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Stop People Pleasing: Be Assertive, Stop Caring What Others Think, Beat Your Guilt, & Stop Being a Pushover Hardcover – December 3, 2019
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Break your crippling addiction to approval and learn to be less "nice".
Do you keep your mouth shut for fear of falling out of people's graces? Feel that you need to please and serve to stay in your social circles? You have the need to please, and all the associated beliefs.
Stop bitterness, resentment, and anxiety from always saying yes.
Stop People Pleasing is a frank look at people-pleasing tendencies - where they come from, how they manifest, and exactly what to do about them. Most importantly, the book emphasizes real, actionable tactics to change your relationship with yourself and others.
This book was written by a recovering people-pleaser, so you can be sure that there is a real understanding of your struggles.
Reprogram your beliefs and learn to accept yourself.
Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience.
Find your voice, stand up for yourself, and put yourself first.
-The psychological and often traumatic origins of people-pleasing tendencies.
-The harmful beliefs you subconsciously possess and how to alter them.
-How to learn new, empowering habits.
Learn the deep origins of your need to please, and how to set healthy boundaries.
-How to set boundaries, and avoid porous ones.
-A plethora of strategies to say no and make your thoughts known.
-Understand your guilt and get better with confrontation.
How to say NO and stop feeling responsible for people's feelings.
People-pleasing is called a disease for a reason. It can cripple you and hold you back from what you want - and yet it's all in your mind! You have the power to completely turn your life around and finally get what you want, defend yourself, and stop being so concerned with what other people think. Above all else, learn to free yourself.
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- Publisher : Pkcs Media, Inc. (December 3, 2019)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 234 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1647430615
- ISBN-13 : 978-1647430610
- Item Weight : 12 ounces
- Dimensions : 5 x 0.56 x 8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,440,500 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Top reviews from the United States
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I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone who currently, or has in the past found it difficult to say NO to people. If I could go back to my 20-something self and read a book like this, I would be much further ahead in life.
I would appreciate a Table of Contents. Now that I have read the book I'd like to go to the wonderful book summary at the back of the book for a refresher course. A Table of Contents would make this so much easier on kindle.
The other particularly helpful point he made, I think, is that "no" is a complete sentence. Default to no. Just say no. For example, one of those obnoxious salesmen with a clipboard that haunt the empty aisles of BJs Warehouse stores hunts you down to talk you into home repairs or insurance or something utterly unrelated to what you are there for, grocery shopping: "Excuse me, could I talk with you for a moment?" Answer: "No." Said firmly, and if they don't understand that, add "Go away," just as firmly and a little louder. I love this trick and it really works for me.
1. If discusses in depth people pleasing motivation and psychological factors. You can't stop being a people pleaser without changing your mentality so this is very helpful to changing your mindset.
2. It gives principle on setting the boundaries and retaking your control of your own life. Again, very thoughtful on this part.
3. Very practical advices on saying no to people. This is the practical part of this book, which in itself is worth the price and effort reading this book.
I can't say enough about the author and his books (including this one) helps me. I highly recommend this book and Patrick's many other books.
A few parts felt a little harsh though, saying things like people who don’t just speak their minds are trying to manipulate others. I assure you, I’m not! But obviously this had to be written by someone who has no trouble speaking up for themselves, and I can see how they might think we’re being manipulative if we don’t just say exactly what we want. If only it were that easy!
Top reviews from other countries
Thank you Patrick - this is the book I have needed for so long.
The author puts some very good home truths in there that I was not aware of such as those of us that are people pleasers may not be as nice as we think we are.
I found the book to be very very helpful and informative especially about people pleasing turning into anger which is the stage I was at before this purchase.
The end result is I’ve cut off a toxic “friend” who I was (choosing) to pander after and in effect have cut us both free.
I feel much better and confident and more importantly self aware of my own behaviour no matter how ‘ nice’ I thought I was being,
Will definitely buy more from this author. Good stuff!
It also made me face the origins of my people pleasing and learn how to 'recover'. How eye opening. How freeing!
Thank you Patrick, you have lifted a weight off my shoulders. I'm going to re-read this again soon. :-)