I could not have ruder words for this English knighted **** of a playwright who wrote this thing for doing such a disservice to single mothers, right down to “it takes a man to save her”. You may be all misty and feeling wonderful about it, but if you believe that any of this is representative of single motherhood, let alone single motherhood after abuse, how many single moms have you devoted that much effort and time to? Exactly, unless they’re your own daughter. And neither does anyone else.
Here’s where single moms generally find help, when they find it at all:
- The next abusive, predatory man
- The women who run the shelters and support-collecting agencies
- The women lawyers and legislators who are occasionally able to make the law work for them
- A woman at the kids’ school
- Their moms and sisters, sometimes
If you actually believe that some lovely, competent, resource-rich community comes together to help the plucky abuse-escapee mom in America, I have a shelter to introduce you to. When are you signing up to dedicate a significant slice of your life to the women and children there? You know, ongoing, committed time? Right. You and everybody else. But hey, now you feel great and inspired, so why should you worry about actual single moms? Surely there’s a nice fairy tale taking care of them all.
For the next fairy tale in the book, please turn to “seek help from your faith community.”
What actually helps: flexible and part-time salaried jobs with benefits that recognize that kids don’t hatch from eggs and raise themselves. Reasonable quality creches like the rest of the world has. Decent educational systems. All the things that make it possible for single parents to make a reasonable living while bringing up the kids. If you insist on building a society whose entire purpose is to defend men’s ideas of themselves as the big heroes in the story, and entitled to women’s free service, then you get misery for single mothers and their kids. Skip that part, and actually acknowledge violence against women when you vote and in how you build your police & legal systems, and single mothers aren’t pore desperate abused-but-gritty hardship cases fit for making you feel all glowy in a fairy tale. They just become normal parents, raising kids, paying bills.
In orther words, it’s up to you, how you vote, what you tell your legislators & councils you want. You don’t get to feel glowy and inspired that way because you don’t get to see a struggle-and-triumph story? Well, maybe it’s not supposed to be about you.