Sometimes, we are hit with a situation that does not allow us to grieve: We're not in the right place/time/moment. Grief is terribly inconvenient.
Additionally, sometimes our mind instinctively understands that if we are allowed to grief (in the moment): There is no going back. It can completely consume and even eradicate us. Some things are just too big.
The loss of his brother, so suddenly, so MINDLESSLY (when we replay all the versions of how this could have gone down, how we could have saved to day, how this, how that...all the billions of versions of an alternate ending) reminds me of this very thing, this very BEAST that Grief can become/is. In this world, in this reality, I think this entire movie is about Wesley. How Val could not grieve his brother properly (if there is such a thing), and this is where he is now.
I noted that Val uses humor to deal with grief. The silly string, the faux keeling over (you can audibly hear his son brimming on tears) toward the ending of the movie (another END): We might think it's improper, even rude/cruel...but this is a guy who has been grappling with the NON display of grief over his baby brother. He was what...? All of 17yrs old...? He's still STUCK there. It's obvious.
The fact that he got divorce papers on set and then acting a little out there...another 'death' of something he loved; it's no wonder he was making people mental on set, he was having a borderline breakdown, it would seem.
Making video notes for decades on behalf of a brother he'll never see again: That's what this whole movie is about. It should have been Wesley holding the camera, all this time. Something he was sharing with a non-present family member, a form of grief manifesting. A grief he can only do THIS way, because any other way would have meant breaking into pieces at a time when he absolutely could NOT. The timing really could not have been worse.
I've still not grieved for my younger daughter. It's been three years, and I know, I KNOW that if I go there...my mind just might not come back.
I get it Val, I do.