Ike Lasater

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About Ike Lasater

Ike Lasater, J.D., MCP, Author, Mediator, Trainer and Speaker, helps organizations and individuals develop the capacity to more effectively collaborate to clarify their objectives, and then to achieve them. He also acts as a private mediator, facilitating conversations and connection among people in conflict.

A former civil trial attorney, Lasater co-founded a 20-person law firm, litigating complex, multi-party commercial and environmental cases for 20 years in the state and federal courts of California. He received a Masters in City Planning from UC Berkeley studying global energy policy. Lasater trained extensively with psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D., founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) for over a decade, he grew to see that conflict can be an opportunity for connection, and shifted his focus from law to training. NVC's approach was congruent with his values, developed through long-term practices of Zen meditation, yoga (he co-founded The Yoga Journal in 1975) and aikido.

Lasater and colleague John Kinyon co-developed a yearlong immersion training program that is now offered in five countries. (See www.mediateyourlife.com).

His books include:

Collaborating in the Workplace: A Guide for Building Better Teams (2019)
Words That Work in Business: A Practical Guide to Effective Communication in the Workplace (2010, Second Edition 2019)
When Your Mind Sabotages Your Dreams: Turning Your Critical Internal Voices into Collaborative Allies (2017)
From Conflict to Connection: Transforming Difficult Conversations into Peaceful Resolutions (2015)
Mediate Your Life Training Manual, 5th Edition (2014)
Choosing Peace: New Ways to Communicate to Reduce Stress, Create Connection, and Resolve Conflict (2014)
What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication (2009)
Lasater has served on the boards of the Center for Nonviolent Communication the Association for Dispute Resolution of Northern California, the California Yoga Teachers Association, The Lawyers Club of San Francisco, the Yale Humanist Community and on the mediation panel for the United States District Court for the Northern District of California.

He has been a guest speaker at Fontys University of Applied Sciences and The HAN University of Applied Sciences in The Netherlands, The University of California, Berkeley and The Yale School of Management. Lasater has facilitated workshops in more than more than 20 countries in North and South America, Europe, Africa, Australia and Asia, for such groups as the Dongfeng Nissan car manufacturing plant in Guangzhou, China, BNI in South Korea (with participants from Hyundai and Samsung), Decathlon in Italy, Glynwood in Cold Spring, New York, and in Cleveland, Ohio, the Cleveland Metropolitan Bar Association, The Center for Principled Family Advocacy and The Mediation Association of Northeast Ohio. His mediations include large-scale projects with the University of California, Santa Cruz involving 100 administrative leaders, and a departmental faculty at the University of California, Los Angeles.

In the wake of the 9/11 attacks, in early 2002, Lasater and his Mediate Your Life co-founder John Kinyon traveled to Afghan refugee camps in Pakistan to offer conflict resolution skills training to elder leaders. And with colleagues at Ayeish, in Spring 2016, he worked with Syrian political opposition leaders of the Etilaf National Coalition of Syrian Revolution and Opposition Forces in Istanbul to offer tools for connection and communication in the midst of intense conflict and negotiation.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

Oren Jay Sofer

Thich Nhat Hanh

Chris Kresser

William R. Miller

Nessa Carey

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Author Updates

Books By Ike Lasater

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What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication Aug 9, 2016

by Ike Lasater , Judith Hanson Lasater

( 81 )

$14.99

Have you ever tried to tell someone what you want only to feel misunderstood and frustrated? Or hesitated to ask for what you needed because you didn't want to burden the other person? Or been stuck in blame or anger that wouldn't go away?

Judith and Ike Lasater, long-term students of yoga and Buddhism, experienced dilemmas like these, too. Even though they had studied the yoga principle of satya (truth) and the Buddhist precept of right speech, it was not until they began practicing Marshall Rosenberg's techniques of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) that they understood how to live satya and right speech.

In What We Say Matters, Judith and Ike describe their journey through NVC and how speech becomes a spiritual practice based on giving and receiving with compassion—everywhere, all the time—whether at home, at work, or in the world. Their writing is deeply personal, punctuated by their recounts of trial and error, success and failure, laughter and challenge—even in writing this book! They guide you through an introduction to NVC with clear explanations, poignant examples, suggested exercises, and helpful resources. With practice, you'll learn new ways to:

   • extend empathy to yourself and others
   • distinguish between feelings and needs
   • make requests rather than demands
   • choose connection over conflict
   • create mutually satisfying outcomes

Other Formats: Paperback

From Conflict To Connection: Transforming Difficult Conversations Into Peaceful Resolutions (Mediate Your Life: A Guide to Removing Barriers to Communication Book 2) Oct 12, 2015

by John Kinyon , Ike Lasater , Julie Stiles

( 9 )

$7.99

Everyone experiences conflict, and if you’re like most people, it is typically a source of stress in relationships. But what if you could have difficult conversations with ease and create agreements that actually work?

With 40 years of combined experience in a Nonviolent Communication approach to mediation and conflict resolution, the authors of From Conflict to Connection offer a step-by-step guide to being in a relationship with yourself and others that generates new possibilities out of discord and disagreements. The book’s concrete, practical tools and maps for all stages of interpersonal communication, as well as many examples, will help you to:

•understand how people get into conflict … and how to get out
•develop the ability to be centered regardless of what’s happening around you
•respond the way you’d like when you are upset and triggered
•reshape negative judgments of yourself and others
•navigate a difficult conversation so you both feel empowered and satisfied with the outcome

If you’re ready to escape the power struggle of relationships, be able to hear the other person and express what you’d like to say, and find solutions that work for everyone, From Conflict to Connection provides a new way forward that has transformed the lives of people worldwide.

JOHN KINYON and IKE LASATER have been refining their distinct Mediate Your Life approach since 2003, providing telecourses and workshops in more than 16 countries, helping people approach conflict as an opportunity and gain the skills and capacity to create true dialogue and new possibilities for connection.

Other Formats: Paperback

Collaborating in the Workplace: A Guide for Building Better Teams May 1, 2019

by Ike Lasater , Julie Stiles

( 3 )

$5.99

Collaborating in the Workplace arms readers with tips to help teams collaborate and create more powerful outcomes. Focusing on the key skills necessary for effective collaboration, along with practical exercises to help improve these skills, the goal of this informative volume is to encourage the creation of connections that lead to powerful communication and better results. The authors cover such topics as: how stress impacts daily interactions; ways of listening that create a deeper understanding and connection with others; preparing for, practicing, and learning from difficult conversations; tricky workplace communication issues that tend to trip people up, such as interrupting, giving feedback, and being clear about requests. With step-by-step exercises and guidelines for practice, readers can learn the skills necessary to make any team work better together.

Other Formats: Paperback

When Your Mind Sabotages Your Dreams: Turning Your Critical Internal Voices into Collaborative Allies (Mediate Your Life: A Guide to Removing Barriers to Communication Book 3) Oct 20, 2017

by Ike Lasater , John Kinyon , Julie Stiles

$7.99

Have you ever stopped yourself from achieving a dream, even before you started? Was it because of critical internal voices giving you one or more reasons why you couldn’t make it happen? If so, you may be surprised to learn that those seemingly negative voices not only have a meaningful purpose, but that they can actually become your allies instead of your detractors.

In When Your Mind Sabotages Your Dreams, you will master a way of being in relationship with yourself that empowers you to turn self-sabotaging internal voices into supporters that contribute to creating the life you desire. The concrete, practical tools and maps in this book will help you navigate all stages of planning and realizing your dreams by:

• creating clarity and connection within

• utilizing self-empathy and other compassionate methods

• removing the barriers that hold you back

• overcoming judgment of past choices

• persevering when others are obstacles

If you’ve had one foot on the gas and one on the brake, When Your Mind Sabotages Your Dreams will shift you into alignment so that you can move full speed ahead on whatever dream, big or small, you aspire to accomplish.

Other Formats: Paperback

Words That Work in Business, 2nd Edition: A Practical Guide to Effective Communication in the Workplace Apr 1, 2019

by Ike Lasater , Julie Stiles

( 10 )

$10.99

Addressing the most common workplace relationship challenges, this manual shows how to use the principles of nonviolent communication to improve any workplace atmosphere. Offering practical tools that match recognizable work scenarios, this guide can help all employees positively affect their work relationships and company culture, regardless of their position. This handbook displays proven communication skills for effectively handling difficult conversations, reducing workplace conflict and stress, improving individual and team productivity, having more effective meetings, and giving and receiving meaningful feedback, thereby creating a more enjoyable work environment.

Other Formats: Paperback

Choosing Peace: New Ways to Communicate to Reduce Stress, Create Connection, and Resolve Conflict (Mediate Your Life: A Guide to Removing Barriers to Communication Book 1) Sep 19, 2014

by Ike Lasater , John Kinyon , Julie Stiles , Mary Sitze

( 35 )

$9.95

What if you could feel calm and in control in the face of conflict?

In Choosing Peace, you will learn a new approach to communication and conflict that creates peace, internally and externally. The concrete tools and skills in this book allow you to be clear in your communication and help others do the same.

Through practicing what is in this compelling guidebook, you can build more satisfying and engaging relationships and create more compassion and peace in your life.

Read Choosing Peace to be able to:

* Understand how conflict can be a vehicle to connection

* Escape from endless replaying of stressful conversations

* Be kinder to yourself

* Gain acceptance for others

* Stop behaving in ways that do not get you what you want

* Learn a new set of skills to navigate sticky conflict situations

* Get a new perspective on recurring conflicts--and how to resolve them

* Recognize and shift out of fight-flight-freeze stress patterns

* Listen skillfully and non-judgmentally

* Deepen the quality of interaction with others

Written by authors with nearly 40 years combined experience in a Nonviolent Communication approach to mediation and conflict resolution, who have trained thousands of people worldwide to choose peace.

"It's like magic--so clear and simple and transformative."
-Mary Mackenzie, author, Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing and Compassion; Co-founder, NVC Academy; Executive Director, Peace Workshop, International; Certified NVC Trainer; Mediator

"Choosing Peace has great potential to transform your life."
-Valerie Rose Belanger, Managing Director, Yale World Fellows, Yale University

"I hope the whole world reads it."
-Larry Rosen, attorney-mediator and founder of Through Understanding

About Mediate Your Life

John Kinyon and Ike Lasater have been refining their distinct Mediate Your Life approach since 2003. Building on their decades of work with Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Nonviolent Communication, Mediate Your Life provides telecourses and workshops in countries around the world, helping people approach conflict as an opportunity and gain the skills and capacity to create true dialogue and new possibilities for connection. Together and individually they have mediated conflicts with couples, families, businesses, institutions, and legal contexts. Ike Lasater is a former trial attorney who co-founded a thriving San Francisco law firm. John Kinyon has a background in psychology and is a certified trainer with the international Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC).

Other Formats: Paperback

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