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Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism: New Edition with Author Updates Kindle Edition
“If you’ve ever wondered, ‘What is going through my child’s mind? Why can’t he get social interactions?’ then this book is for you! ‘A-ha!’ moments abound.”
Veronica Zysk, editor of Autism/Asperger’s Digest and this book, both published by Future Horizons.
About the Author
Barron is a graduate of Youngstown State University. --This text refers to the hardcover edition.
- ASIN : B071KTJ255
- Publisher : Future Horizons; 2nd edition (April 1, 2017)
- Publication date : April 1, 2017
- Language : English
- File size : 2271 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 476 pages
- Lending : Not Enabled
- Best Sellers Rank: #148,448 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Reviewed in the United States on March 30, 2011
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This book features two famous and successful autistic people, Temple Grandin and Sean Barron (confession: I had never heard of Sean Barron, and had to Google him) talking about their own experiences, what they've learned, and ten "unwritten rules" of social relationships. Linking and amplifying some of the information in their contributions are commentary and explanatory notes by their editor, Veronica Zysk.
Grandin and Barron are two very different people, and their autism affected them in very different ways. (Common comment heard in discussions of autism: If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism.)
Temple Grandin thinks in pictures, and approaches the world and its puzzles and problems in a very logical, analytical way. Sean Barron is very emotionally oriented, As a child, he approached the world in what he saw as a logical way, but when the world and other people didn't fall in line with his logic and his "rules," he would quickly be pushed into emotional meltdowns fueled by anger. Even though Grandin had more logical tools to apply, for much of the early part of her life she didn't have enough information and images in her mind about social interactions and social relationships to come up with the right solutions. This was true despite her mother being very aware of her needs, and sensitive to when she was going into sensory overload, and getting her to a quiet place when that happened. She also very systematically taught Temple basic manners, appropriate behavior, the art of small talk. These things, and the firm insistence that, autistic or not autistic, everyone is responsible for their own behavior, She still had a hard time, but she had some structure to work with. Like Sean Barron, she had to work on controlling her anger--and that's something I had to work on, too. It's frustrating beyond words, when you think you've followed all the rules, and it doesn't produce the expected results.
Sean Barron, because he was much more emotional in his reactions overall, and possibly because his mother perhaps didn't understand his meltdowns and their triggers as well, had a much harder time learning appropriate behavior and managing to comply with it. One of the aspects he talks about most is not understanding the importance of taking some basic care with his appearance--showers, combed hair, appropriate choice of clothing and making sure your clothing is arranged appropriately.
I found Temple Grandin's contributions far more relatable than Sean Barron's, but that's because I found her experience of being autistic much more like my own. That isn't true for everyone; there will be many for whom Sean Barron's experiences will be far more familiar and relatable. That's part of the value of this book. By including both sets of experiences, more people will find enough to connect with that this book will be useful and helpful for them.
After the first portion of the book, introducing Grandin's and Barron's basic experiences and approaches, that latter part of the book takes each of the ten "unwritten rules" in turn, presenting the rules themselves and the two authors' experiences in mastering the lessons embodied in each rule. It's a useful, helpful approach, and enlightening for both autistic adults, and for parents and teachers working with autistic children.
It's also important to note that this revised edition contains in each section additional comments from Grandin and Barrion, written in 2017, for this edition. It updates and further strengthens the book.
I bought this book.
Neurotypicals have the luxury of not paying much attention to these rules since they are automatic and don't require much energy or intellectual processing - it's a place of privilege.
To be precise, I want a navigation map, with info generated by aspie for aAnecdotspies. This book had too much on the generation process and little on the map itself. It is too verbose. Most of the books consists of the experience of the writes. Experiences that are very famliar and relatable. I want the rules, more than the experiences. By the time we got the rules, there are mostly what I already picked up and would be more useful to give to aspergers who had not realised that about himself. The explanation of the rules are still in the autobiographical formats. This is why skipped most of it. I want a more variety of perspectives on why those rules work and how bet to execution them. The book is too verbose, more of a pair of autobiographies than anything else. Aspergers tend to overwrite, of course, but "avoid useless words" is one of the best rule on writing. I will reread it. I prefer somethings similar to the art of war. State a thesis, explain it, with examples on how best to execute it and why the execution failed. For this one, it is more two aspergers describing their personal experences.
However, the book takes FAR too long to get to the point. I'm 18% of the way through, and Dr. Grandin is still babbling about her own experiences that largely have nothing to do with giving insight to advancing social skills. I lament not being able to skip it so I could point out to the public how dumb a large portion of this book is, along with the headache I have now, thanks to Grandin.
Shut up and get to the point already, woman!