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The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had): A Memoir by [Sophie Santos, Joey Soloway]
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The One You Want to Marry (And Other Identities I've Had): A Memoir Kindle Edition

4.1 out of 5 stars 783 ratings

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Editorial Reviews

Review

One of Shondaland’s Best Books of October 2021

“[A] hilarious, identity-affirming memoir…a must read for anyone who has ever struggled to just be.” —Shondaland

“Her breezy tone feels intimate and makes the more serious and somber moments—such as her first comprehension of race (and the term ‘ethnically ambiguous’), her struggles with mental health, and rueful admissions of having mistreated former girlfriends—hit all the harder. LGBTQ millennials are sure to find a kindred spirit, warts and all, in these clever pages.” Publishers Weekly

“Sophie Santos isn’t your average comedian…she details the plot points of her own life—like constant moves due to her dad’s gig in the Army and her stint in pageantry—with hilarious aplomb.” Entertainment Weekly

“Kept me completely enthralled throughout…written in a casual, intensely readable style that reminds me of reading someone’s diary, complete with an uncensored look at every aspect of their life…Santos does not shy away…it’s a story about running from yourself, chasing mirages of who you are, and what happens when you’re finally forced to stand still and face yourself…it’s a messy process, and this book embraces that. I hope that young readers that feel like they’re doing it wrong, who are embarrassed about how long it took them to come out, or who are struggling to get stability in their adult identities, find this book.” Book Riot’s All the Books podcast

“Quite funny. Santos rips through stories that are awkward, painfully relatable or even deeply embarrassing…that frankness helped me keep rooting for her…a story that’s less about coming out and more about finally coming into your own.” —Autostraddle

“Sophie Santos is a surprising and gifted writer, and I’m grateful to her for sharing her many lives with me, and us all, with this terrific debut that made me LAUGH, and then laugh more.” —Matt Rogers, comedian, entertainer, and cohost of the Las Culturistas podcast

“Very honest, very funny, a total delight. The one you want to read.” —Isaac Oliver, author of Intimacy Idiot

From the Publisher

For readers of Phoebe Robinson, Issa Rae, Jessi Klein, and Tina Fey comes a comedic coming-of-age memoir about the ups and downs of finding one’s identity in a world that so often pressures us to fit in.

Sophie Santos, the biracial daughter of a Filipino and Spanish lieutenant colonel in the army and a strong Southern nurse, struggled to belong in her community. Through peewee football, puberty, pageant life, and the University of Alabama sorority sisterhood (where she found herself pledging at a sorority known for attracting girls who were great “wife material”), Sophie tried her best to blend in. But she was the definition of a late bloomer. It wasn’t until years later that she came to embrace her queer identity and discovered her comedic voice onstage.

The One You Want to Marry is a memoir filled with funny, heartbreaking, and, yes, some very cringey moments, and I was charmed by Sophie’s irresistible voice and her inspiring journey. This book is a gift for anyone who has taken the long route to finding their place in the world.

—Laura Van der Veer, Editor

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B08SQX94JT
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ TOPPLE Books & Little A (October 1, 2021)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 1, 2021
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 64806 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 369 pages
  • Lending ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 out of 5 stars 783 ratings

About the author

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Sophie Santos is a comedian and writer based in New York. She’s written for TV shows on Bravo and MTV and currently hosts the satirical comedy show The Lesbian Agenda. Her writing has also been featured in McSweeney’s. Sophie has appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and MTV News, and she has performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and the Kennedy Center. Follow her on social media for lesbian propaganda. For more information, visit www.sophiesantos.com.

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
4.1 out of 5
783 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2021
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Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2021
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16 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2021
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18 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 4, 2021
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Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2021
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Top reviews from other countries

Timothy J Chisholm
2.0 out of 5 stars It's not you It's me..
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 22, 2021
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2 people found this helpful
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The Paragon
3.0 out of 5 stars Lacking something
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 17, 2021
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One person found this helpful
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Rebecca B
4.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and honest - a great millennial memoir
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 12, 2021
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One person found this helpful
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A. ROGERS
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting life
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 9, 2021
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4.0 out of 5 stars Bloody funny
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 6, 2021
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