The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant Audible Audiobook – Unabridged
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one.
Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive". Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.
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|Listening Length||7 hours and 2 minutes|
|Whispersync for Voice||Ready|
|Audible.com Release Date||February 24, 2015|
|Best Sellers Rank|| #6,405 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals) |
#17 in Paranormal Fantasy for Teens
#17 in Paranormal Mystery, Thriller & Suspense for Teens
#68 in Teen & Young Adult Vampire Fiction
Top reviews from the United States
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I'm not sure how to even begin to explain this book. The first thing that struck me was the title. It's the longest title for a book that I have read and I read a lot of books but it stood out in its oddity, I mean most book titles are short and to the point. The next thing that struck me was the words of the title. If I took them at face value I was in for an "Uninteresting and Unadventurous" read.
Let me assure you that I was not uninterested and it certainly was not unadventurous although, Fred would maybe best be described as a wet paper towel at the beginning of the story who would fold like a cheap suit at even a loud unexpected noise. As a vampire, you would think that his life would have changed and he would be one of those mythical badasses but you'd be wrong, well about the badass part anyway, as his life most certainly changed in the most unexpected ways.
Now knowing that the lead character is an accountant, a group not really known for their badassery, and given that he has an aggressive streak about as strong as a Kola bear, you may be thinking, why would I read this book? and that's a fair point. Because it's the other characters that come into Fred's life unbidden and seemingly at some of the most terrifying times, that make this a very interesting read.
I have read a lot of paranormal and fantasy books and I can tell you I have never, let me say that again, never, read about wereponies. If that one word alone doesn't have you ready to push the "Buy" button then maybe you should just keep looking as this may not be the book for you.
I admit that as the book went I was expecting (hoping more like it) that Freddie would somehow break out of his naturally ingrained instinct to run and hide like a cockroach caught out when the lights suddenly come on and it wasn't until a character said later in the book that "Fred was one of those people that somehow manages to pull through when the chips are down, even despite himself" that I started to appreciate his character.
The only thing I will say is that the biggest hesitation for buying this book was the price, now I know that six bucks isn't bad but I'm cheap and read a lot of books so price is a huge thing for me especially on an unknown author and the ONLY reason I did decide to give it a shot was because of who recommended it. There are very few books I will spend over four bucks for but at the end of the day, I really enjoyed it and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm insanely curious as to the future adventures of Freddie and his band of misfits.
Synopsis (from back cover): Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.
One fateful night – different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful – Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to “survive.” Because even after it’s over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.
Fred's life was rather boring and unremarkable - an accountant dedicated to his job, his ability to navigate social situations was hindered by his timid and non-confrontational nature. After being killed and waking up as a vampire Fred's life resumed mostly as normal, with the exception of drinking blood and avoiding sunlight. His staid existence was shaken up when he made the fateful decision to attend his high school reunion, which brought him into contact with an old acquaintance who ran in similar circles to his in school, Krystal. Reuniting with Krystal thrust Fred into a wider world of parahumans and the disorder they unleash on the world, allowing him an opportunity to become a bit braver and assertive as he attempts to survive the messes he finds himself in.
While following a relatable and generally likable character, the writing is entertaining and humorous as situations continually unfold for Fred and company to navigate through. These tales are quite episodic in nature, with novellas linked together under a common thread of Fred and friends; it was easy to envision with the descriptive scenarios that take place and the creative ways that supernatural beings are incorporated within the world and story. It was a bit odd that the text continually covered the same basic information regarding characteristics of each character at the start of each new tale of a wild (mis)adventure about to commence even though the stories are presented in one volume that seems to follow a chronological arc.
Overall, I'd give it a 3.5 out of 5 stars.