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Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby: The 5 Love Languages® for Grieving Parents Kindle Edition
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Praise for Holding on to Love after You've Lost a Baby
“The kind of relational stress that a couple goes through after losing a child can be ugly and plain violent. The pain is raw, the wounds are open, and loving each other through the tragedy can almost feel impossible. The words Candy and Dr. Chapman have written are incredibly compassionate and kind—you will find genuinely helpful advice, stories, and resources. I’m in awe of the beauty that has come from such a devastating loss, and I'm thankful to be a witness to the legacy of love on these pages and words.”
“Losing a baby has been one of the most painful things that I have ever gone through. Candy’s and Gary’s book, Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby, brings comfort and encouragement to grieving parents and gives insight into what’s most helpful for friends of the grieving parents. The pages are filled with hope from those who have walked through the valley of losing a child.”
Mother of 19 children here on earth and in loving memory of our 2 babies in heaven, Caleb and Jubilee
“Losing a child is an unspeakable loss. Instead of holding your little one in your arms you have suddenly become part of a club no one would ever want to join. How do you navigate the pain? How does your marriage survive such grief? Candy has been there, and in this book she will tenderly walk you down a path to healing, hope, and love.”
Author of Praying Women
“As a pastor, I’ve walked many families through the process of grief. However, as a dad I had no idea how to face it for myself. It is hard to fathom, but my wife and I have gone through sixteen pregnancies in total, resulting in eight healthy children and eight waiting for us in heaven. Each time there was grief. Each time required facing fear. And each time God’s miraculous love brought healing. As I turned the pages of Holding on to Love After You’ve Lost a Baby, I experienced the healing grace of the Lord. I highly recommend this book. Consider resourcing your church, counseling ministry, and mom’s groups with copies of Holding on to Love after You've Lost a Baby to have on hand to gift to people grieving.”
Senior Pastor of The House Church
“As parents who have experienced the loss of two children, we wholeheartedly recommend reading Holding on to Love after You've Lost a Baby. It is a great resource for parents walking through child loss and for friends and family walking along with them. Holding on to love after you’ve lost a baby is difficult, and this book reminds you that you’re not alone, you’re seen, and that healing doesn’t mean forgetting your precious child. Remembering always, our boys, Dobbs and Reed.”
–Gentry and Hadley Eddings
Bereaved parents, pastor at Forest Hill Church
“Grief speaks a language all its own and this book provides one of the most thoughtful and compassionate approaches to ministering to those who are grieving. Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby is a book you will pick up time after time as you walk with people through their darkest days and guide them to that Light at the end of the tunnel.”
Senior Pastor, Free Chapel, New York Times bestselling author
“As a parent and grandparent myself, I know that the loss of a child is the parent’s greatest fear. The force of this fear must be met with an even greater force of love to endure such tremendous loss. Candy McVicar’s insightful story and Gary Chapman’s wisdom are a perfect combination. The strategic blend these two bring is how we as couples, families, and communities increase the experience of healing love and chase away crippling fear. There are few resources that I have found to be this succinct and powerful for the person who grieves.”
President of Loving on Purpose
Author of Keep Your Love On and Unpunishable
“What an incredible book! This is a book that everyone needs to read, whether you have experienced loss or not. I have been inspired reading how Candy and Stephen selflessly give away what they learned through the trauma of stillbirth and miscarriage, which translates that many thousands are being helped in their journey too. This book is a wonderful and significant resource for grieving parents and a brilliant help for those who want to help family or friends who suffer loss. Read it and let it reach the depths of your heart, soul, mind, and body, because as you do, hope will begin to arise.”
Author, motivational speaker, founder of Spiritual Health Weekends, and cofounder of ngm and The Inspire Arts Trust
“Holding on to Love after You've Lost a Baby is a gift to every parent who has experienced the worst kind of loss and the church leaders and friends called to come alongside. Having been on both sides of this dark valley, as a pastor and having lost our first child, Michael, in stillbirth, I can say from personal experience how valuable this book will be to the thousands of moms and dads silently grieving as well as those nearest to them who are searching for ways to love them through it.”
Director of Strategic Outreach and Editorial Director, Free Chapel
“Candy and Gary have taken on an important and much-needed conversation with this book. I know first-hand the pain of losing multiple pregnancies to miscarriage; it can feel so difficult, isolating, and hopeless. Knowing how to navigate this journey with love will be a gift to so many.”
“What a refreshing truth to help bring healing to hurt! This is a book that should be read by every pastor, teacher, counselor, doctor, mother, and friend. Though I have raised 19 beautiful children, my heart still often feels the loss of our 4 miscarried babies that are in heaven. No one prepared me for the months of tears and the emptiness that I felt. Though amidst an army of loving family and friends, there was still a loneliness that gripped my heart. How I wish this book had been available those many years ago! What a joy and encouragement it has been to read it now. When the unthinkable happens—the loss of a child—our world turns upside down! Candy McVicar and Gary Chapman walk us through the challenges, the emotions, and even the relational issues that accompany this unexpected and devastating loss. Now there is hope for the hurting mom or dad, for the grieving friends and family who want to comfort but feel so helpless. I know this book will be a welcomed and treasured source of wisdom as you journey through this storm or as you help someone else through this painful road toward healing.”
–Kelly Jo Bates
Mother to 4 precious babies in heaven and 19 wonderful children
Kelly, her husband Gil, and their family appear on the Bringing Up Bates reality TV show
From the Back Cover
"Losing a child is an unspeakable loss. Instead of holding your little one in your arms, you have suddenly become part of a club no on would ever want to join. How do you navigate the pain? How does your marriage survive such grief? Candy has been there, and in this book she will tenderly walk you down a path to healing, hope, and love."
–Sheila Walsh, author of It's Okay Not to Be Okay
Candy McVicar was blindsided by the death of her baby, which opened her eyes to the dark world of grief and trauma. Her subsequent infertility and a late miscarriage compounded her sorrow, making it difficult to survive with hope. Amazingly, she navigated grief and experienced healing by discovering new ways to love through loss.
In Holding On to Love After You've Lost a Baby, Candy teams up with relationship expert Gary Chapman to guide you through using the five love languages to find healing after the loss of a child. Both Gary and Candy share from their extensive personal and professional experience to help you:
- Discern love languages for you, your spouse, and children
- Inventory your grief process and invest in your own wellbeing
- Be a good friend and provider to someone grieving
- Consider what gifts may be found and shared through your journey
- ASIN : B07YTNL326
- Publisher : Northfield Publishing; Illustrated edition (April 7, 2020)
- Publication date : April 7, 2020
- Language : English
- File size : 5788 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 208 pages
- Lending : Enabled
- Best Sellers Rank: #679,992 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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Candy McVicar has lost babies to both stillbirth and miscarriage, and now runs a grief care organization for people who have lost children under a variety of circumstances. She shares her testimony with raw, personal details, and also shares stories from other parents who have lost children. Gary Chapman’s sections of the book support hers, providing additional guidance and sharing about how parents can draw on The Five Love Languages to keep their relationship strong. This element of the book is not gimmicky at all, and is based in McVicar’s personal experience. When she and her husband lost their first child to stillbirth, they found Chapman’s resources transformative as they went through this loss together.
This book is also not just for parents. The authors address some chapters to family and friends, helping people understand how to support their grieving loved ones and avoid saying and doing hurtful things. The authors also acknowledge the grief and complex emotions that family and friends experience when a baby dies. This book is very gentle, thorough, practical, and life-affirming, and I highly recommend it.
As a momma who lost a child through miscarriage, I found myself holding back tears (unsuccessfully) within the first few paragraphs of chapter one and continuing throughout Holding Onto Love. Though Dr. Chapman and McVicar are coauthors, it is McVicar’s writing that captures the varied and intense emotions of grieving a baby, this due to her personal experiences. Holding Onto Love will be a resource I recommend to mothers grieving a pregnancy or infant loss.
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in order to write an honest, unbiased review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.