Top positive review
R.I.P. you orange metallic angel 😢
Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2020
Disclaimer: The following review is intended to be humorous. This product has been discontinued by the manufacturers.
Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to honour the life of tangerine edition red bull energy drink. A life that was taken from us far too soon. I first met Tangie at a gas station one morning before work. When our eyes met it was love at first sight. I was fortunate to have been able to spend the last two years with her before she was diagnosed with stage four market stagnation. She never said a word to me about her condition. Had I known our time together would be coming to such an abrupt end, I would not have taken her company so for granted. Apparently she had been under the scrutiny of some of the top Red Bull marketologists for some time. A few months ago she was absent for nearly two weeks without so much as a text ir even a courtesy email. Sadly, the marketologists were under no obligation to contact me as I was not legally related. It was through the pages of the Reddit news media network that I learned of her impending doom. I ran out into the night cursing up the sky. Asking gos "WHY?!!!" Why Tangie? We've only just begun. I layed in bed and cried myself to sleep that night. The following day I wasted no time and set out looking for her. Eventually we were reunited at a local drugstore chain. Six different locations to be exact. Every location I went into that still had some in stock, whether 1 can or 100, I completely bought them out. When my search ended that evening I had accumulated nearly 30 cans. "Am I being just a tiny bit obsessive?" I asked myself. I had no answer. But I didn't care. She was back home with me were she belonged. When I found I could purchase an entire case through Amazon I did not hesitate. I clicked add to cart so hard one of the front wheels fell off. I had instantly passed right over obsessive and went straight into full blown hoarding. Unfortunately... when you have an insatiable hunger for a limited non-renewable substance as I did. Eventually the party must come to an end. As I type this heartfelt product review I have just opened my last can. My only regret through this whole experience is that I cheaped out and only purchased one case. I don't know how many were available but if I could go back and do it again, I would order every last case Amazon would ship. I would give anything to see her beautiful orange metallic shell again.
Oh well... the watermelon flavor ain't bad.