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Adam Gustavson

Trudy Ludwig

Just Kidding Hardcover – Illustrated, April 1, 2006

by Trudy Ludwig (Author), Adam Gustavson (Illustrator)

153 ratings

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A rare look at emotional bullying among boys from the best-selling author of My Secret Bully.D.J.'s friend Vince has a habit of teasing D.J. and then saying, Just kidding!" as if it will make everything okay. It doesn't, but D.J. is afraid that if he protests, his friends will think he can't take a joke. With the help of his father, brother, and an understanding teacher, D.J. progresses from feeling helpless to taking positive action, undermining the power of two seemingly harmless words. Trudy Ludwig takes another look at relational aggression, the use of relationships to manipulate and hurt others, this time from the boy's point of view.

Back matter includes discussion questions, a "dos and don'ts of teasing" list, and a resource guide for parents and teachers.

Endorsed by Full Esteem Ahead, The Hands & Words Are Not For Hurting Project, and The Ophelia Project.

Reading age

7 - 11 years, from customers
Print length

32 pages
Language

English
Grade level

1 - 4
Dimensions

8.38 x 0.3 x 10.38 inches
Publisher

Tricycle Press
Publication date

April 1, 2006
ISBN-10

1582461635
ISBN-13

978-1582461632
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Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 1-5–This companion to My Secret Bully (Tricycle, 2005) addresses the topic of teasing. D.J. is tired of Vince's mean-spirited comments at school. Vince knows which buttons to push, using the I was just kidding defense when he goes too far. Unsure how to handle the situation, D.J. talks with his father and his teacher and learns a few strategies to help him deal with putdowns. Most importantly, he realizes that he isn't the problem and that he hasn't done anything to deserve Vince's taunts. This frank and plausible story will help youngsters to distinguish between good-natured teasing and the destructive variety, empowering them by providing options they can use when faced with bullying. Realistic acrylic paintings beautifully capture the text's mood and action. Gustavson is adept at revealing the subtle emotions of his characters, and both D.J. and Vince will strike a familiar chord with readers. A foreword by a bullying-prevention consultant outlines four points that educators and parents need to impart to victims of this behavior. Also provided are conversation starters for further discussion, a list of pertinent organizations and Web sites, and suggested reading for both adults and children. This useful resource is an important addition to school and public libraries.–Carol L. MacKay, Forestburg School Library, Alberta, Canada
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

K-Gr. 3. Waiting to be chosen for a pickup game of basketball, D. J. hears Vince challenge Cody to a game of Rock Paper Scissors: "Loser gets D. J." It's not the first time Vince has crossed the line, but D. J. can't figure out how to respond. With a helpful suggestion from his dad and support from a teacher, D. J. begins to handle his problem. The story offers a realistic portrayal of a bully who uses words in hurtful ways but avoids punishment. It also offers hope that children can break the pattern, at least if the adults around them are aware of the problem, competent to deal with it, and supportive of the children involved. The book concludes with a list of "Teasing Dos and Don'ts" for kids. In addition, a detailed foreword offers suggestions to parents and teachers trying to help children in this situation. The well-composed illustrations, apparently acrylic paintings, offer sensitive portrayals of children in realistic settings. Pair this with Becky Ray McCain's Nobody Knew What to Do (2001). Carolyn Phelan
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review

"'Just Kidding' explores the world of teasing, exclusion, and self-esteem in a thoughtful, poignant manner." -- Steve Seskin, best-selling author of DON'T LAUGH AT ME

"'Just Kidding' is a terrific tool for any classroom and for our own organization." -- Ann S. Kelly, Director, HANDS & WORDS ARE NOT FOR HURTING PROJECT

"This is a wonderful book for individual kids as well as for entire classes." -- Lisa Sloan, Executive Director, FULL ESTEEM AHEAD

"Trudy Ludwig has not only captured the heart of boy taunting, but also the best solutions." -- Susan Wellman, Founder, THE OPHELIA PROJECT

From the Publisher

A rare look at emotional bullying among boys from the best-selling author of My Secret Bully.
Back matter includes discussion questions, a "dos and donts of teasing" list, and a resource guide for parents and teachers.
Endorsed by Full Esteem Ahead, The Hands & Words Are Not For Hurting Project, and The Ophelia Project.

About the Author

TRUDY LUDWIG is a nationally acclaimed speaker and an award-winning author who specializes in writing children's books that help kids cope with and thrive in their social world, including The Invisible Boy and My Secret Bully. She has received rave reviews from educators, experts, organizations, and parents at schools and conferences around the US for her passion and compassion in addressing peer aggression and friendship issues. An active member of the International Bullying Prevention Association, Trudy also collaborates with organizations like the Committee for Children and ConnectSafely.org, and has served as content advisor for Sesame Street Workshop. Trudy's books have won the Mom's Choice Gold Award, the IBPA Gold Benjamin Franklin Award, and the NAPPA Gold Medal, and also been recognized as NCSS-CBC Notable Social Studies Books for Young People.

ADAM GUSTAVSON is an illustrator who lives in West Orange, New Jersey, with his family. This is his second book with Tricycle Press.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Tricycle Press (April 1, 2006)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 32 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1582461635
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1582461632
Reading age ‏ : ‎ 6 - 9 years
Grade level ‏ : ‎ 1 - 4
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.2 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 8.38 x 0.3 x 10.38 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #36,115 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #121 in Children's Books on Bullying
- #160 in Children's Books on Boys' & Men's Issues
- #1,270 in Children's Friendship Books

Customer Reviews:
153 ratings

About the authors

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Adam Gustavson
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Adam Gustavson is the author and illustrator of the critically acclaimed picture book, The Froggies Do Not Want To Sleep (2021, Charlesbridge). His artwork has appeared in over thirty books for children, as well as magazines, public murals, and galleries.
He serves as an adjunct professor at both the Fashion Institute of Technology, in New York, and Rowan University, in Glassboro, NJ. Since 2014, he has co-owned the Renaissance Art Studio in Millburn, NJ, with his wife (and manager) Denise, offering individual art lessons in a variety of media.
He lives, paints, teaches, writes, and plays several musical instruments in New Jersey, with his wonderfully quirky family and their neurotic poodle.
See more on the author's page
Trudy Ludwig
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Trudy Ludwig
Making a Difference in Kids' Lives, One Book at a Time(R)
Trudy Ludwig is an acclaimed speaker and award-winning author of numerous children’s books including THE INVISIBLE BOY, a School Library Journal Best Picture Books Selection and a recommended back-to-school book by USA Today and Scholastic Instructor. Her books and presentations help empower children to be kinder and more inclusive in their social world. Trudy has collaborated with leading experts and organizations including Sesame Workshop, International Bullying Prevention Association, Committee for Children, and ConnectSafely.org. She has received rave reviews from educators, experts, organizations, and parents for her passion and compassion in addressing peer aggression and friendship issues.
Trudy’s books have received numerous awards and citations including the M. Jerry Weiss Book Award, Victoria Soto Legacy Award, IBPA Gold Benjamin Franklin Award, Gelett Burgess Children’s Book Award, NAPPA Gold Medal Award, Mom’s Choice Gold Awards, Moonbeam Children’s Books Gold Award, Comstock Read Aloud Honors and are included in the Cooperative Children’s Book Center’s Best of the Year Selection, NCSS-CBC Notable Social Studies Books for Young People Selections, National Crime Prevention Council’s Circle of Respect Book Club Selection, Junior Library Guild Selection, and more.
"Because the social world of today's children is very complex and difficult to navigate, I try to include in my stories the wisdom and insights of young readers so that my books resonate with the authenticity of their life experiences and views," she says. "I also have the added pleasure of tapping into my own inner child--letting her laugh, cry, and simply breathe."
For more information about Trudy, her books, virtual and in-person school visits, conference keynotes, and workshop presentations, please visit www.trudyludwig.com.
See more on the author's page

Customer reviews

5 star		81%
4 star		10%
3 star		6%
2 star		1%
1 star		2%

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Top reviews from the United States

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LovelyLavinia

Not a good book

Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2019

Verified Purchase

This book didn’t offer any useful solutions on how to stop this type of bullying from happening besides telling an adult.

There is always some level of truth to “just kidding” type of bullying. It’s passive/aggressive. For example: if someone is wearing a shirt that makes them look fat, a “friend” might say, “Wow, are you wearing your little brother’s shirt? I’m just kidding.” This bully thinks the rude comment isn’t really hurtful because she added “just kidding” after the comment. So if the person says, “Hey that was kinda rude” the bully responds with something like, “geez, can’t you take a joke.” Making the person feel like they are the problem.

I was hoping for a better solution to this kind of behavior and even an explanation why bullies use this kind of tactic.

4 people found this helpful

Helpful

Kerstin

... of corny and there's no subtlety to it-but a great help when the issue of mean teasing presents itself

Reviewed in the United States on November 17, 2015

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This is not the loveliest story-it's kind of corny and there's no subtlety to it-but a great help when the issue of mean teasing presents itself. I read this story, and I believe that it was heard-really heard-by everyone, perpetrators included. We had a good discussion afterward. I like the "Teasing Dos and Don'ts" in the back of the book, which really lay out in very clear language what is acceptable in the realm of teasing, and what isn't. Some examples: "Accept teasing from others if you tease." "Be careful of others' feelings." "Don't tease about a person's body." I bought it for the message and the discussion I knew we'd have about it, not necessarily for its writing. It got good reviews from others. I think it was a worthwhile purchase, and good to have in our collection.

5 people found this helpful

Helpful

Maureen Caryl

Great for school counseling programs

Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2007

Verified Purchase

I read Just Kidding to fifth grade students as part of a unit on bullying and the connections made by students were amazing. The more ways that student hear - "You don't have to suffer from bullying" - the more we will be able to impact the devastation caused by bullying and cruelty. Like Trudy's first book, My Secret Bully, this book presents the idea that bullying can happen within friendships, not just by an unknown thug. Kids have the hardest time knowing what to do about bullying when the offender is someone they like and wish to have as a friend. Just Kidding offers excellent suggestions - from using humor, finding strength in numbers, and getting support from school staff. This is a must-have book for counselors, teachers, and parents of tweens.

11 people found this helpful

Helpful

Sandra McLeod Humphrey

Great Teaching Tool!

Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2006

Verified Purchase

This is a great book for both the home and the classroom. The story itself is realistic and poignant and makes the distinction between "tattling" and "reporting." When D.J. is teased unmercifully by Vince, D.J.'s life becomes miserable and he begins to feel like a "loser." Fortunately, he finds support from both his family and his teacher, and they help him develop some coping skills which not only enable him to deal constructively with the bully but also enable him to support his friends when they are the objects of the bully's attacks. The Foreward by Stan Davis, founder of [...] provides a valuable overview of the issue of bullying as well as suggestions about how to help family members deal with the problem. This is a valuable resource for both the home and the classroom. Highly Recommended!

56 people found this helpful

Helpful

Mom from Connecticut

Nails It

Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2018

Verified Purchase

In this age of arrogance I love this book and my favorite by the same author is "SORRY!" they are spot on with helping children make sense of peers unhealthy putdowns and power moves. A good way to help children navigate the increasingly complex and tricky world of peer connections.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

drudah

Good read aloud for class meeting and discussion

Reviewed in the United States on June 17, 2012

Verified Purchase

All the books by this author on the subject of bullying are a must have in elementary school classrooms and libraries. Elementary aged children can't always express their feelings about how others are treating them or their friends. This book uses real life situations that children can understand and perhaps even identify with. Perhaps the catalyst to solving a very serious issue in schools today.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Revswife

Great Moral

Reviewed in the United States on November 1, 2018

Verified Purchase

Great moral to this story however I wish they wouldn’t have used words like “jerks”, “stupid”, etc. I had to skip over these words or replace them when reading to my second graders.

Helpful

Robert Cabrera

A Trudy Ludwig winner

Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2013

Verified Purchase

This book highlights a problem often experienced by children. Hidden insults. Ms. Ludwig presents the issue from many sides and offers possible solutions and even causes for such behavior. I use this book with students to open conversations about how to treat others, and realizing the impact of the spoken word.

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

Strawberry

"Can't you take a joke? I was just kidding!"

Reviewed in Canada on July 2, 2014

Verified Purchase

I have found it difficult to find good books regarding bullying. This is one of the good ones.

This book tackles the problem of telling the difference between good natured and malicious teasing,
which is difficult to tell as a child. "What's the problem? I was just kidding" might sound familiar if you
have experienced this before.

This type of teasing does not go away by "standing up" for yourself and it requires attentive adults as illustrated
in the book. The main character's dad tries to teach him to deflect the bullying, but it ends up not working
(which is closer to real life) so they end up going to the principal and the bully ends up in counseling.

In a happy ending, the main character does NOT become friends again with the bully, but chooses to make friends
with kids who are positive and like him for who he is.

I would recommend this book for children who are experiencing this particular type of bullying to help them
understand what type of teasing is okay and which is not, and what to do if you are being teased in a mean way.
I would also recommend this book for the parents of children who are being teased-
it's too often that we forget what it's like to be a child and how helpless we feel and that we are "tattling" instead of
trying to help ourselves. Parents can't dismiss their child because bullying is something that can cause lifelong
damage and children are not equipped to know how to deal with it, and not everyone experiences it the same way.

Rachael

Three Stars

Reviewed in Canada on April 18, 2018

Verified Purchase

Good resource for classrooms, not as good as some of her other books

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