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Blog postI recently returned from one of those glorious, soul-nourishing visits with friends at a rustic Maine lake retreat. There were ten of us, including a potter, baker, furniture maker, history professor, math genius, and a cat named Smitty. I’m guessing that our free-ranging dinner conversation was typical of the sort you’d hear among such people in similar settings: Many salient and non-valid points were made on various topics of local and global interest, friendly disagreements erupted and, al7 years ago Read more
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Blog postDo you know where your favorite lipstick is? For the first time in years I can say with utter confidence that mine is exactly where I last put it. Now that my nest is newly emptied, no teenager has just swiped it and then left it in her purse/friend’s car/friend-of-a-friend’s car/Bonnaroo tent/ her Dad’s house/the bathroom of a Boeing 737. I miss my college kids terribly. But it makes me feel better to celebrate the little ways that life is easier without them underfoot.
1. I no7 years ago Read more -
Blog postThe night before my firstborn left for his freshman year of college he strolled into the kitchen with his mp3 player blasting — one earbud was tucked into his left ear and the other was wedged in his bellybutton. I gave him the requisite maternal smile and eye roll, but felt a pang — his goofy boy humor would no longer be part of my everyday life. Sure, he’d be back — but not for good. The next week I commiserated over lunch with my friend Kumi, whose son had also just left. Both of us had ma7 years ago Read more
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Blog post“Don’t freak out but I’m getting my bellybutton pierced after work. Just letting you know.”
That’s the text my 18-year-old daughter sent me from her summer job at a frozen yogurt shop, while I was in our living room, aka: College-Packing Central. I read her message while surrounded by heaps of laundry, half-filled duffel bags and the move-in information packet from the university whose dorm she and her mountain of stuff would somehow be squeezing into the following week.
When7 years ago Read more -
Blog postMy daughter’s elegant e-bay-purchased prom dress hangs in her bedroom. On Facebook, other moms are posting pics of their high school seniors wearing big smiles and Tshirts announcing their college choices. My gmail box is filled with notices from the high school urging me to buy ribbons, sunglasses and seat cushions to “help support the class of 2013” or to remember important dates: the Prom, the Vocal Concert, the Awards Program, Commencement. But my favorite email is the one that’s al8 years ago Read more
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Blog postWhen a new mother feels her partner agrees on how to raise their baby, not only the child benefits–she does, too. That’s the big takeaway from the latest study to come out of Kent State’s ongoing “Baby Transitions in Marital Exchanges” research (aka Baby T.I.M.E.). In the latest work, doctoral candidate Brian Don and other researchers interviewed 77 mostly middle-class and married heterosexual couples twice, at four and nine months after the birth of their first baby. Women who initiall8 years ago Read more
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Blog post5/1/13
“You are my function designs. Thanks for your pos”t–quiznet
4/30/13
“Will be last a long time when ever any friend is convinced as well as a small superiority along the all the other.”–casquette obey
4/28/13
“The next time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as significantly as this one. I mean, I know it was my option to read, but I basically thought youd have something intriguing to say. All I hear is often a bunch of whining a8 years ago Read more -
Blog postI have a 19 year old son. If you took a random survey of his friends I don’t think they would describe him much differently from the character sketch offered by the shocked friends of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, who, as I write this, is the subject of a massive manhunt in a shut-down Boston. Those who know Dzhokhar paint him as friendly, well-adjusted, laid-back, sociable, smart, a good student. And all the while, he and his brother were allegedly planning mass murder. His mother insists that the poli8 years ago Read more
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Blog postNew research on babies’ brain patterns during sleep adds to the evidence that parents who argue frequently are stressing out their infants. Plenty of research has already indicated that extremely stressful experiences in early life, such as physical abuse or being raised in an institution, affect how the brain processes information. This new study of 20 babies suggests that the more “moderate” stress of having parents who engage in frequent verbal arguments may similarly influence how a baby’8 years ago Read more
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Blog postDo good wives make bad mothers? How’s that for a loaded question! In 2013, what qualities make a woman a “good wife” or a “good mother” anyway?
The opposite question, “do good moms make bad wives?” was debated a while back on the Huff Post divorce page where Jackie Morgan MacDougall argued that those perfect moms–with their talent for all things craftsy and their trigger-happy willingness to volunteer at school–are not showing the love to their husbands. (How she knows thi8 years ago Read more
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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else.
Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
In this insightful book, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love and shares the results of his famous “Love Lab”: Where does love come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade? And how can we keep it alive? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate a fraying relationship and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken.
This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage.
You'll also learn that more sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage, frequent arguing will not lead to divorce, financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship, wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years and there is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments—and there's a way around it.
Dr. Gottman teaches you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage—contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and—Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.
Una guía absolutamente imprescindible para todas aquellas personas que quieren recuperar o fortalecer una pareja en crisis o, simplemente, monótona.
El doctor Gottman ha revolucionado la concepción de la pareja tras realizar una investigación científica sin precedentes: durante varios años ha estudiado los hábitos de los matrimonios en su «laboratorio del amor» y ha obtenido un éxito del 91% en sus predicciones sobre el futuro de las parejas.
Este libro es la culminación de su trabajo, que se resume en siete reglas de oro para recuperar o fortalecer una pareja en crisis. Estas reglas enseñan, mediante ejercicios y cuestionamientos, nuevas y sorprendentes técnicas para el buen funcionamiento de la pareja, prestando especial atención a los pequeños momentos cotidianos que constituyen el alma de cualquier relación.
Reseñas:
«Una guía eminentemente práctica para disfrutar de un matrimonio emocionalmente inteligente. Y duradero.»
Daniel Goleman, autor de Inteligencia emocional
«Gottman encara esta temática con las mejores referencias: tiene el espíritu de un científico y el alma de un romántico.»
Newsweek
«Veinticinco años de investigación matrimonial de primera.»
USA Today
Die neuesten Forschungsergebnisse des Paartherapeuten John Gottman aus seinem legendären "Love Lab" zeigen: Vertrauen ist das A und O jeder Paarbeziehung, es ist die Grundvoraussetzung dafür, dass Paare dauerhaft zusammenbleiben und eine tiefe Intimität aufbauen.
Anders als andere Paartherapeuten gewinnt Gottman seine Erkenntnisse, indem er über Jahrzehnte Tausende von Paaren in seinem Labor beobachtet und videoanalysiert, ihren Kommunikationsstil untersucht, ihren Biorhythmus bestimmt und körperliche Reaktionen wie den Puls misst. Das Buch zeigt, wie Paare ihre Beziehung verbessern, selbst oder gerade dann, wenn eine Beziehungskrise droht oder sie kurze Zeit zurückliegt, indem sie an ihrem Vertrauensverhältnis arbeiten. Wann lohnt es sich überhaupt noch, an einer Beziehung festzuhalten? Paare, die einen ehrlichen Blick auf die Qualität ihrer Beziehung haben wollen, können in einem Selbsttest ihren Liebesquotienten ermitteln.