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About Thomas Hill
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In this classic parody, Thomas Hill presents the testosterone-inspired answer to the best-seller What to Expect When You're Expecting.
* This completely revised and updated edition of the best-selling parody humorously guides fathers-to-be through nine months of 21st-century baby preparations.
Complete with weird baby names, tips on how to avoid a sympathetic pregnancy, and a discourse on the evolution of ESPN and the role it plays postdelivery, Hill's tome has been thoroughly revised to account for not only the usual father-to-be questions but also the often baffling and amusing technological and medical advances awaiting today's four million expectant dads.
* This hilarious month-by-month guide offers new and veteran dads solace, laughter, and a bit of useful information, including a question-and-answer chapter covering basics like How much does having a baby cost?; visual charts assessing such things as the breakdown behind the mom-to-be's weight gain; sidebars covering common wife complaints and anticipated purchases; and much more.
With this lighthearted, month-by-month instruction manual on the care and nurture of a pregnant wife—the main role of expectant dads—he'll handle all the important milestones and topics: what not to say during the three phases of labor; what to buy, how many, and when; maintaining work-life balance; maintaining work-life-wife balance.
New features in What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding include:
- The minefield: the wrong gifts for your pregnant wife
- Social media pregnancy etiquette: status update!
- Eight reasons why not to pick out maternity clothes
What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding also features the latest trends!
- Festive gender-reveal parties. (Really!)
- Updated baby name guide, including Twitter hash tags.
- Cloth diapers: The debate is back!
Why are all parenting books directed at mommies? Daddies need help, too. In fact, when you think about it, they may need more help than their naturally maternal mates do. They need guidance, comfort, and validation. They probably also need a good night's sleep, and they definitely need a good laugh.
What the Heck Were You Expecting? provides month-by-month counsel for the spit-up covered, the sleep deprived, and the just plain peek-a-booed out, including such subjects as:What your wife might be complaining about (. . . anything she can think of)
What your above-average child may be doing (. . . paying attention to small objects)
What you might be concerned about (. . . the meaning of life)
A couple of things to say to let her know that you're caring, sensitive, and up on the required reading (. . . "Listen to this one: Statistics show that attendance at work is better among married men with children and spikes even higher among fathers of newborns. Quite a coincidence, huh?")
Thomas Hill, registered father and author of the best-selling What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding, answers every father's questions about:
ESPN as Edu-tainment
Horsy Knee Burn
Zen and the Art of Spoon-feeding
Basics of Crib Assembly
Nap Time . . . and How to Hide It from Your Boss
. . .among other topics.