audio Rating: 4.00 (Not Part of the Overall Rating)

First Thought when Finished: A Girl's Guide to Vampires was a fun read and my favorite part was the friendship between Roxy and Joy!

Overall Thoughts: Fun! Fun! Fun! This is one of those reads that I had zero expectations going in and ended up really surprised how much I enjoyed the characters. I loved the friendship between Roxy and Joy and the chemistry between Raphael and Joy was hawt! I thought the story took awhile to get going but the second half really took off. I will check out more from this series. The epilogue was hilarious and perfect for Roxy's voice.

Audio Thoughts:

Narrated By Karen White / Length: 13 hrs and 19 mins

I like Karen White's narration. She is excellent at bringing to life fun, spunky leading ladies. She did a great job with Joy and Roxy!

Final Thoughts: Will have to work book 2 into my book budget!

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Bonnie Marie

A delight--funny, feminist, fantastical!

Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2017

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Far more lighthearted than most books in this genre. Less about plot, and more about the characters, with plenty of humor and plenty of erotic scenes, as well. But this isn't just a fun quick read--it has some substance to it, here and there. One thing I loved was that although the main character is in some ways her own worst enemy, always jumping to crazy conclusions, that doesn't stop her from being assertive and from insisting on rescuing herself. She's a girl power heroine, something I always love to see.

5 people found this helpful

Helpful

Amazon Customer

Officially Addicted to this series!

Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2017

Verified Purchase

Seeing as how I digest approximately 3-5 books a week, of the paranormal kind (vampire romance & intrigue above all...the fact that this one had me at the first page, and I literally could NOT put it down, speaks volumes in and of itself. The atypical vampire love story was refreshing, the non-stop mystery kept me on my toes & unable to stop reading until I passed out from sheer exhaustion (ha), the comedy throughout had me laughing out loud & giggling at times & the hot & steamy romance between the two main characters, let's just say it's hotter than HADES. Don't miss this one!

3 people found this helpful

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

Kindle Customer

Disappointed and Unsatisfied.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 11, 2018

Verified Purchase

I read the intro for this book and thought that I would give it a try but honestly it was such a disappointment.
*SPOILERS*
So Katie MacAlister has this whole book built around these freaky visions about a vampire and how it is based on books written by this amazing author. The MC has a crazy friend who won't stop going on about vampires and the seven step joining between a vampire and his beloved. So that is all fine until MacAlister leads you right in one direction thinking that the MCs boyfriend is a vamp that is sending her the visions but turns out it is the freaky author. To top it off there is some sort of rivalry between the MCs not Vamp boyfriend and the freaky vamp author. MacAlister makes it seem as though they have a history which led me to believe the the MCs boyfriend knew way more than he was letting on and was actually a vampire. This turned out not to be the case and at the end the freaky Vamp author is just like "Fine you love him more than me, I will let you be with him then." Which is totally wrong as the way that MacAlister has previously describe the "bond" between the vamp and the MC was a soulmates that would be prefect for each other. That however is totally bogus as the MCs boyfriend is made out to be the prefect man for the MC. There is not even the slightest bit of attraction between the vamp author and the MC.
In the end this book was totally rubbish and I was really looking forward to having another long series to read and get stuck in to. Now however I am not going to bother buying the next one cause this one has left me so unsatisfied.

Jennifer

Amazing

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 9, 2009

Verified Purchase

Witty, romanitic and histeical, this is a great read! Especially as I am, like Joy, obsessed with Vampire romance novels, which is why I purchased this book, and I'm so glad I did!
So, what are you reading the reviews for? Buy it!

Sarah (Feeling Fictional)

Dark Ones Series - Book 1

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 28, 2010

Verified Purchase

I absolutely loved this book - it had me laughter out loud from practically the first page. I'm just glad I wasn't reading it in public or I'd have received no end of strange looks. I just can't wait to read the next book in the series.

Joy & her friend Roxy are both hopeless when it comes to love so they ask for assistance from a wiccan friend to find their true loves. Miranda's prediction for Roxy is quite straightforward - she'll find her true love within a month. However, when it comes to Joy things are not so simple - there are going to be 2 men coming into her life and if she fails to pick the right one then she will be in danger of losing her soul.

The 2 friends are both obsessed with reading vampire novels and love author C J Dante who writes a series about the Dark Ones. Roxy is convinced that the Dark Ones are real and is determined to meet the author & convince him to tell her how to find them. Joy is sure that they aren't real but is happy to go with Roxy to the Czech Republic to search for Dante.

They arrive in the Czech Republic & find themselves in the middle of a Goth Festival and soon start attracting plenty of attention, both good and bad. Roxy is determined to find a Dark One but with people from the festival walking around dressed as vampires spotting the real thing is going to be difficult.

I don't want to give any plot information away so I'll just say that there are plenty of crazy antics & twists to the story and I love the way the ending isn't what you're expecting. The book is filled with comedy, romance and lust with plenty of hot sex thrown in for good measure. If you want something light hearted but still with a paranormal twist then I'd definitely recommend this series.

One person found this helpful

Erica Pillera

Wonderful

Reviewed in Australia on January 30, 2021

Verified Purchase

Even after the 10th re-read, I am still amazed how much I love this book. Every time I pick up a Katie MacAlister book I just get this quiet little giggle bubble of excitement of a story I know I will enjoy.

I love Joy and Raphael they are sick interesting characters. I love their connection and their Insta connection.

I really enjoyed all the side characters of Christian and Roxy and the rest.

All up I thoroughly enjoyed this book again. I cannot wait to continue on with this series and for my next re-read.

Kindle Customer

I'm used to better from Ms. MacAllister

Reviewed in Germany on January 26, 2014

Verified Purchase

I read the Aisling Grey series when they first came out and remembered liking them, so I decided to give this series a try. The story idea was good, the hero(s) and heroine were likable BUT the heroine's best friend was annoying beyond belie which is a shame cause I really liked Joy and wanted to like the book. I hate books where there is a friend/sidekick who does everything possible, intentional or not, to embarrass the main character. In what universe is it okay to tell a man you met 2 days before about the fact that your friend had a vision and a blackout - especially when said friend is clearly embarrassed by this event and doesn't know how to deal with it herself? Sorry, but I would have parted company with the other person very shortly there after. And this is just one of the early examples. I quit after the third chapter and skipped to the end. I know you're supposed to suspend belief and go with the fact that characters in books will do things that normal people would never do (like fall in love IMMEDIATELY). This asks you not just to suspend belief but to torpedo it out of the water.

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