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Anna Whiston-Donaldson

Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love Hardcover – September 9, 2014

by Anna Whiston-Donaldson (Author), Glennon Melton (Foreword)

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I wish I had nothing to say on the matter of loss, but I do. Because one day I encouraged my two kids to go out and play in the rain, and only one came home….

Now a New York Times bestseller!
________________________________________________________________________

On the other side of heartbreak, a story of hope rises.

On an ordinary September day, twelve-year-old Jack is swept away in a freak neighborhood flood. His parents and younger sister are left to wrestle with the awful questions: How could God let this happen? And, Can we ever be happy again? They each fall into the abyss of grief in different ways. And in the days and months to come, they each find their faltering way toward peace.

In Rare Bird, Anna Whiston-Donaldson unfolds a mother’s story of loss that leads, in time, to enduring hope. “Anna’s storytelling,” says Glennon Doyle Melton, “is raw and real and intense and funny.”

With this unforgettable account of a family’s love and longing, Anna will draw you deeper into a divine goodness that keeps us—beyond all earthly circumstances—safe.

This is a book about facing impossible circumstances and wanting to turn back the clock. It is about the flicker of hope in realizing that in times of heartbreak, God is closer than your own skin. It is about discovering that you’re braver than you think.

Praise for Rare Bird

“In her beautiful, clear-eyed prose Anna brings to life complex miracles: that the anchor of being strong is tied to feelings of unbearable weakness; that the ache of grief is often accompanied by glittering beauty; and that all we do not understand is more important to making sense of life than what we know. Her story, as well as Jack’s story, is gorgeous, bold and true, and no one will be unchanged in reading it.”
— Stacy Morrison, Editor in Chief, BlogHer; author of Falling Apart in One Piece

“This is not a book; it is a kaleidoscope. With every turn of the page, a new discovery is made that forever alters your view of pain, joy, heartache, time, hope, and healing. As I journeyed through Anna’s divinely written prose, I found myself unable to stand by as a passive recipient of her message. I needed to act. Because of Anna and Jack, I talked with my child about heaven. I walked around the pool’s edge to sit beside a grieving woman. I looked into the darkest places of my soul and for the first time, I did not look away. If you yearn to stop hiding from that which prevents you from truly living, step into the kaleidoscope that is Rare Bird. Turn the page—wake up, stand up, comfort, love, and live. Turn the page—let your eyes be opened to the light that exists in whatever darkness you face.”
— Rachel Macy Stafford, New York Times best-selling author of Hands Free Mama

“A masterpiece of hope, love, and the resilience and ferocity of the human spirit.”
— From the foreword by Glennon Doyle Melton, Momastery.com; author of Carry On, Warrior

"Rare Bird is not just another well-written story of love, loss, and the aftermath of death, but it is a story that clearly shows the constant presence and grace of a loving God. It gives assurance and comfort to those whose hearts are grieving, and hope to those who are afraid."
— Mary C. Neal, MD, New York Times best-selling author of To Heaven and Back

Print length

240 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Convergent Books
Publication date

September 9, 2014
Dimensions

5.75 x 0.86 x 8.5 inches
ISBN-10

1601425198
ISBN-13

978-1601425195
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Profound, tender, honest—and utterly unforgettable.”
— Gretchen Rubin, author of #1 New York Times bestseller, The Happiness Project

“Will touch every reader who picks it up.”
–The Washingtonian

"In this powerful debut memoir, blogger Whiston-Donaldson tells the tragic story—of the death of her 12-year-old son Jack. The author is an emotionally insightful guide to the territory of grief. She notes the relationship of grief and shame, the comforts and sorrows of sex, and the hideous fights between bereaved parents. From its disarming opening sentence (“I thought the first book I’d write would be about painting furniture”), the book avoids sentimentality. The book is well paced—the reader knows from the start that the author’s child is dead, but doesn’t know precisely how he dies for some chapters—and is underpinned by a steady drumbeat of faith, as Whiston-Donaldson negotiates a new relationship with God after Jack’s death. She feels deeply loved by God, “almost as if I’m wrapped in a soft, cotton batting,” but she is also “disappointed and hurt... and the only broken body I can picture right now is Jack’s.” Whiston-Donaldson’s compelling account belongs on the shelf next to Richard Lischer’s Stations of the Heart."
—Publishers Weekly

“In her beautiful, clear-eyed prose Anna brings to life complex miracles: that the anchor of being strong is tied to feelings of unbearable weakness; that the ache of grief is often accompanied by glittering beauty; and that all we do not understand is more important to making sense of life than what we know. Her story, as well as Jack’s story, is gorgeous, bold and true, and no one will be unchanged in reading it.”
— Stacy Morrison, Editor in Chief, BlogHer; author of Falling Apart in One Piece

“This is not a book; it is a kaleidoscope. With every turn of the page, a new discovery is made that forever alters your view of pain, joy, heartache, time, hope, and healing. As I journeyed through Anna’s divinely written prose, I found myself unable to stand by as a passive recipient of her message. I needed to act. Because of Anna and Jack, I talked with my child about heaven. I walked around the pool’s edge to sit beside a grieving woman. I looked into the darkest places of my soul and for the first time, I did not look away. If you yearn to stop hiding from that which prevents you from truly living, step into the kaleidoscope that is Rare Bird. Turn the page—wake up, stand up, comfort, love, and live. Turn the page—let your eyes be opened to the light that exists in whatever darkness you face.”
— Rachel Macy Stafford, New York Times best-selling author of Hands Free Mama

“A masterpiece of hope, love, and the resilience and ferocity of the human spirit.”
— From the foreword by Glennon Doyle Melton, Momastery.com; author of Carry On, Warrior

"Rare Bird is not just another well-written story of love, loss, and the aftermath of death, but it is a story that clearly shows the constant presence and grace of a loving God. It gives assurance and comfort to those whose hearts are grieving, and hope to those who are afraid."
— Mary C. Neal, MD, New York Times best-selling author of To Heaven and Back

About the Author

Anna Whiston-Donaldson is a popular blogger at An Inch of Gray. A graduate of James Madison University and Wake Forest University, she taught high school English for six years before becoming a full-time mom and writer. She lives with her husband, Tim, and daughter, Margaret, in suburban Washington, DC.

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Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Convergent Books (September 9, 2014)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1601425198
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1601425195
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.2 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 0.86 x 8.5 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,254,550 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #6,275 in Christian Women's Issues
- #13,381 in Christian Inspirational
- #44,883 in Memoirs (Books)

Customer Reviews:
406 ratings

About the author

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Anna Whiston-Donaldson

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Anna Whiston-Donaldson is a former high school English teacher who lives in the DC Suburbs. Her blog, An Inch of Gray, shares Anna's stories of humor, motherhood, and loss and has twice been voted one of BlogHer's Voices of the year.

In 2011 her two children went out to play in the rain and only one came home.

Her New York Times bestseller Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love (Convergent) deals with raw, new grief and finding faith and hope in impossible circumstances.

Rare Bird was one of Publisher's Weekly's top picks of 2014.

Her children's picture book, A Hug from Heaven (Mascot Books 2018) comforts grieving children and models healthy grieving.

Anna has also contributed to Modern Loss: Candid Conversations about Grief (Harper Collins) and Sunshine after the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother.

Anna's writing has been featured in Woman's Day, Ladies' Home Journal, and The Washington Post as well as on For Her, The Daily Beast, Huffington Post and other outlets.

Humorous and full of heart, Anna speaks to groups about resilience, loss, faith and finding a way forward when life is different than you expected.

Find Anna at annawhistondonaldson.com

Customer reviews

5 star		83%
4 star		9%
3 star		4%
2 star		1%
1 star		2%

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A Powerful Glimpse into Grief and Loss

Reviewed in the United States on March 5, 2019

Verified Purchase

When I was in college I took a class that required I write a paper on grief from a faith perspective and used two excellent sources: C.S. Lewis’ “A Grief Observed” which deals with his sense of loss in the aftermath of losing his wife Joy, and Henri Nouwen’s “In Memoriam” where Nouwen looks at death and dying and the aftermath of grief when he lost his mother after she faced a difficult battle with cancer. If I had to write the same paper today, I would add Anna Whiston-Donaldson’s “Rare Bird” to my reading list as well.

Anna is a woman of faith and a book lover who spent years working in a church related bookstore, though her greatest calling was being a wife and mother. Like many book sellers, Anna hoped to one day write a book and thought it would be a how-to book about restoring furniture. Her book would include inspirational Christian quotes and Biblical passages in each chapter. Instead, her first book dealt with losing her son in a tragic manner that defies explanation. She is honest about her emotions, how her son’s death changed every aspect of her close-knit family’s life, as well as her anger, hurt, and unanswered questions. She was told by many she was a powerful example of faith, which when she describes many things she faced is true, but in the pages, she shares what was happening in her heart during this time. She was also honest about her relationship with God and the changes that took place in that relationship in the aftermath of her son’s death. She is not perfect, there are many issues that it seems she still has to deal with, and her hurt can be raw at moments, but I see these things as strengths. This is how people deal with tragedy in real life situations. Television resolves things in a short period of time, life does not.

I am not sure if Anna intended that the book begins at a fast-paced rate then slows a bit, but I found when I first began reading the book, I could not put it down, then it is not as fast paced. To me it demonstrated that life can move fast, change at a moment’s notice, and then there is the slow trudging through life as we try and make sense of things. I personally found this book helpful in understanding the love parents have for children and by sharing her grief so well, I got a glimpse of what a parent faces at the loss of a child. I do think it raises questions that are important in growing in faith and that is why I selected to read “Rare Bird.” However, I would add a cautionary note. Often times when people face a challenge or a loss, giving a person a book seems ideal, and in many cases it can be. I do not believe that this is “that” book that you would give to a grieving parent. It would have to be read when and if they are ready. Now if you are helping someone who is grieving, if you are in ministry, you’re an educator, social worker, this is “that” book.

Thank-you Anna Whiston-Donaldson for sharing this story.

9 people found this helpful

Helpful

Linda K G

From: LindaKG Pain, Grief, Then Hope: Great read with raw honesty, My go to Book when someone suffers a heartbreaking loss.

Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2015

Verified Purchase

Rare Bird is a rare book and a rare read. My cousin made me aware of it. It wasn't available so my husband put me on the list for a download to my kindle.I gave this book 5 Stars. I read it in one sitting, cover to cover. I then purchased 3 (in print) books. One book for me and 2 books for my friends who both had just suffered the loss of a child under tragic circmstances. The kind I don't always know what to say. I let the book speak for me and it did.! Both read it cover to cover as well. We had many positive discussions about the healing effects of the book.

When my now adult daughter was born, I remember holding her and looking into her beautiful eyes, feeling a joy beyond belief. I once was told that the eyes are the windows to the soul. looking into her eyes and feeling this joy, I noticed an incredible feeling of fear.as It now dawned on me that I was responsible for assuring a "safe" upbringing for this child. I found myself holding her closer and tighter as I felt both joy and fear.

Anna Whiston-Donaldson lived a spectrum of emotions with the tragic accidental drowning of her beautiful boy. Anna's ability to put words to paper and have them become (in my opinon) meaningful for those of us who are unable to articulate a loss of this magnitude. I strongly believe that anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one (not just a child) would benefit from reading this book. Will the pain go away? Probably Not, but there just maybe an understanding and possibly an acceptance or healing.
The two friends I gave this book to,have thanked me in writing and verbally and when we get together we still bring up our evolving emotions..

This will be my go to book for friends when they experience the loss of a loved one. I just want to say Thank you to Anna for capturing the words in your heart and head, as well as your pain and sharing it so exquisitely.

7 people found this helpful

Helpful

M. B. Mccormick

WOW.

Reviewed in the United States on July 13, 2015

Verified Purchase

I pre-purchased this book, having followed the entire saga on Anna's blog in real time. I remember driving my youngest son home that same stormy evening, in the nearby suburbs, even as my older sons (then 13 and 15) had texted to say they'd wandered down to our own cul-de-sac in the Maryland suburbs of DC to witness swollen drainage ditches and stream beds, mildly panicked for their safety. The next day I learned about jack. But I wasn't ready to read this yet.

I finally just read it. I ripped through it in 24 short hours. My tears began in earnest in chapter 32 and now I can't breathe out of my nose and my 10 year old son is asking me why. And I tried to explain and he somewhat remembers that day...

Anna has a way of articulating the myriad of emotions that accompany the grieving process that is crisp and raw and humble and so very articulate. I haven't lost a child, but I lost a parent when I was 14 and I grieve other losses (where "loss" doesn't necessarily = death) and her words help me to understand what I am feeling. Even though it isn't the same precise grief, the grief itself has universal elements that scream through.

Anna's book makes me wish for her to write MORE. She is exceedingly relatable. I hope she has found her voice here so she can use it in other ways. She is a talented, gifted writer. Perhaps it is trite to suggest this is but one silver lining to come out of her journey, but I hope and pray that through her grief Anna is able to trumpet her voice. Her Jack was a rare bird indeed - I think, so is Anna.

5 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Loualaw

An beautifully honest account of Anna's grief of her precious son, Jack

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 24, 2014

Verified Purchase

It's hard to say I 'love' this book. I love the absolute honest account of Anna's grief of her precious son, Jack. I found this blog two years ago when I was laid up in bed with a broken tibial plateau and I was looking at 'Momastery' on my iPad, which a Facebook friend had recommended- she referenced the blog and linked to Anna's blog 'An Inch of Grey'. I started reading the blog after the first year 'crapiversary'. I feel like I know Anna now, such is her authenticity, and I feel like we can all relate to her as a person.
Her grief on the other hand, she writes about so well, yet we know we cannot fully imagine the pain the family are experiencing. I feel honoured to be able to read about such raw emotion and how it has related to and affected (positively) her Christian faith. I, too, am a Christian and am encouraged by how far God has brought them.
She doesn't canonise her son, it is an honest account of who he was and how her life has changed beyond what she could have imagined with his loss. I am not a mother, nor am I a wife but I have experienced grief and loss and could relate on a small level. This book is an extension of her blog and she is a very talented and genuine writer.

One person found this helpful

I D N

Having read Anna's blog I was fairly certain I would not be disappointed. It's hard to say that I 'enjoyed' something ...

Reviewed in Canada on May 21, 2016

Verified Purchase

I have been wanting to read this book since I heard of its existence. Having read Anna's blog I was fairly certain I would not be disappointed. It's hard to say that I 'enjoyed' something that is so fundementally tragic but that's the brilliance of Anna and her way of taking you on her journey. She is witty and heart wrenching all at once. death and loss in its many forms is something none of us escape, so to see someone who has experienced it to its fullest and deepest sense come out the other side is inspiring. The story itself beautiful in its darkness and light. I felt so much frustration and injustice in the way her boy's disappearance into the creek was handled. So upset by a lack of urgency with all involved and yet it seems Anna has somehow found some peace. I know that there were real moments of ugliness but survival and even the ability to thrive have come to be. I feel this was all portrayed realistically and eloquently and will help a lot of people.

One person found this helpful

melissa bebee

What courage this book shows

Reviewed in Canada on July 4, 2020

Verified Purchase

This book is wonderful. It is not often one is able to read about the raw, uncensored feelings of grief. Thank you, Anna for your openness. Thank you for sharing what was in your mind and heart. And thank you, Jack. God bless your family.

Arlene Fash

At times she is like a rock and at other times she is a ...

Reviewed in Canada on September 28, 2014

Verified Purchase

Anna bravely shares with us her grief journey over the first year after her beloved 12 year old son, Jack, drowns in a flash flood on Sept. 8th, 2011. She writes very honestly, baring her innermost thoughts and reflections with us. We meet her family and read glimpses of how they grapple with the loss of Jack. Her faith in God is shaken after such a tragic event. At times she is like a rock and at other times she is a mess. But she finds her strength in her love of God, of Jack and the support of so many. I recommend this book for someone who is going through the death of a child or another family member.

One person found this helpful

Lori

It is a beautiful thing to watch God show up in our most ...

Reviewed in Canada on September 30, 2014

Verified Purchase

As a mom who lost my 18 year old son in an accident I related with so much of this book. It was written with such raw honesty, Anna put into words much of what I felt but had no words for. Heartbreaking, yes, but also encouraging. It is a beautiful thing to watch God show up in our most painful, desperate places as He did for Anna and as He has for me.

One person found this helpful

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