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About Lundy Bancroft
Lundy Bancroft has spent the last thirty years of his career specializing in abuse, trauma, and recovery. He is the author of Why Does He Do That?, the largest-selling book in history on domestic violence, and his professional book The Batterer as Parent won the 2005 literary award from the North American Resource Center for Child Welfare. His latest book, The Joyous Recovery, is his first for a general audience, gathering into one volume his 30 years of experience and wisdom regarding emotional healing. Lundy was a counselor for abusive men for over a decade, and then devoted himself to taking what he had learned from that experience and sharing it with abused women, and with the friends, family, and professionals who assist them. Lundy is the creator of the Peak Living Network, a free support system for anyone healing from emotional wounds -- in other words, for everyone. You can learn more about the network at PeakLivingNetwork.org.
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He says he loves you. So...why does he do that?
You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about:
• The early warning signs of abuse
• The nature of abusive thinking
• Myths about abusers
• Ten abusive personality types
• The role of drugs and alcohol
• What you can fix, and what you can’t
• And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely
“This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health
Every relationship has problems, but you can’t figure out if yours is beyond hope. How bad is too bad—and can your partner really change? Now, in this warm, supportive, and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft and women’s advocate JAC Patrissi offer a way for you to practically and realistically take stock of your relationship and move forward.
If you’re involved in a chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationship, the advice and exercises in this book will help you learn to:
• Tell the difference between a healthy—yet difficult—relationship and one that is really not working
• Recognize the signs that your partner has serious problems
• Stop waiting to see what will happen—and make your own growth the top priority
• Design a clear plan of action for you and your partner
• Navigate the waters of a relationship that’s improving
• Prepare for life without your partner, even as you keep trying to make life work with them
* why fighting to improve your attitudes and outlook never works for long
* why your healing is not all up to you, and why "self-help" so often fails
* why you sometimes start to feel worse when your life starts to go better
* why we're avoiding the paths to healing that actually work the best
* why, even in our times, we still don't talk about the most important issues
Analyzing our difficulties is much easier than finding our way to deep healing. So The Joyous Recovery spends just one chapter looking at what's gone wrong, and devotes the other nineteen to explaining what to do about it.
Here's just a quick look at what you'll learn:
* how to form an effective healing partnership, the game-changer for healing
* how to understand the cyclical nature of successful healing, and how to get those cycles turning
* how to understand your body's natural plan to keep you emotionally well -- you have an emotional immune system, not just a physical one -- and how to work with it to propel your recovery
* how to harness the power of opposites, bringing parts of ourselves together that we thought had to be at war with each other
* how to draw upon the exciting power of the Peak Living Network, a peer-led healing support system that costs nothing to participate in
* how to make healing a joyful and transforming experience, instead of having it feel like lots of hard work for small gains
The Joyous Recovery is an approach to emotional healing unlike anything you've encountered before. And it works.
Lundy Bancroft is the creator of the Peak Living Network. He has spe¬cialized in abuse and recovery for the past 30 years, including over 10 years leading weekend healing retreats. His book Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men is the largest-selling book in history on domestic violence, with over 300,000 copies in print. Lundy has written four other books and two plays, including the book When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Kids Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse and the play Forbidden to Protect. He is an avid baseball and hockey player, rock climber, and activist.
Even if you’ve read Why Does He Do That?, it may be hard to see the truth of what is happening to you. You may feel overwhelmed by confusion, loss, and fear, and find yourself looking away from the truth and falling back into traumatic patterns.
What you need is something that is there for you every day—to help you make a long series of little changes that will ultimately add up to a big one.
Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It is a tool you can use to learn how to value and respect yourself—even when your partner makes it very clear that he does not.
With seven themes designed to encourage and inspire, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? will help you digest what is happening one day at a time, so that you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
You will see the truth in your destructive relationship.
You and your children will survive.
And—with these encouragements—even tomorrow will be a better day than today.
IN THE MIDST OF A BITTER CUSTODY BATTLE
Kelly Harbison blasts into an Ohio police station and announces that his ex-wife has kidnapped his ten-year old daughter. The police don’t take him seriously, but three days later mother and child are still missing.
Carrie Green, newly out of junior college, works as a low-paid intern for a small struggling newspaper. Her editor is sick of local disappearances that never amount to anything, so he figures he’ll dump the story on his young intern.
But Carrie astounds her editor by developing an inexplicable rapport with the missing girl’s father, an abrasive and demanding man nobody else can stand. Even harder to explain is her mysterious access to information that law enforcement hasn’t released to the public – or doesn’t even know about.
And rather than being the typical trivial missing persons story, resolved in a day or two, the case becomes the biggest local event in a decade. Almost from the beginning police are struggling with oddly contradictory evidence; they find clear signs that the missing duo left by choice, colliding with equally strong indications that they’ve been kidnapped.
To make the picture still murkier, the missing girl keeps appearing, then slipping away again before police can help her. Or is it really her at all? And where’s her mom?
The police resent this gum-chewing punk reporter who somehow is able to find out things that they can’t. But much as they dislike her – and the whole neighborhood she comes from -- they also start to realize they might need her uncanny access to the inside story.
As evidence mounts that dangerous people are involved, Carrie decides to take big risks -- and ropes her boyfriend into joining her – to find out what has happened to the missing girl.
And she starts to realize she’s been believing the wrong people the whole time.
Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?
Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it’s physical or “just” emotional abuse, whether it’s aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:
• Protect children and help them heal emotionally
• Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse
• Increase their chances of winning custody
• Help their kids feel good about themselves
“A must-read for every mother who has been abused...it offers the knowledge women need to protect their children and help them heal.”—William S. Pollack, Ph.D., author of the national bestseller Real Boys
- die Frühwarnzeichen
- zehn misshandelnde Persönlichkeitstypen
- welche Rolle Drogen und Alkohol spielen
- was Sie als Betroffene ändern können und was nicht
- wie Sie sich sicher aus der Gewaltbeziehung befreien
- Dieses Buch enthält wertvolle Informationen für Betroffene sowie hilfreiche Tipps für Außenstehende wie Freunde und Angehörige, um Misshandlung, Missbrauch und häusliche Gewalt zu stoppen.
"Die meisten Bücher über Misshandlung in Beziehungen konzentrieren sich auf Frauen – wie sie verletzt werden, warum sie bleiben. So wichtig diese Fragen auch sind, sie können uns vom Kern des Problems ablenken. Bancroft stellt mutig die wichtigsten Fragen von allen – und beantwortet sie brillant: Warum misshandeln so viele Männer Frauen? Was kann man dagegen tun?" — Jackson Katz