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About Jeff Strand
Jeff Strand is a four-time nominee (and zero-time winner, but c'mon, he lost to Stephen King TWICE!) of the Bram Stoker Award. He is a two-time nominee and one-time WINNER!!!! of the Splatterpunk Award.
His novels are usually classified as horror, but they're really all over the place, almost always with a great big dose of humor. He's written five young adult novels that all fall into the "really goofy comedy" category.
Several of his books are in development as motion pictures, and he's mostly not allowed to blab any details, which he finds MADDENING.
He lives in Chattanooga, Tennessee with his wife and one gigantic freaking cat.
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Though Darren Rust is serving a life sentence in prison, Alex Fletcher is desperate to escape the shadow of his former best friend. Darren is a psychopath who thought he’d found somebody who would kill with him, and when he realized he was wrong, he took everything from Alex. Losing his family—and coping with the heinous act Darren forced him to commit—is too much. Alex is unable to have a normal social life.
Until he meets Luna Booth.
She’s fun. Intelligent. Sexy. She’s exactly what he needs right now. Alex may not have found his soulmate, but he’s found somebody that he loves spending time with. Somebody who doesn’t mind the nightmarish skeletons in his closet.
In fact, she may be too understanding. Too interested. And she may have a very dark and twisted secret…
The perfect blend of horror and humor, I Have a Bad Feeling About This is a laugh-out-loud wilderness comedy about an ultimate survival camp that takes a deadly turn...
Wilderness Survival Tip #1
Drinking your own sweat will not save your life. Somebody might have told you that, but they were trying to find out if you'd really do it.
Wilderness Survival Tip #2
In case of an avalanche, don't despair. You're doomed, but that's a wicked cool death.
Wilderness Survival Tip #3
If you're relying on this book for actual survival tips, you're dead already.
Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors—but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp.
Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...Perfect for those looking for:
Also by Jeff Strand:
A Bad Day for Voo Doo
The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever
How You Ruined My Life
Stranger Things Have Happened
Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years…
They met first in boarding school at age twelve. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious. There was a sleazy strip club, you see, and every once in a while the back door opened just long enough to maybe catch a quick glimpse…
Though a bond was formed from their pre-pubescent interest in naked women, Darren had another interest. A morbid curiosity about death. A curiosity that turned into something much more sinister.
They crossed paths again in college and became the best of friends. But Darren wasn't just looking for a friend. He had dark, ghastly urges squirming around in his head, and he believed he saw the same things—the urge to hurt, the urge to kill—in Alex. He was looking for somebody who understood. A partner.
But Alex could never become a monster. Not even when Darren tried to bring out his friend's most deeply buried feelings of rage. Not even when Darren tried to show him the euphoria of having that much power over another human being. It just couldn't happen…right?
Now Alex has a wife and a daughter. And Darren is back. He's hiding. He's patient. His mind is twisted in the worst possible way.
And he's seeking a soulmate.
Uncomfortably Dark Presents...The Baker’s Dozen!
Delicious Dark Delights for your horror consumption!
Come indulge in the dark and disturbing with 13 tantalizing tales of terror written by an incredible lineup of independent horror authors. With stories ranging from delightful to disturbing, you are sure to find something to please your sweet spot.
Authors include Jeff Strand, Christine Morgan, Ruthann Jagge, Aron Beauregard, Lee Franklin, Chris Miller, Patrick C. Harrison, III, Carver Pike, Kenzie Jennings, Daniel Volpe, Rowland Bercy, Jr., Candace Nola and M. Ennenbach. Includes a special foreword by Jeff Strand.
Jason Tray is a successful cartoonist, banished to his agent’s lakeside cabin for a few days of mandatory rest and relaxation. One night, while hanging out with a couple of the locals at a dive bar, he takes them up on their offer to go “see Blister,” having no idea what they’re talking about.
He peeks through the window at the most nightmarish thing he’s ever seen.
In the morning, he wakes up, hung over and regretful. He’s better than this. He needs to…apologize?
From the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of PRESSURE, DWELLER, and WOLF HUNT comes a tale of fiendish secrets, ghastly crimes, and human monsters.
"Impossible to put down, rich with character and humor, BLISTER explodes off the page.”
— Peter Adam Salomon, Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of All Those Broken Angels
A DYING MAN’S GREATEST TREASURE…
Mortimer Moorecook, retired Wall Street raider, avid collector, is losing his fight against cancer. With weeks to live, a package arrives at the door of his hillside mansion—an artifact he paid millions for…a hominoid skull with elongated teeth, discovered in a farmer’s field in the Romanian countryside. With Shanna, his beautiful research assistant looking on, he sinks the skull’s razor sharp fangs into his neck, and immediately goes into convulsions.
OPENS THE DOOR TO AN ANCIENT EVIL...
A rural hospital. A slow night in the ER. Until Moorecook arrives strapped to a gurney, where he promptly codes and dies.
WHERE DEATH IS JUST THE BEGINNING.
Four well-known horror authors pool their penchants for scares and thrills, and tackle one of the greatest of all legends, with each writer creating a unique character and following them through a vampire outbreak in a secluded hospital.
The goal was simple: write the most intense novel they possibly could.
Which they did.
A Word of Warning:
Within these pages, you will find no black capes, no satin-lined coffins, no brooding heartthrobs who want to talk about your feelings. Forget sunlight and stakes. Throw out your garlic and your crosses. This is the Anti-TWILIGHT.
NOTE: DRACULAS is a full length novel, 80,000 words long. But this ebook is also brimming with an additional 80,000 words of extras and bonuses:
- a clickable table of contents
- a round-robin interview with Strand, Wilson, Crouch, and Kilborn about writing DRACULAS
- deleted scenes
- two alternate endings
- four excerpts from the authors’ other works
- the short story “Serial” by Crouch and Kilborn
- the short story “Cub Scout Gore Feast” by Kilborn and Strand
- the short story “A Sound of Blunder” by Kilborn and Wilson
- author biographies
- comprehensive clickable bibliographies
- an exclusive, behind-the-scenes look at the writing of DRACULAS, delivered through a collection of over seven hundred emails between the writers as they were brainstorming and writing the book
About the Authors:
F. PAUL WILSON is an award-winning, NY Times bestselling novelist whose work spans horror, adventure, medical thrillers, science fiction, young adult, and virtually everything between. He is best known as the author of THE KEEP and creator of the urban mercenary Repairman Jack.
J.A. KONRATH has sold over three million books worldwide. He's known for the Jack Daniels Thriller series and the Konrath Dark Thriller collective.
JEFF STRAND is the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of such novels as PRESSURE, DWELLER, GRAVEROBBERS WANTED (NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY), BENJAMIN'S PARASITE, and THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE. His secret shame is SUCKERS, co-written with J.A. Konrath.
BLAKE CROUCH is the author of four thrillers, DESERT PLACES, LOCKED DOORS, ABANDON, and SNOWBOUND, all published by St. Martin’s Press. His short fiction
Years later, Toby finds comfort with the creature. It's his own special secret--something that nobody else in the world knows about. Somebody to talk to. Somebody to confide in. Sure, Toby has concerns about his own sanity, but really, what boy wouldn't want to be best friends with a monster in the woods, especially if he's being tormented by bullies? The creature, who he names Owen, may be the answer to his problems...
From Jeff Strand, the author of PRESSURE, comes the story of a macabre, decades-long friendship. A relationship that will last their entire lives, through times of happiness, tragedy, love, loss, madness, and complete darkness.
DWELLER. The lifetime story of a boy and his monster.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour!
Sit back and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature’s most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you’ll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.
Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn’t even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws—you’ll see them all!
Not thrilling enough? Well, it’s Halloween, and so we’re offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you’re guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100% safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever.
“[An] absolute gem of a read…What comes next is over two hundred pages of non stop, in your face, gore drenched action…You will be exhausted by the time you reach the satisfying last page…Think Jurassic Park with bloodthirsty demons on an adrenaline rush and you have The Haunted Forest Tour.”
“James A. Moore and Jeff Strand are a literary dream team. Devout readers of the genre are in for a real treat as these two horror heavyweights combine forces and battle their characters to the bloody death…Remember how it felt to inventory and consume your candy on Halloween night? That’s the atmosphere in the forest. You feel like a glutton, like you couldn’t possibly stomach one more gooey demise, but you turn the page and unwrap another nightmare anyway.”
“Moore and Strand heap scares upon plot twists in one of the freshest and most entertaining novels in recent years. The authors offer a frightening and high-octane tale, presented as an apocalyptic disaster movie.”
When he finally works up the nerve to ask Abigail out on a date, after buying flowers from her every day for the past three months, he's sure she'll say no. Maybe she'll even recoil or spit in his face. But she accepts his invitation.
He's sure it must be a cruel prank. It's not. These two kind-hearted but weird souls have found each other, and Frank thinks his life is about to change for the better.
But this is not a love story.
This is a tale of revenge and madness.
From the author of PRESSURE, BLISTER, and SICK HOUSE comes Jeff Strand's darkest novel yet.
"BRING HER BACK is like a Jack Ketchum novel packed with dark humor." – Michael McBride, author of SUBHUMAN
Curtis saw it happen. He knows exactly who did it.
But he can't prove that it was his neighbor Gerald Martin. The authorities find no evidence of the crime. There's nothing they can do.
So he's going to confront Mr. Martin himself.
And this is just the beginning of the terrifying story…
From the author of PRESSURE and MY PRETTIES comes a nerve-wracking coming-of-age thriller.
Reader reviews for AUTUMN BLEEDS INTO WINTER:
"Screw this guy, seriously. How does he consistently put out book after book of awesomeness?"
"Perfectly paced, with so many anxious moments and heart pounding twists. Also, the usual amount of hilarious lines to help keep your blood pressure from redlining. Highly recommended!"
"I don’t know how he does it. I really don’t. But somehow, Jeff Strand seemingly effortlessly produces these amazingly varied, brilliantly executed, poignant, scary as hell books."
"The perfect blend of humor and suspense."
"A coming-of-age tale that would make Stephen King jealous."
"This is one of the best coming of age stories that I have read in years."
"Great read, absolutely packed with intensity. It just ramps up and up until the end."
"The pacing, humor and strong characters are classic Strand."
Evan Portin is at a sad, scary place in his life. While taking a long walk to compose himself and figure out where to go from here, he encounters a young woman being mugged in a park.
When he tries to intervene, he discovers that she doesn't need his help. At all.
Her name is Harriett. She is very, very good at defending herself. Everything she owns is in a large backpack. She's never seen a cell phone. She's never been in a car. She's never really ventured into the outside world.
And she says she's traveling across the country to slay a Cyclops.
She's crazy, right? Evan is not in the habit of hanging out with delusional women he's just met. On the other hand, it can't hurt to offer her a ride out of town. And maybe this insane journey is exactly what he needs...
"Jeff Strand is a masterful storyteller. His writing is always fresh, compelling, funny, frightening, and inventive.” –Jonathan Maberry, New York Times best-selling author of Patient Zero, Rot & Ruin and Mars One.
When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key…a key buried with a body in a shallow grave.
But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die. Andrew finds himself investigating a murder while forced into a bizarre game of wits and courage played by an unseen killer with a twisted sense of humor. It’s a game that will involve him with a group of filmmakers known as Ghoulish Delights, who are hiding a secret that will test every last bit of Andrew’s nerve to discover.
And it’s impossible to find a babysitter.
"No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." -- Cemetery Dance