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Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by [Esther Perel]
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Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Kindle Edition

4.6 out of 5 stars 1,043 ratings

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Well argued points written with considerable eloquence.”

From Publishers Weekly

Developed originally from an article she wrote on "erotic intelligence," psychotherapist Perel's first book sets forth a thesis for today's couples that is as revelatory as it is straightforward. Languishing desire in a relationship actually results from all the factors people look for in love and marriage: grounding, meaning, continuity. Partnerships are supposed to provide "a bulwark against the vicissitudes of modern life," Perel notes, and in one person we turn for all the emotional connections that the greater society (church, community, family) can no longer provide. Habit and certainty kill desire, yet how to live comfortably with the elements of unpredictability and risk that are necessary for healthy eroticism? Perel supports her nicely accessible work with case studies of couples both heterosexual and gay, spanning all ages, with kids and without, in an attempt to cure what ails their sex life. Some of the proposals Perel recommends for rekindling eroticism involve cultivating separateness (e.g., autonomy) in a relationship rather than closeness (entrapment); exploring dynamics of power and control (i.e., submission, spanking); and learning to surrender to a "sexual ruthlessness" that liberates us from shame and guilt. In short, Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience. (Sept.)
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4.6 out of 5 stars
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1,043 customer ratings
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Brian Richards
4.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommend
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 12, 2018
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Jenjen
5.0 out of 5 stars One of those ‘everyone should read this’ kind of books
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 22, 2018
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5.0 out of 5 stars Engaging, fascinating book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 20, 2017
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4.0 out of 5 stars An important and enjoyable perspective on passion
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 7, 2019
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Bianca Simion
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome book!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 3, 2018
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5.0 out of 5 stars Psychology
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 14, 2018
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5.0 out of 5 stars Very important messages
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 31, 2018
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Mrs R Brooke
5.0 out of 5 stars Riveting reading turning accepted wisdom on its' head
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 1, 2018
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Steve J
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, so well written!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 12, 2017
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F. M. Soole
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful and profound
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 9, 2016
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4.0 out of 5 stars Spice up your life...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 12, 2019
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Mrs. Helen Thomas
5.0 out of 5 stars This book beautifully explains how we are programmed to value safety and ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 5, 2014
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4.0 out of 5 stars Well worth a read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 31, 2017
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2.0 out of 5 stars do not recommend
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 3, 2019
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4.0 out of 5 stars Good
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 24, 2019
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