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Renegade (The Captive Series Book 2) Kindle Edition
Free of the palace, Aria is still tormented by memories of Braith… the vampire prince who shattered her heart.
Her only solace from the anguish is with Max, her best friend, and fellow blood slave. Just as Aria begins to salvage the broken pieces of her wounded spirit, a marauding group of vampires raid the caves where the rebels are temporarily sheltered.
With the security of the caves gone, and vampires hunting them, Aria tries to stay hidden while she searches for her family. She isn’t expecting to come face to face with Braith.
Haunted by Aria’s betrayal, Braith spent the past months becoming a monster. When he learns she was spotted in the woods, he tries to stay away, but finds himself drawn to the rebel who stole his heart.
Divided between their loyalties and their hearts, will their love be enough to overcome their past, or will their differences tear them apart forever?
***The Captive Series is mature YA/New Adult. This book contains some language, violence, and sexual situations. Recommended for ages sixteen and up.***
- ASIN : B00885Z13U
- Publication date : June 1, 2012
- Language : English
- File size : 1176 KB
- Simultaneous device usage : Unlimited
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 226 pages
- Page numbers source ISBN : B08KHGDQYG
- Best Sellers Rank: #29,996 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
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Top reviews from the United States
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Second book in the Captive series
Aria is free. She’s no longer a blood slave to Braith, the prince of the vampires, but she isn’t safe. She’ll never be safe as the daughter to the leader of the rebellion. Aria is running and trying to forget the love that she felt for Braith who has betrayed her and broken her heart. Braith has become a monster. The man who never owned a blood slave now owns multitudes of them and relishes in torturing and killing anyone who looks at him funny. But he still longs for the woman who betrayed him and plans to go after her. Braith wants to make her pay and suffer and goes into the woods with just that purpose. Obviously, this isn’t a groundbreaking novel. It’s not going to be the type of novel that changes your perspective on life or moves your soul to the core, but I wasn’t looking for that when I picked up this series. The first book, Captured, was so much fun. This series has dark content and I quite enjoy dark themes, so it’s right up my alley. Not everyone is going to enjoy these books and I pointed out in my review of the first book that there are a lot of grammar issues, but it’s an indie author and I’m holding up to par with the level of fanfiction that is fun. There’s two types of fanfiction: the type that is so well-written and moving that you read it over and over and the type that you laugh at, but can’t stop reading because you’re trash and you love it. (Sidenote: I'm excluding the fanfiction that is so bad that you can't read it.) This book is the latter. I didn’t laugh at this book, but I know it’s not a great novel. It’s a fun novel and that’s what I wanted. I got a fun novel with a lot of dark and cheesy themes and I liked it.
The writing in this novel is fast-paced. It’s really hard to put the book down because Stevens does an excellent job of keeping events interesting and there are a lot of interesting scenes in this book. This is definitely a more action driven novel than the previous novel. Captured focused more on the day-to-day interactions between Braith and Aria, but Renegade focuses more on being on the run. There is always something to run from in this novel. It makes for an intense story, but when things start to slow down the grammar inconsistencies become more prevalent. For example, towards the end there’s a scene where Braith and Aria are learning what their connections is and the author called it two different things. I was so confused. Get it together and know what you are introducing to this world so the readers aren’t confused.
Whimsical Writing Scale: 3
The main character is Aria. Aria is hardened by the events that occurred in the previous novel and the devastating loss and betrayal she feels. Wah-ah-wah-ah. I really don’t care. I mean to be honest the reason why these two now hate each other is because of lack of communication and being easily manipulated. I did like Aria because she’s a fun character to read from, but she doesn’t have any distinguishable character traits and nothing about her sticks with me. I finished this book two weeks ago, and I’m struggling to explain her personality because she is more of a cardboard cut-out. She is mended, broken, and shaped to fit the story the way Stevens wants it to go and she doesn’t have any characteristics that make her a good character.
Kick-Butt Heroine Scale: 3
The main male character is Braith. Braith is a “stone-cold” monster in this book. I didn’t really feel that. He didn’t make my skin crawl and my heart swoon like the Darkling. He made me frustrated and annoyed. He felt just as melodramatic as the situation of these two star-crossed lovers. I do like Braith and feel that he has more development that Aria, but for me, he fell a little flat in this novel.
Swoon Worthy Scale: 3
The Villain- EVERYONE. No one can be trusted and everyone must be killed to save Aria. LOLZ This is the way that Stevens writes and it isn’t a bad thing, but it makes everyone so annoying and unlikable. It is frustrating because it isn’t done in a GoT type setting, but in a melodramatic vampire uprising with a bonus love story setting.
Villain Scale: 2
There is no character development in this novel. Some new characters are introduced and they are interesting, but I don’t really feel a deep connection to anyone. I did however enjoy the two characters that were introduced towards the end and I enjoyed the backstory that the author provided because I ended up liking the characters quite a bit
Character Scale: 2.25
I really enjoyed the action in this novel and where the novel went and has set the series up to go. There's a lot to look forward to, but. I know the big BUT. Overall, I feel a little disappointed by this book. Not much because this book was so much fun to read and it’s fast-paced, but upon reflecting for my review I see how many problems I had with the story and characters. I do recommend this series for those who enjoyed the first novel or people who love books that feel like trashy fanfiction. I was conflicted on continuing this series, but I’m also trash and know I will spend my money on the next book.
Plotastic Scale: 3.5
Cover Thoughts: MEH. It’s your basic bitch YA cover for a paranormal romance. Bloody roses are a vampire thing.
I am not going to be as mean as some reviewers, but I am going to agree with the issues in Captive and Renegade. As a writer, professor, and avid reader, I was seriously disappointed in the level of spelling, punctuation, and grammar mistakes. What makes me sad about this whole thing is I read the beginning of the book where the author thanks an editor. Ms. Stevens, if you paid money to this editor or editing service, you need to demand a refund. Almost every sentence in your books contains a comma splice and several fused sentences (run-on sentences). These issues alone create such a terrible distraction.
Below is an example of what those look like:
Comma splice: "The wolf had never been here, it had been years since Braith had been down here, mainly because he despised it."
Fused sentence: "The wolf had never been here it had been years since Braith had been down here."
To fix run-ons, you need to use a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) after the comma (add the comma if you have a fused sentence), include a period to separate the two independent clauses, or use a semicolon. You do not use semicolons after introductory dependent clauses, which I notice you do a few times. You use semicolons incorrectly in other areas as well, which the previous reviewer mentioned. A semicolon separates two independent clauses that can stand on their own. Here is how you would fix a comma splice or fused sentence using these rules:
Coordinating conjunction and comma: "The wolf had never been here, and it had been years since Braith had been down here, mainly because he despised it."
Period: "The wolf had never been here. It had been years since Braith had been down here, mainly because he despised it."
Semicolon: "The wolf had never been here; it had been years since Braith had been down here, mainly because he despised it."
The next major issue I found in your books has to do with relative clauses. This issue is worse in the second book. People are who or whom; they are not "that." I saw so many sentences with an incorrect use of the "that" relative clause that I had to force myself to continue reading. You use "that" to modify things rather than people.
i.e. Arianna was the woman who he loved most in this world. (correct "who" usage)
Arianna was the woman that he loved most in this world. (incorrect)
We saw the car that he wanted. (correct "that" usage)
Another distracting issue is spelling. Unless they are part of a dialogue, you want to avoid using words associated with texting/social language . Two words that you repeatedly misspell include "ok" and "thru." The correct spelling of those words are "okay" and "through."
I hate to add more, but to finalize, you misuse commas and put them where they don't need to be, and you say the same thing twice but in different ways, which creates repetition.
Now here is the thing. People today think that self-publishing is so easy, and it is. That does not mean, however, that we ignore the rules of convention or the writing process. When writing creatively, we can break the rules for effect. Thus, we can use fragments to build tension, or start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction. We can also do some fun things with dialogue, but we have to do so in an a way that does not affect writer credibility. Overall, there is no such thing as a perfect writer, but as a writer, you need to explore, plan, draft, revise, edit, and proofread--sometimes more than once to ensure you have your best work possible. By doing so, you establish credibility with your audience.
Speaking of audience, I'm a bit confused. You say this book is geared toward 17-year-olds and young adults, but as a reader, I feel this story is for a more mature audience. The Twilight Series is definitely an example of Young Adult Paranormal Fiction. I hope you reconsider this.
With that being said, I have noticed many books published on Amazon that contain major grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors, and some that lack character development. The good news is I felt connected to your characters, which is why I kept reading. I wanted to know more. I occasionally read books like this when I want a break from literary texts, or I want a break from my own writing, and your story is the only one I managed to continue reading, even though the errors mentioned created a major distraction. However, you can fix this by finding the right editor to assist you. I am a writer and also a freelance editor. I am more than happy to help you, and not just for money. I think these books work well for this genre. It's obvious your current editor has not helped you, so if you would like quality editing at reasonable pricing, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I also encourage you to join a local writer's group, or start networking with other writers online (if you don't now). You will find writers love giving fellow writers feedback on their work as I did here. Unfortunately, there are those people like the reviewer before me who only do harm with their words. You will find, however, there are many kind but effective peer reviewers ready to help you make your work successful.
I will leave things there, and just to let you know, I plan on reading more to see what happens between Braith and Arianna. I hope in the future I can give a 4 or 5 star rating.
Top reviews from other countries
Aria wonders if Braith will try to find her, she and her family as well as a large number of their group, have been hiding in the underground caves. Aria cannot bear to be so confined. The open air and the forest is where she feels most comfortable. As a group of vampires attack their position Aria escapes to the forest. But it is there that Braith finds her.
Second book in the series, and this is even better than the first IMO. The characters are very well drawn, the writing is descriptive and well balanced. There are a lot of twists and turns in this as well as some surprises. I believe the next book is to be published early in January 2013. I will certainly be reading that.
Braith hasn't taken Arias departure well and he's spiralling down into darkness, he's feeding constantly and brutally and we're left to wonder if he'll come out the other side.
It's only when his evil brother Caleb decides to go after Aria that Braith has to take action because regardless of the hurt and betrayal he feels he can't let Caleb get his hands on her or can he?
This is a really good second book as good if not better than the previous one.