Based on his most popular sermon series, New York Times best-selling author Timothy Keller delivers an extraordinarily insightful look at the keys to happiness in marriage.

Few subjects are as compelling-or as endlessly variable-as love and marriage. The Bible is filled with references to husbands and wives, from the story of Adam and Eve to advice in the New Testament, each open to interpretation.

In The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller, pastor of New York's Redeemer Presbyterian Church and bestselling author of The Reason for God, uses the scriptures as his guide to show readers what God's call to marriage is, and why this is such a powerful call. He talks in frank terms about the difficulties that couples have and how they can best work them out while keeping their faith in God intact.

The Meaning of Marriage showcases Keller's vast understanding of the Bible and how it can not only be relevant to relationships today but also form the foundation of a modern, healthy, loving, and long- lasting marriage.

Listening Length

8 hours and 15 minutes
Author

Timothy Keller
Narrator

Lloyd James, see all
Audible release date

November 1, 2011
Language

English
Publisher

Penguin Audio
ASIN

B0067MFBOK
Version

Unabridged
Program Type

Audiobook
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Product details

Listening Length	8 hours and 15 minutes
Author	Timothy Keller
Narrator	Lloyd James, Marguerite Gavin
Whispersync for Voice	Ready
Audible.com Release Date	November 01, 2011
Publisher	Penguin Audio
Program Type	Audiobook
Version	Unabridged
Language	English
ASIN	B0067MFBOK
Best Sellers Rank	#1,924 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals) #5 in Christian Marriage & Relationships #5 in Religious Counseling #15 in Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships

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Sarah M

Will never stop recommending this book!

Reviewed in the United States on January 26, 2019

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"Well, when Jesus looked down from the cross, he didn't think, 'I am giving myself to you because you are so attractive to me.' No, he was in agony, and he looked down at us--denying him, abandoning him, and betraying him--and in the greatest act of love in history, he STAYED. He said, 'Father, forgive them, they don't know what they are doing.' He loved us, not because we were lovely to him, but to make us lovely. That is why I am going to love my spouse. Speak to your heart like that."

Last summer, when I was 100% single, one of my good friends recommended I read this book. "Like, when I'm dating someone?" I asked. "Nope. Read it right now." And I am so glad I did. This book has gone a long way in rewiring and reframing the subtle, selfish way I look at relationships, not just romantic ones. It is a beautifully blunt study in love that never forgets to point back to the One who put that desire for love in our hearts in the first place, God.

147 people found this helpful

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Leotv

Skip the chapter on sex as Keller is absolutely clueLESS in regards to healthy, marital sex

Reviewed in the United States on June 6, 2020

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Keller needs to stay with what he knows - the biblical text, like his book "Walking with God through Pain & Suffering" is very good - and STAY completely AWAY from that which not only is he totally clueLESS, but for those of us who have thoroughly studied multiple books from very knowledgeable therapists, including reputable sexologists --> e.g. Dr. Sue Johnson - all of her books on EFT/Emotionally Focused Therapy, Wendy Maltz "Sexual Healing Journey," Patrick Carnes "Sexual Anorexia" (but always 100% ignore EVERYthing he says about sexually betrayed wives, as he is, in fact, cruelly dangerously toxic toward them, but otherwise his books are good), as well as many of the books written by Joyce & Cliff Penner, we can immediately know how very dangerous it is what Keller wrote in his chapter on sex. Keller is typical of very nearly ALL male Christian authors (except William Struthers) - and very plenty of non-Christians as well - when it comes to marital sexuality: clueLESS and extremely dangerous! for especially women! but also for men. In fact, what these authors teach will actually literally greatly traumatize and overall severely HARM women. And when a person is repeatedly traumatized in life - especially in one's sexuality, which is the core of every person's being - over time that person will develop Complex PTSD, which will manifest in either one or multiple of: biological-physiological &/or psychological &/or neurological accumulating distresses &/or disorders &/or diseases - and eventually even death. What Keller & very nearly ALL male Christian authors teach about sex is actually that of sexually objectifying the wife, which inflicts C-PTSD over time (unless she refuses to be sexual - then she will preserve herself from this trauma). These male authors, and far too many husbands overall, willfully have failed to understand that unless there is EMOTIONAL & SPIRITUAL oneness previously built and present each and every time before being sexual, they are just using her body as their vaginal masturbator, using her to relieve themselves of their seminal fluid much like they relieve themselves of their urine into a toilet. Sadly, it is NO surprise at all, after reading his chapter on sex in this book, that Keller's wife has suffered extremely severely for decades from Crohn's disease (as he wrote of in his book "Walking with God through Pain & Suffering") - in being repeatedly sexually objectified (&/or other forms of emotional &/or psychological abuse) it is extremely common for women to develop severe GI issues (the gut/intestinal tract is what neuro-bioloigsts refer to as "The 2nd Brain"). And without emotional & spiritual oneness having been developed and being present each time, sex becomes boring, non-satisfying, and addictive - that of merely generating sex neuorochemicals - which will also frequently result in the man becoming more and more sexually objectifying her-abusing her-wanting her to do more and more sexual acts which are demeaning/degrading to her...or he will go to adultery sources like pornography and multiple other acting-out sexual behaviors - all in pursuit of generating his sex neurochemicals. Read Struthers' superb book "Wired for Intimacy" to learn about male neurological-biological sexuality. Also, if Keller had at all studied human sexuality, he would know that it is not at all common - nor is it important - for both partners to have an orgasm at the same time, as Keller mentions is what he wants. He and all husbands need to work with their wife to help her come to an orgasm FIRST, and if and when she is not able to have an orgasm, then IN LOVE he stops himself from having his orgasm. It is woefully selfish and sinful for a husband to demand and march right on ahead achieving his orgasm, taking HIS sexual pleasure and release when she has not been able to do so - this is objectifying her/using her as his vaginal masturbator and it WILL traumatize her - unless she avoids sex like the plague in the future. There IS A REASON WHY she is not able to have an orgasm, and the husband who loves her will work with her & read books by the above therapists & maybe seeing a reputable sexologist. Husbands need to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to help her to also have a good marital sexual experience - which includes her having an orgasm - which HER body and brain yearn for JUST AS MUCH AS HIS does! All husbands need to MAN UP and STOP being narcissistic lovers who traumatize their wives. Yeah, and so very husbands wonder WHY their wives avoid sex like the plague, or just lie there in a disassociated trauma state while he does his thing and gets the release he so desperately demands. If the wife is unable to fairly easily and regularly achieve an orgasm, it is very highly likely that her HUSBAND is quite FULLY the reason why - due to his sexually objectifying her by pursing his sex neurochemicals drug high as his main priority and thus traumatizing her brain and body in the process - and typical of someone in a traumatized state, her sexual body will shut down into a form of disassociated trauma state. A side note: if men are having difficulty with premature ejaculations - which the definition of this is that of having an ejaculation BEFORE his wife - or that of a soft or absent erection (though men with diabetes or cardiovascular problems can have a physiological basis to their difficulties), here's what to do --> STOP! fondling your genitals in the shower and any other place - including all masturbation (read the book "The Practical Encyclopedia of Sex & Health" by Stefan Bechtal for a more full explanation); STOP looking at ALL forms of porn; STOP lusting all throughout the day at other people's bodies. What you're doing is literally frying your brain's sex receptors and royally screwing up and gradually destroying your relational sexual performance, pleasure and satisfaction. When you totally and permanently stop all of the above, you will be amazed at how much more you will find it works toward developing a wonderful, relational, satisfying sexual relationship for BOTH your WIFE and YOU! However, if you've been sexually objectifying your wife and otherwise abusive husband for years/decades, don't expect that she will heal overnight! There's a good chance that she will need trauma treatment like EMDR. Also, you have to DAILY prove yourself to her OUTside the bedroom that you LOVE HER, and work diligently to become and remain emotionally & spiritually one with her. And as has been said for decades: the sexual relationship within a marriage, or lack thereof, is indicative of the entire state of the marriage. Again, do read Struthers' excellent book "Wired for Intimacy"!

135 people found this helpful

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YouneedabiscuitTop Contributor: Makeup

A Marriage Book- That Actually Speaks to Singles?!

Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2017

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Disclaimer: I am a big fan of Tim Keller's theology, my old church was a grandchild church plant of Redeemer (Redeemer planted our "mother" church in San Francisco = grandchild church?), and my cousin attends Redeemer in New York. But I am also a thirty-something Christian single female, who has dodged a lot of sympathetic sighing from well-intentioned people. Keller and his wife, Kathy, are well aware of the myriad of mixed messages Christian singles receive and they don't sidestep this often neglected group in their excellent book. As the daughter of a forty+ year Christ-centric marriage I can also see how the instruction they give is invaluable to married couples. They don't offer a five step if you do this, this, and this you will attract a godly mate, instead it's a Bible based exploration of why God gave us marriage and what it means for everyone- single or married, divorced, separated, widowed, etc.

81 people found this helpful

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Erik Olson

Biblical, God-centered, well-written, and practical

Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2018

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The kids told my wife and me that this year they weren't coming home for Thanksgiving, so we decided we'd use the long weekend instead for our own little marriage retreat. We found an little farmhouse about an hour away offering a loft apartment for a three-day rental, and the two of us each brought a copy of Keller's book and spent those days working through the book, chapter by chapter. Both Tim and Kathy shaped the book, and Kathy directly wrote at least one chapter. I appreciated their honesty, biblical foundation, God-centeredness, and practical counsel.

60 people found this helpful

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Kindle Customer

Great insights on how to have a Christ-centred marriage

Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2018

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I found this book extremely insightful about God's intent for marriage. It is good not just for the married or soon-to-be married, but also for those who are single who may feel that marriage is an end-goal and be tempted to settle for a non-Christian partner because of the temporal pleasures it bring. God's intent for married couples is to love each other selflessly, be forgiving to each other's flaws, and help each other grow to be more Christ-like, because of the grace of God's love and sacrifice for us. Knowing God's intent for marriage and seeing how it's supposed to work through the personal examples shared by the Kellers has helped me learn how to apply those principles in my life.

20 people found this helpful

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Reader

Not right book for me

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 30, 2020

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I tried to like this book - I really did. I even ordered it twice having put it away the first time. I find it very dry and didn't enjoy it. I also didn't feel particularly encouraged either. I've been exploring the Catholic faith and was delighted to find a shorter book: Cherishing Your Wedding by Kerry Urdzik much more to my liking and preference. This is simply my personal opinion; I can see that others have loved this book.

4 people found this helpful

Mr Daniel Normington, MA

and anytime in your marriage you need to give some attention to what it's all about so it works like it should

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 24, 2017

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Vintage Keller. Along with e.g. John Piper's 'This Momentary Marriage', the less theological, more practical 'Sex, Romance and the Glory of God' by CJ Mahaney, and 'Intimate Allies' by Allender and Longman, I give this to every young couple getting married in my church. Tremendously helpful during engagement, and anytime in your marriage you need to give some attention to what it's all about so it works like it should!

9 people found this helpful

Kenan Berker

Don't wait to be in a relationship before reading this

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 19, 2015

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Great theological and practical view on marriage and human relationships in general. Using Ephesians 5 as a base text, Tim and his wife Kathy basically give an extended opening up of the passage, which reveals amazing views of God's design and purpose for marriage and it's reflection of a triune God, as well as very real, practical advice about seeking, maintaining and delighting in a marriage relationship.

As I said in the review title, you will hopefully learn as much about God through this book as you will about relationship advice, so don't need to be contemplating marriage any time soon to read it. The Kellers also give great advice on what to seek in a potential spouse, showing how Christian values are very different from what our (particularly western) culture says we need to find a partner.

Chapter 7 is on singleness which I found really helpful and also challenging to my own views. They make the case that Christianity is one of the few world views which holds singleness in high regard and not a lesser life. It is in the church, the family of God, that singles are able to learn and grow from time with the opposite sex, in an obviously less intense way than marriage, but nonetheless just as effectively. Also a challenge to churches to love and support singles, not making them feel, in the worst case scenario, as second class Christians.

20 people found this helpful

Mr. T. E. Rochester

Solidly Biblical and Emotionally Satisfying

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 20, 2013

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I purchased this book as I am considering marrying my long-term girlfriend and wanted some advice as to what biblical marriage consists of.

Having previously read some of Keller's other books (EG The Reason for God, The Prodigal God), I found the writing style similar: solid research backed up by years of practical wisdom as a church pastor, but with perhaps an over-reliance on CS Lewis, his favourite author.

Some may disagree with his positions concerning biblical headship, but he only mentions this in terms of the household, not church leadership, though I suspect he would reject the Egalitarian position there. Kathy's chapter on this is very useful.
Similarly, his belief that sex should only be enjoyed within marriage (the focus of Chapter 8), and that marriage is for one man and one woman only may strike some as homophobic or constricting, but this book is unashamedly for Christians, or for those wanting to know what a Christian marriage consists of. All of his opinions are firmly backed up from scripture.

Overall, I found this book very helpful. It confirmed much of what I already expected, but also gave me new insights and analogies I had never considered before.

13 people found this helpful

Edwin

The Bible of Marriage

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 7, 2017

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What a beautiful book this is, the depth of insight in a marriage, a friend of mine borrowed me this book and I couldn't wait to get myself a copy so I can write my own notes in it, my marriage is not perfect and I admit the book has given me a greater perspective as to how I can handle myself as a husband to my wife, I'd recommend this book to any man/woman who are dedicated in building their relationships and marriage in Gods way

3 people found this helpful

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