A Slap in the Face: Why Insults Hurt--And Why They Shouldn't 1st Edition, Kindle Edition

by William B. Irvine (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

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ISBN-13: 978-0190665043

ISBN-10: 0190665041

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Insults are part of the fabric of daily life. But why do we insult each other? Why do insults cause us such pain? Can we do anything to prevent or lessen this pain? Most importantly, how can we overcome our inclination to insult others?

In A Slap in the Face, William Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them. He examines not just memorable zingers, such as Elizabeth Bowen's description of Aldous Huxley as "The stupid person's idea of a clever person," but subtle insults as well, such as when someone insults us by reporting the insulting things others have said about us: "I never read bad reviews about myself," wrote entertainer Oscar Levant, "because my best friends invariably tell me about them." Irvine also considers the role insults play in our society: they can be used to cement relations, as when a woman playfully teases her husband, or to enforce a social hierarchy, as when a boss publicly berates an employee. He goes on to investigate the many ways society has tried to deal with insults-by adopting codes of politeness, for example, and outlawing hate speech-but concludes that the best way to deal with insults is to immunize ourselves against them: We need to transform ourselves in the manner recommended by Stoic philosophers. We should, more precisely, become insult pacifists, trying hard not to insult others and laughing off their attempts to insult us.

A rousing follow-up to A Guide to the Good Life, A Slap in the Face will interest anyone who's ever delivered an insult or felt the sting of one--in other words, everyone.

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Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Philosophy professor Irvine begins this intriguing book with an examination of the various types of insult: verbal and physical, of course, but also practical jokes, the silent treatment, backbiting, insults by omission, insults by implication, accidental insults, sarcasm, and so on. Readers looking to add to their stock of insults will find much good material here, but they’ll also find an insightful analysis of the way we insult each other, why we do it, how we react, and how we can adjust our notion of insults and modify our reactions to them. Do we tend to overreact to insults? Do we see an insult where none is intended? Especially interesting is the author’s look at the ways we, as a society, have attempted to deal with insults and his analysis of whether these approaches are successful, or even necessary (perhaps the best way to deal with insults is simply to laugh them off). Written in a lively, entertaining style, the book is intended for a general audience, and anyone who picks it up should find something of interest. --David Pitt --This text refers to the hardcover edition.

Review

"A Slap in the Face is an earnest book offering some good advice as well as some memorable insults." --Daniel Akst, The Wall Street Journal

"Readers looking to add to their stock of insults will find much good material here, but they'll also find an insightful analysis of the way we insult each other, why we do it, how we react, and how we can adjust our notion of insults and modify our reactions to them...Written in a lively,
entertaining style..." --Booklist

"We may not like to admit it, but the impulse to wound with words has long been a part of human history, Irvine contends in this mélange of philosophy, psychology, and cultural study. Insults may range from barbs meant as flirtatious bait to the famously eloquent gibes of Shakespeare, but Irvine
pragmatically argues that regardless of intention or context, we must understand insults in order to deal with them." --Publishers Weekly

"After providing readers with a catalog of amusing insults, Irvine analyzes the role they play in everyday life and offers invaluable advice for reducing their sting. His suggestion that you laugh at yourself when you are insulted--a form of verbal aikido--is nearly foolproof."
--Mark Frauenfelder, founding editor of BoingBoing.net and editor-in-chief of the technology magazine Make

"This intriguing book is written in a very engaging style about a topic to which everyone can relate. William Irvine uses leading research in the field to present information in a very accessible manner about the various forms that insults can take, reactions that people have to insults, and ways to
more appropriately respond to insults. The points that Irvine makes will 'slap you in the face' as you quickly become aware of the prevalence of insults, your own and others, in your daily life."--Robin Kowalski, Professor of Psychology, Clemson University

"Aristotle said we were rational animals, but the Stoics noticed that we were insulting animals. Other animals establish social hierarchies with claws and fangs, we do so with words. William Irvine is a collector and a connoisseur of insults, and well-chosen examples keep this book lively. But he
also understands insults; he has important wisdom to impart, backed by his own common sense, some science, and some philosophy, about how to deal with the insults we are likely to get, and inclined to give." -- John Perry, Distinguished Professor of Philosophy, University of California at Riverside
and Henry Waldgrave Stuart Professor of Philosophy Emeritus, Stanford University

"Essential reading in our age of rage." --The Lady

--This text refers to the paperback edition.

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00AZXB9L6
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Oxford University Press; 1st edition (February 1, 2013)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ February 1, 2013
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 708 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Print length ‏ : ‎ 254 pages
Lending ‏ : ‎ Enabled

Best Sellers Rank: #650,833 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #401 in Ancient Greek History (Kindle Store)
- #768 in Psychology of Personalities
- #994 in Ancient Greek History (Books)

Customer Reviews:
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William B. Irvine

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William B. Irvine is professor of philosophy at Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio. For more on his life and writings, visit his author website at WilliamBIrvine.com.

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Really wasn’t worth reading

Reviewed in the United States on November 14, 2019

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There’s way too much blather on the infinite variety of insults one might encounter, that’s for some 150 pages, followed by the overall suggestion to be an “insult pacifist”, based largely on the principles of stoicism. The problem is with books of this kind is the scenarios selected are too trite. It’s not the inane insults of strangers that is so hard to deal with (hey fatso!, etc...), it is rather the complexity of put-downs and criticisms from people close to us; friends, romantic partners, colleagues and managers, or others in which we are engaged at high stakes, that pose a true threat. These relationships can severely affect us. What then? Irvine doesn’t go into this in any dedicated way. Rather, he sets the “insult paradigm” up within a social status limit, which then makes it rather obvious that ignoring or downplaying insults is the most efficient response.

I found myself dying for the end of this book, skipping pages, and glad to be done.

Too much triviality here for the topic.

12 people found this helpful

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Matt

There's a catch

Reviewed in the United States on June 17, 2022

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I've read 3 books by the author before and found them useful (On Desire, A Guide to the Good Life, Stoic Challenge), so I thought he would teach me to take the sting out of insults. Unfortunately, he may be able to help you do that, but he does ask a big pre-requisite out of you first: you have to not care what other people think of you (all of them, except the other Stoics you know, if you know any of course). Yes, and that includes your family and loved ones too, or else I don't think the technique would work on their insults.
I must be quite shallow, because despite having some important different values to a bunch of people in my life, I still care what they think of me and I wasn't convinced this is a viable strategy for me.
Unfortunately, you learn that something like 75% of the way into the book, and then you realize that the prior 75% isn't much use if you are not philosopher enough to drop your concern with what all the non-Stoics in your life think of you.

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bearclaw5

Good book but could've been even better

Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2022

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This is a good book and I enjoyed reading it but it felt like it needed more real.life examples including topics such as bullying, discrimination, racism, sexism, etc. I would've liked more discussion about insults on social media and especially more about how to determine ones values when escaping the social hierarchy game. Definitely much better than all the other books I've read about insults and bullying though!

One person found this helpful

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Davor

Excellent quick read on insults and the psychology behind them

Reviewed in the United States on February 5, 2013

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Having read the author's A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy , I got this book. It is a well written, quick and entertaining read. The book provides a clear classification of various kinds of insults, philosophy and evolutionary psychology behind the insults and our reactions to them, and provides an intro into the way Stoics handled them. It will be easier for you to recognize subtle insults and to avoid making them. Read this book first, and then read A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy in order to expand the Stoic's approach to handling the other aspects of your life.

16 people found this helpful

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Quinn

Excellent insight from a great Philosopher.

Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2013

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Mr. Irvine has a brilliant mind and shares much insight regarding just why we behave the way we do, and why we often hurt those we love the most. It will change the way you see the world and make you grateful it did. The asking price is little in what is given in exchange, so purchasing shouldn't be a hesitation. Please do so! -Ryan

4 people found this helpful

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Linn

Excellent book! Just the support I've needed in these ...

Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2017

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Excellent book! Just the support I've needed in these times.

One person found this helpful

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Rupert

Food for thought

Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2016

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Starts out facinating. Gets a little drowsy. Ends with a bang.

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Edi Permadi

A no nonsense self reflection book

Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2018

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Well explained, non repetitive, practical, offers multiple angles of insult interpretation. It's a good self reflection book for your stoic life journey

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Top reviews from other countries

Char char

Read the free sample then don't bother

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 2, 2016

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Started really interesting then went a little flat... In truth the made up examples of insults between women were annoying after a while (being overweight, bad cooking, wife 'nagging' husband to tidy up)

FoodIsFuel

Well thought out, and thought provoking

Reviewed in Canada on March 3, 2016

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Is it possible to let go of social climbing? If so, it could relieve so much anxiety and anger; allowing any individual to be at peace within the social settings of life. My single question to William would be why he believes social climbing is more genetic than cultural. It's true we are social creatures by nature, but not all cultures engrain an importance of social status like ours. After all, team work is more effective with people who have mutual respect rather than envy.

2 people found this helpful

Ism

Willian B. Irvine with another insightful and helpful volume

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 9, 2013

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Following on from his review of Stoic philosophy in A Guide to the Good Life, this is an interesting evolution of the ideas previously visited. Irvine is always readable and entertaining...

3 people found this helpful

Lez

some nice insights.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 10, 2013

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I liked best his insights into what we might call the social pathology that gives life to insults. I was expecting a bit more on stoicism; he keeps that to the minimum needed to understand the implicit advice that comes at the end of the book.

I was looking forward to his commenting on a favourite quote of mine from Epictetus (he doesn't) but a now realise that that expectation was a subtitle piece of self-promotion!

One person found this helpful

the5chord

Short but sweet look at insults and a stoic response

Reviewed in Canada on April 3, 2018

Verified Purchase

Not sure if this would have been better off as a magazine article but for me there wasn’t a lot to chew on. Heard the author on the art of manliness podcast and decided to try the book out. Wish there was more quotes and exposition of the stoic primary sources.

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William B. Irvine
138
Kindle Edition
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William B. Irvine
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Kindle Edition
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William B. Irvine
2,560
Kindle Edition
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Cynthia King
166
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1 offer from $6.99
Massimo Pigliucci
744
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William B. Irvine
20
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A Slap in the Face: Why Insults Hurt--And Why They Shouldn't 1st Edition, Kindle Edition

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