Anyone could take the premise of this story and make a decent film out of it - anyone except director Chris Hall, apparently. I really don't know what to make of Lucky 13; it's a romantic comedy with very little romance or comedy. It plods along, basically emotionless and lethargic, meandering all over the place like a distracted child. You wait for the ending, sure that you'll finally find a payoff for all the torturous buildup. Nope - just more frustration. Maybe it's just me, but the ending of this film doesn't even make sense. If there's a point to all this, it must be about as sharp as a plastic knife.
Zach Baker (Brad Hunt) is a loser from a dysfunctional family. All of his life, the girl-next-door has been Abbey (Gilmore Girls' Lauren Graham), and Zach seems perfectly content hanging out with her and his best buddy Bleckman (Harland Williams) - until Abbey announces that she is going to New York to pursue her art (in the company of a ridiculously transparent "artist"). Zach has only three days to try and convince Abbey to stay. Bleckman, one of the most pathetic characters I've seen in a long time, and Zach's family tell him Abbey's out of his league (who isn't?), but Zach's determined to try. The plan he comes up with is to talk to his former girlfriends to find out his shortcomings in the dating department. How this guy has ever had twelve girlfriends, I will never know. They're some strange ones, though, that's for sure. For some reason, none of the girls tells him that the Greatest American Hero called and wants his hair back, but Zach finally does something about the old mop in preparation for his big date on the eve of Abbey's departure - unfortunately, he goes from bad to worse by choosing an Owen Wilson 'do.
Why am I even telling you anything that happens? None of it is interesting or particularly amusing, and - not to belabor the fact or anything - the ending stinks like an outhouse in July. What else didn't I like about Lucky 13? Well, I can't forget the music - certainly not the one annoying song that seemed to be played over and over again. Then, there's the R rating thing. Two short yet racy scenes at the very beginning plus a moderate supply of adult language earned this movie an R rating. Despite the rating, Lucky 13 is really all about sappy PG-13 dialogue. This movie is hurting for an audience in any case, and the director needlessly turned some viewers away with a completely unnecessary R rating.
The only thing this movie has going for it is Lauren Graham, but her character doesn't get all that much time on the screen. The script is a total dud. I couldn't even figure out if Zach had always secretly loved Abbey or if he only fell in love with her when he heard she was leaving. There's just no depth to these characters whatsoever. File Lucky 13 under M for major disappointment.