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Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship Paperback – July 1, 1997
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"Devoted" by Dean Koontz
For the first time in paperback, from Dean Koontz, the master of suspense, comes an epic thriller about a terrifying killer and the singular compassion it will take to defeat him. | Learn more
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“Brilliant.”—Shere Hite, author of The Hite Report
“A powerful self-help resource for anyone caught in a web of relationship distress… Excellent.”—Christopher L. Hayes, author of Our Turn: Women Who Triumph in the Face of Divorce
“Few have written with such common sense and clarity about how to come out of the trap of ambivalence in marriage. I’ve recommended the book to colleagues and clients.”—Cloé Madanes, co-founder, The Family Therapy Institute
“A wise, compassionate, and very readable book. It will bless many lives.”—Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People
“Kirshenbaum’s expertise allows her to pinpoint the pertinent questions…. And threaded through the book, which is written in a sympathetic, chatty, accessible style, are validating anecdotes that dramatize how other people have experienced and responded to the same problems the reader is going through.”—Publishers Weekly
“Braving her detailed questions about power, betrayal, communication, respect, intimacy, and love can transform the frustration of being stuck into a decision that feels right.”—Booklist
“Packed with meaty case histories.”—New York Daily News
“No fairy dust here, but a real chance for healing what Kirshenbaum calls ‘the pain and waste of relationship ambivalence.’”—Minneapolis Star Tribune
“Interesting reading and helpful in the way a good therapist can be helpful—by asking the right questions, by clarifying the answers.”—Olga Silverstein, family therapist, author of The Courage to Raise Good Men
About the Author
- Item Weight : 9.6 ounces
- Paperback : 304 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0452275350
- ISBN-13 : 978-0452275355
- Publisher : Plume; Reprint Edition (July 1, 1997)
- Product Dimensions : 5.3 x 0.81 x 8 inches
- Language: : English
- Best Sellers Rank: #10,823 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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It works by explaining relationship trouble, each with case examples that make you relate and understand what the author means, and then working from major, no brainer problems to the nitty gritty problems and lets you decide for yourself through the process of elimination.
For example this big issue is as such, you might experience this and a case example clarfies it more. Then the author asks the question: if this relates to your relationship, it might/might not work because.... and has you think about if it's worth for you to stay or leave.
If you can't identify yourself with said problem or you decide, it's not something that bugs you, you read further and get into more depth and see every angle of a relationship illuminated and examined mercilessly.
I was stunned that she even included body odor as a relationship problem. Very thorough, easy read, self explanatory, doesn't leave any questions. After reading this, you will absolutely know where your relationship is, no excuses.
The decision however is yours to make.
Hope this helps.
I found this book useful in working through some doubts about a dating relationship that was, at the time, a year old. I recently recommended it to someone who's been married over 30 years. It'll work for both, but it is targeted toward marriages, so a few of the questions aren't applicable to relatively new relationships.
the author does not presume to know more than we do, nor does she presume to be more aware of what's going on in your relationship than you - or your therapist, if you have one - does. And, I appreciate that. She makes it clear that she is only providing the reader with opportunities to learn from others, whose stories we read as we work our way through the book. So far, so good, and this is from someone who generally doesn't like self-help books.
Top reviews from other countries
After a separation it confirmed all the reason why I did it. Conforting.