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About Karen Alpert
Karen is the ridiculously hairy, self-deprecating writer of the popular blog Baby Sideburns. You may have seen a few of her more viral posts like "What NOT to F'ing buy my kids this holiday" and "Caillou sucks so bad, here's another blog about why I hate him." She spent fifteen years working for national advertising agencies until she was promoted to her newest favorite job— Mommy. She lives with her two amazing kiddos and a very forgiving husband who is kind enough not to call her Cousin It when she undresses for bed every night.
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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER!!
Motherhood is the toughest – and funniest – job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand.
Hasn't every mother said it before? “I just want to pee alone!”
I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web.
- Jen Mann of People I Want to Punch in the Throat™
- Insane in the Mom-Brain
- The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
- Baby Sideburns
- Rants From Mommyland.
Read hysterical essays like:
- Embarrassment, Thy Name is Motherhood
- A Pinterest-Perfect Mom, I am Not
- And Then There was that Time a Priest Called Me a Terrible Mother
- So She Thought She Could Cut Off My Stroller
This is the book that kicked off the New York Times bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series of books. Collect the entire series!
From the creator of Baby Sideburns and I Heart My Little A-Holes (and the creator of two kids who once were little a-holes but are slowly turning into awesome human beings), Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes is a hilariously honest parenting guide written by a regular mom who doesn’t always know WTF she’s doing. Just like you.
Featuring side-splittingly funny pictures, stories, and chapters like:
- You Are Not Your Kiddo's Servant
- Picasso's Mom Didn't Tell Him to Draw the Eyes in the Right Place
- Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Cost Thousands in Therapy
- If They Say "I Hate You," Then You're Probably Doing It Right
*not a guarantee
Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog.
Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole.
When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing.
In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child.
If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book.
But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book.
I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.
Parla delle uscite di famiglia – ah ah, provate voi a viaggiare in aereo da sole con due bambini in età prescolare – e di cosa succede quando sono a spasso e la grande urla che le scappa la pipì mentre il piccolo va cambiato in un’orrida latrina pubblica. Ma parla anche del proprio corpo, con grande ironia, e delle tracce non del tutto gradite che due gravidanze a breve distanza le hanno lasciato. Manda a quel paese le famose tappe evolutive dei manuali, che fanno andare in paranoia tutti i genitori, e dà validi consigli sugli aggeggi inclusi nelle liste nascita di cui nessuno MAI avrà bisogno.
Così, tra buffi elenchi, battute salaci e racconti “epici”, Karen vi rinfrancherà, mamme, e vi strapperà ben più di un sorriso.