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How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal Book 2) by [The Oatmeal, Matthew Inman]

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The Oatmeal

Matthew Inman

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal Book 2) Kindle & comiXology

by The Oatmeal (Author), Matthew Inman (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

9,794 ratings

Book 7 of 6: The Oatmeal

Goodreads Choice Award nominee

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Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat comics in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You.

If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of cat comics, facts, and instructional guides from the creative wonderland.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat jokes. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have from Mr. Oats! A pullout poster is included at the back of the book.

Print length

136 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing
Publication date

October 9, 2012
File size

124837 KB
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From the Publisher

how to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you


	My Dog: The Paradox: A Lovable Discourse about Man's Best Friend	Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants (Volume 4)	5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)	404 Not Found: A Coloring Book by The Oatmeal (Volume 6)	Why My Cat Is More Impressive Than Your Baby	How to Be Perfectly Unhappy
Explore more from The Oatmeal!

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Forget zombies. A terrible menace looms: the purring furball. Fortunately, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You reveals the coming kitty apocalypse." (Deirdre Donahue, USA Today)

"The Oatmeal is itself an online sensation and Inman a web comics superstar, making this a surefire winner." (Publishers Weekly)

"The Oatmeal is one of the funniest and most creative sites on the Web. It mixes the absurd with the educational with the silly to get a site that appeals to all ages and types." (The Huffington Post) --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

From the Author

Brilliantly whimsical yet oddly informative, TheOatmeal.com is an entertainment Web site full of comics, quizzes, and stories. The site gets more than 5 million unique page views a month; 250,000 blogs and Web sites have linked to it. TheOatmeal.com is written, drawn, and coded by Matthew Inman, a king of all trades when it comes to the Web. Matthew lives in Seattle, Washington. He subsists on a steady diet of crickets and whiskey. He enjoys long walks on the beach, gravity, and breathing heavily through his mouth. His dislikes include scurvy, typhoons, and tapeworm medication. --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B009CGYO0K
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Andrews McMeel Publishing; Original ed. edition (October 9, 2012)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 9, 2012
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 124837 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Not enabled
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Print length ‏ : ‎ 136 pages
Lending ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled

Best Sellers Rank: #175,766 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #27 in Internet & Social Media Humor (Kindle Store)
- #48 in Pet Cats
- #65 in Comic Strips (Kindle Store)

Customer Reviews:
9,794 ratings

About the authors

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The Oatmeal
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Matthew Inman is a Web designer and developer from Seattle, Washington. He has been designing Web sites since the age of 13 and is a seasoned programmer, systems administrator, and online marketer. Matthew launched TheOatmeal.com in 2009.
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Matthew Inman
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I'm a cartoonist who lives in Seattle, Washington with two cats and two dogs. My favorite food is peanut butter and my least favorite food is an absence of peanut butter.
See more on the author's page

Customer reviews

5 star		76%
4 star		12%
3 star		6%
2 star		3%
1 star		4%

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Top reviews from the United States

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DivaLuvv

Unfunny and a waste of paper.

Reviewed in the United States on September 25, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book was a total disappointment; what it lacked in humor and/or charm it made up in meanness and pointless vulgarity. I'm no prude by any means and quite enjoy naughty humor when it's actually funny, but this book failed to get even a smile out of me, much less laughter. I question whether the artist/author even likes cats, as the themes are based on negative stereotypes of cats and seem to come from finding their behavior annoying or frustrating, not from finding it even remotely endearing (as any cat lover would.) Also worth mentioning, there's a section called "How To Tell If Your Cat Is A Raging Homosexual" that I, an acknowledged raging homosexual, found especially unfunny as it only reinforces outdated stereotypes (though not maliciously.) If I had to find something positive to say about this book, I guess it would be that it's an equal-opportunity offender: offensive to cats, offensive to humans, and offensive to a reader's intelligence. And if you're a stickler for grammar and/or spelling, keep your red pencil handy; you're going to need it. I wish I could leave a score lower than 1 star and get my money back.

128 people found this helpful

Helpful

T.L. Clark

Christians and Children BEWARE.

Reviewed in the United States on November 22, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book is a waste of money; do not be deceived by the overall high rating.
This book is NOT a book for children or Christians.
Though I bought this a few weeks ago; I got it for a Christian Cat Lady. As I looked through it just now I see the totally disgusting chapter about 'How to tell if your cat is a raging homosexual'. How is THIS supposed to be funny?! IT WILL GO INTO THE GARBAGE!!!

99 people found this helpful

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Kruppsd

What the Heck?!?!

Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book was supposed to be a Christmas gift for my daughter, but thankfully I thumbed through it before giving it to her. It is completely offensive and talked about homosexual cat tendencies, including dreaming about another cat’s penis. Huh? Thought this was supposed to be a funny book!? How deceiving!!!

71 people found this helpful

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S. Hunter

Vulgar, not very funny

Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2019

Verified Purchase

Parts of this book are very vulgar. Wish I had known that before I purchased it. Waste of money and I waited too long to return it.

59 people found this helpful

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Just us!

NOT family appropriate!

Reviewed in the United States on August 30, 2018

Verified Purchase

This is an adult book, not meant for kids!

52 people found this helpful

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Lovz 2 Shop

Okay... I purchased as a kids book NOT a KID BOOK

Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2020

Verified Purchase

This book came up in the recommended section after I put a book in my cart. The book description didn't state clearly that this is a PG13 Book. Meaning... Bad words that I wouldn't want my 7-year-old to say. I skimmed over the free inside look and it seemed funny. So, I purchased the book and it arrived in the mail. When my husband opened the package from Amazon went ahead and gave the book to our youngest, she just turned 7.

So... I discovered the book was not appropriate for a 7-year-old after the fact. It was when she started to ask me what the words were and spelled them out. She asked me how to say... UM, words that are not appropriate for her age. When I took the book she freaked out but I soon realized this book is not for anyone under the age of 14+. Maybe I'm a little strict, maybe not but it just didn't feel right to allow her to read the book. But... I sure got a laugh out of it right before it was donated.

19 people found this helpful

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Denise

Snore.....NOT purr.

Reviewed in the United States on January 12, 2019

Verified Purchase

I didn’t like it at all. Both cats are mean, ALWAYS. They’re never cute and loving. You can fantasize about the evil thoughts of cats, but not through an entire book. And there were points where I just stopped reading out of boredom. The “office” scenarios were redundant.

21 people found this helpful

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Christopher Barrett

Kitty landmines - very real - very dangerous! ;)

Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2014

Verified Purchase

If you've not read any of the 'Oatmeal' comics, well, you probably should. You can see a lot of excerpts for free on his Facebook page. Or look at the preview for this and other books of his. But if you have a really good sense of humor, and aren't afraid to laugh at yourself, then these are hilarious books. Matthew Inman is a great person and he isn't afraid to push some buttons (apparently the die hard Christians are made at him for his 'How God is Managing the Rapture' comic).

This particular book was being offered for dirt cheap on Kindle ($1.99 I think it was!). The book is a collection of many different 'sketches' (he is a computer graphics artist) and comics from over several years. Not every comic in the book deals with cats plotting to kill humans, but several do. But they all feature cats in some clever way. The 'Bob-cats' is a funny twist on office work. Other comics show the humor of cat behavior. If you don't have a cat or haven't had a cat, some of this will be unfamiliar - but still funny nonetheless. If you have a cat, then you can chuckle along at the totally real occurrence of the 'kitty land mine'. Seriously - the kitty land mine is very real, and almost always occurs on the stairs!

It's something that I like having on Kindle so that I can read it on my phone Kindle app if I'm having a blue moment. It never fails to both amuse and lift my spirits. We worth a couple of bucks.

39 people found this helpful

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David H

Purchase at your own peril.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 15, 2018

Verified Purchase

Got this as a gift for a friend. I thought it was a fun read, but in between it arriving and my wrapping it, I found the cat ominously tucked up in a corner with it. Cats are now aware of this and will likely adapt their plans accordingly. I fear I may not last much longer; she's scratching at the door as I type. Purchase this book at your own peril.

148 people found this helpful

mrs c m cryer

Not suitable for children

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 19, 2019

Verified Purchase

Bought for my 9 year old son who us cat mad. Good job I read it before I wrapped this Christmas gift. The whole book was excellent until the chapter "how to tell if your cat is gay". At no point in the description did it say not suitable for children. My son is not stupid and we are a very open family regarding relationships however the illustrations had a cat who had spelled out in cat biscuits " I heart penis". Hence he will now not get this book for several years. Disappointed

54 people found this helpful

Summer1971

Funny apart from the negative gay vibes.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 26, 2020

Verified Purchase

Bought for 13 year old son, and it’s perfect for his sense of humour and love of cats... apart from.... as I’ve seen mentioned before, the section on ‘How to tell if your cat is a raging homosexual’. Not sure how it made it to print when talking about examining the cat for gay demons and how to scare them away. Talk about perpetuating homophobia! I’ve torn this section out of the book.

25 people found this helpful

Emily

Hilarious. A MUST for cat owners!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 1, 2019

Verified Purchase

I bought this for a relative as a Christmas present but had a read before wrapping it up. I've never actually "laughed out loud" whilst reading before but this book made me on several occasions. There are quite a few chapters in this book. The "How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you" chapter is only 2-3 pages long. Others include, "How to tell if your cat thinks it is a mountain lion", "How to tell if your cat is a raging homosexual", and there is a seven-day episode comic of 2 cats called Bob which is mostly set in the office of their workplace. It is a great read and I'd recommend it for any cat owner. It took me about 40 minutes to go through so it's not very long but still worth every penny.

24 people found this helpful

chemical summer

Disappointed

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 11, 2018

Verified Purchase

The book may be great, the presentation is not. As you can see from the picture, the front and back cover is quite grubby and heavily scratched/marked. This was bought as a gift which I'm unlikely to be able to give due to its poor quality.

25 people found this helpful

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Matthew Inman
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Matthew Inman
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The Oatmeal
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Matthew Inman
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Francesco Marciuliano
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