Richard E.D. Jones
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About Richard E.D. Jones
Looking for A Dude's Guide to Babies? You've come to the right place.
Richard Ed. Jones -- me -- is an award-winning newspaper reporter who began writing fiction because he wanted to get paid for making things up and not get fired because of it. Newspapers are funny that way.
For most of the past 25 years, I was a stay-at-home dad of three growing sons. Showing the perseverance necessary to survive nearly any horrific situation, I managed to keep all three sons alive and send them off to college. And the voices say I am still sane. So I’ve got that in my corner.
For those of you who prefer a whole bunch of stuff at the same time, rather than getting stuff dribbled out in little bitty bits every day. . . Well, aren't you the lucky ones. Writing as Richard Jones, I'm co-author of the popular and successful guide for rookie dads called "A Dude's Guide to Babies: The New Dad’s Playbook." This is the best of the best. Between those covers, I’ve put everything you need to become a successful parent. For varying definitions of success, of course. I mean, you probably won't be arrested for following our advice. Except for what's on page 42. That was just a joke, dudes. Just a joke.
My fiction has appeared in numerous on-line magazines and print publications. Right now, I'm working on putting the finishing touches on the first CurseWerks novel, "Reptile Wisdom." In the book, we learn why zombies lurch, just how to beat up a snot monster, and why letting a motile severed hand roam free in a mad scientist's lab is a really bad idea. There's also some serious bits in. I'm also writing a paranormal romantic comedy that involves lots of sex, some violence and a retirement community. The working title is "Sex, Violence and Wrinkles." What? A bit too on the nose? Finally, I'm also expanding my award-winning young readers story, "The Mismatched Monster," into a full-length book. If you're interested in any of that, you can find out more at my all-fiction all-the-time website, http://www.byrichardjones.com. Really. I'm not making that bit up.
Of course, if you're really interested, you can always peruse this here online bookstore. You'll find a number of my short stories, including the original award-winning young readers story, "The Mismatched Monster," and several shorts from the world of CurseWerks. I've also offered one of my favorite stories. It's about a slacker who runs a covert vacation escort and destination service for aliens. You know, the kind of aliens from really, really far away. It's called "Service with A Smile," and includes some of the funniest writing you'll ever read about alien abduction. And probing. Can't forget the probing.
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Titles By Richard E.D. Jones
Mote was one of the most irascible men on the planet, but he wanted to be one of the most irascible men off the planet. His whole life was dedicated to the dream of human spaceflight. When NASA shut down the shuttle fleet and no one stepped up to take its place, he was devastated.
Now the old man is dead, leaving behind a son who grew up alienated and feeling neglected, and a grandson who feels the same way about his father. Three generations of men in the same family fought for their passions. Now, the terms of Mote's will might just have them all fighting for the same thing.
A story of love and hope that reaches from beyond the grave and into the stars, Countdown is for any man who with a father or a son. It's about the differences between generations and the differences that divide them.
And secret rockets that just might blow the whole thing to smithereens.
As part of a year-long unit on creativity and literature, the students have been encouraged to write their own short stories to go along with a theme. Each student who writes a story will have it collected along with a story written by award-winning writer Richard E.D. Jones on the same theme.
Clutzy but nice about it, Harold has been through almost all of the 274 allowed Farmynth shapes. If Harold doesn't get it right this time, he'll simply fade back into ooze and never be seen again.
It's up to Jack and Harold to find a way for Harold to succeed, even when they're being pursued by the psychotic Mr. Shivers, a blood-hungry teddy bear with knives for hands.
Harold and Jack might have had a chance, if only they hadn't fallen into the Infinite Abyss. As it is. . .
Facing down small, but determined and very angry, opposition, Ben and Keali must find some way to help their new dragon friend while defeating a horde of swarming, armed knights who think they have the right on their side.
This fast-paced story is fun for all ages.
Seconds later, the spacecraft screamed into the cloudless Kansas sky, drowning out the Rolling Stones blasting from Gary's decaying lemon-yellow pick up.
"Okay," Gary said. "I probably deserved that."
He stood, dusted off the seat of his worn jeans and looked for witnesses. He hated it when aliens came in their own ships like that. Much safer to park on the back side of the moon and use the matter transmitter in his barn.
"How was I supposed to know it wanted to probe, not get probed?"
Gary Burgin has a problem. Well, he's got a lot of problems, but one in particular is weighing on his mind at the moment. He has no idea what aliens want. Which wouldn't be a problem if he didn't run Earth's only clandestine tourist agency for visiting aliens. Outer-space-type aliens. And because he's supposed to be running the whole thing on the Q.T., it's not like he can't ask anyone for help. Which is too bad, because he's really sort of cruddy at the whole tour guide thing.
To make matters worse, Arlene Reynolds is moving in on his farm. If she were moving in on him, that would be one thing. Unfortunately, she's moving in on his farm because the city wants to make a land grab and turn Gary's farm/tourist base into a shopping mall. Gary figures he'd have a reasonable shot at talking Arlene out of the whole thing if only she didn't hate him for having stood her up on their one attempted date. He hadn't wanted to stand her up, but when you've got rampaging, probe-happy delinquent aliens running around your home town. . . Well, something's got to give.
Now, Gary's running out of time. His alien boss wants him to shape up. His county government wants him to sell his farm. And Arlene wants him to jump in a lake. Preferably with a large block of concrete attached to his ankles.
Which makes this a perfect time for a trio of Gray aliens to come visiting. A trio of juvenile Gray aliens.
It's up to Gary to find some way to save his farm, keep the sweet tourist business going, hide three aliens and get the girl. Well, either that or say to heck with it all and go have another beer. Tough question.
The first two months were easy for DeAndre. Right up until the man in the green and red checked shirt walked through the door. No, seriously. Through the door. The closed door.
DeAndre just about flipped out. After all, the word human was in his job title. He wasn't supposed to be dealing with ghosts. Still, he was a professional and he managed to cope.
Right up until the time his soul was cleaved from his body and he went on an all-expense-paid trip to the afterlife.
Now, rookie CurseWerks investigator Hubris Jameson has been sent out to answer a call about vampires. Of a sort. He must face his darkest nightmare, overcome a crippling fear and THEN the Bosses will send him out on the call.
In a fast-paced, humorous short story, Jameson will introduce the reader to the world of CurseWerks, where nothing is what it seems. Except for those that are. It's a tough call sometimes.
As the scientific director of CurseWerks, a troubleshooting firm for all your supernatural, scientific or just plain odd jobs, Harper has faced a lot of problems that would have broken most anyone she went to school with. But the Egg is something different. And when the severed hand that's running around her laboratory is her best hope, she might just be in over her head. And getting pulled down by an octopus.