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About Tina Swithin
"One of the best Divorce books of all time" - BookAuthority
Tina Swithin survived a “Category Five Divorce Hurricane” while acting as her own attorney in a high-conflict custody battle that turned her family’s life upside down for ten-years. While divorces are never easy, Tina quickly learned that a divorce involving an individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) takes the term, “high-conflict” to a level that few can comprehend. To articulate what was happening, she took shelter from the storm by chronicling her journey in her (now) internationally recognized blog, “One Mom’s Battle.” Tina’s plight grew from just one mom to a village of tens of thousands who all share the same story. There were different variations and nuances, but the common denominator was Narcissistic Personality Disorder and post-separation abuse.
With all odds against her, Tina’s battle came to an end on August 30, 2019, when she successfully terminated her ex-husband’s parental rights. Throughout her ten-year battle, she waded through the muddy waters of the courtroom which was filled with the lies and manipulation which go hand-in-hand with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Tina has chosen to assume the title of survivor versus victim and has become an advocate for change in the Family Court System after seeing the flaws first-hand. Tina has authored five books, Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle, Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield, Divorcing a Narcissist: Rebuilding After the Storm, The Narc Decoder: Understanding the Language of the Narcissist, and Lemonade Life, her first children’s book.
Tina believes that the courts have lost sight of their primary focus, which should be the best interest of the child and instead, are too focused on mothers’ rights and fathers’ rights. Tina is working to raise awareness of the issues in the Family Court System and to educate the general public on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and post-separation abuse. Children are suffering unnecessarily due to the lack of education on the front lines—and behind the judicial bench.
Tina Swithin has been awarded honors such as the “Top 20 Professionals Under 40” and the “Top 40 Professionals Under 40” in several regional California newspapers. Tina resides in San Luis Obispo, California with her husband and her two daughters. She enjoys coffee shops, good friends, red wine and lots of laughter. Tina prides herself on keeping her cup half full.
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In her book, Tina will explain how a smart, independent woman can fall prey to a narcissistic man. Tina discusses the red flag reflections that she chose to ignore while dating and during the marriage. Tina acted as her own attorney in an extremely high-conflict divorce and she will share the strategies that helped her to navigate through this battle while maintaining her sanity and sense of humor. Tina will help you to feel less alone in your journey and will assure you that there is light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark things are right now. While Tina endured a tumultuous 6-year custody battle, she prevailed and today, her daughters have peace.
Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield- Prior to stepping onto the battlefield with a Narcissist, it is imperative to know their playbook both forwards and backwards. The behavior of individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder generally defies logic but sadly, their tactics in the Family Court System often fool Judges, Commissioners, Attorneys, Minor’s Counsel, Social Workers, Therapists and even trained Evaluators. Narcissists are the masters of manipulation and projection and are known to launch stealth assaults that will leave their victims in an utter state of confusion and desperation. Victims are often left shattered and without a voice because they feel that no one could possibly believe or understand what they are silently enduring.
Author, Tina Swithin, understands what it’s like to divorce a narcissist. Tina spent over four years on the battlefield of the Family Court System while acting as her own attorney in a desperate attempt to protect her two young daughters. While Tina’s first book, Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle details Tina’s personal journey and court battle, her new book offers solid advice and sanity-saving wisdom for transforming from victim to survivor. Education is power and Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield is your personal guide and resource for navigating through high-conflict divorce.
Receive advice for every stage of the battle:
• Leaving the Narcissist: Strategies and advice
• Divorcing: Advice on attorneys, tactical moves, courtroom preparation, anxiety/PTSD, evaluations and more.
• Narc Decoder: Learn to decode emails and communication.
• Children: Sharing custody, sheltering children and breaking the cycle.
• Life Beyond the Narcissist: Loving again, personal growth and healing.
• Stories of Hope
In my mid-twenties, I contemplated learning multiple foreign languages. I envisioned dabbling in French to successfully make my way around Paris or Irish Gaelic to explore the rich history of Ireland along with my deep ancestral roots in that country. My day dreams about learning new languages always went hand in hand with the imagery of world travel. The thought of exploring exotic and old world places far away from home intrigued me. My mind summoned several foreign adventures, but never did I think I would need to learn a foreign language to navigate my own life.
In 2008, I heard the words, “Narcissistic Personality Disorder” (NPD) to describe my then-husband, Seth. It took a couple years for the reality of those three little words to really sink in. Looking back, the red flags had been waving in the wind since our very first date. Those flags grew taller and more vibrant in color during our marriage. As it turns out, those same red flags that had been lining my path for years were dipped in a highly flammable mixture of kerosene. I realized the danger only when they exploded near the end of my marriage. Like any unexpected explosion, I was unprepared and left nursing deep, emotional, third-degree burns.
In my research, I discovered a new language which took quite a bit of studying and insight on NPD to understand. As it turns out, the reason that I was so bewildered by Seth’s communication style was that we were speaking completely different languages. I spoke the English version of “human” while he was speaking the non-human “Narc-ish.” I am convinced there is a Narc-ish dictionary or manual hidden deep in a dark, musty hole somewhere in a faraway land with step-by-step instructions on how to inflict fear, confusion and despair. From this land, narcissists hail. Their secret language can only be decoded by those who aren’t fooled by the narcissist’s stealth ability to inflict confusion and chaos with it.
My computer has a feature that allows me to translate most languages. However, this particular area of my life requires technology that is a bit savvier. Need is the catalyst of industry: and I was in need of a device to decipher Narc-ish. So, I invented one. I call it the “Narc Decoder” and have made life-altering good use of it. The good news is, everyone has access to the Narc Decoder because it is a machine that I am honored to replicate and share with anyone who is forced to communicate with a narcissist. Once you understand how to use the Narc Decoder, your life will change for the better. You will become empowered and will regain your voice. Over time, you will begin to find humor in the communication style that once left you on your knees begging for mercy.
A true ‘lemon to lemonade’ story, Tina has rebuild her life and thrives in the aftermath of the Life Storm that threatened to destroy her. Tina has found solace is sharing her internationally recognized story with others in her series, “Divorcing a Narcissist.” She has dedicated her life to advocacy and consulting with others facing the same battles. In her new book, “Rebuilding After the Storm,” Tina takes her readers through the steps to rebuild their lives and thrive post-narcissist. Dr. Craig Malkin, psychology instructor at Harvard Medical School states, “If you need to start over, this is the woman you want holding your hand through the process.”
There are some lemons that you may barely notice, and then there are the ones that knock you straight upside the head! Maybe a bully threw a lemon as quick as lightning and knocked the wind right out of you! Maybe your lemon is a really yucky divorce in your family. Maybe your lemon is that someone you loved very much died. Those lemons sure do sting!
Your lemons might be illness, bullying, friendship problems, parents fighting, divorce, or other yucky, painful things. But, you can find ways to stay positive no matter how many lemons life throws at you! While it wasn’t always easy, I have learned that making lemonade from life’s sour lemons becomes easier and easier the more you do it. No matter how difficult things may seem, it is always possible to live a Lemonade Life.