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When Sorry Isn't Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love Kindle Edition
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From the Back Cover
“I said I was sorry!”
Even in the best of relationships, all of us make mistakes. We do and say things we later regret and hurt the people we love most. So we need to make things right. But simply saying you’re sorry is usually not enough.
In this book, #1 New York Times bestselling author Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas unveil new ways to effectively approach and mend fractured relationships. Even better, you’ll discover how meaningful apologies provide the power to make your friendships, family, and marriage stronger than ever before.
When Sorry Isn’t Enough will help you . . .
· Cool down heated arguments
· Offer apologies that are fully accepted
· Rekindle love that has been dimmed by pain
· Restore and strengthen valuable relationships
· Trade in tired excuses for honesty, trust, and joy
This book was previously published as The Five Languages of Apology. Content has been significantly revised and updated.--This text refers to the paperback edition.
About the Author
Gary Chapman is the author of the best-selling 5 Love Languages® series and the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio program airs on more than 400 stations. For more information, visit www.5lovelanguages.com.
Jennifer Thomas helps people know what to say when communication proves challenging. She is a best-selling author, speaker, and psychologist with a doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Maryland and a BA in psychology and religion from the University of Virginia. Jennifer and her husband live in North Carolina and have three cute, noisy children. Visit her online at www.drjenthomas.com.
- ASIN : B00B7TGZSY
- Publisher : Northfield Publishing; 1st edition (April 22, 2013)
- Publication date : April 22, 2013
- Language : English
- File size : 3158 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 174 pages
- Page numbers source ISBN : 0802407048
- Lending : Enabled
- Best Sellers Rank: #90,347 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
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Top reviews from the United States
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This book analyzes apologies and pushes you towards understanding not only the value of a good apology, but how to make sure you're most effective in delivering that apology. To be clear, this isn't a book that teaches you how to lie through an apology and get away with things, but a book that teaches you (with examples) how to deliver a sincere apology and what happens next. It goes through several hangups that may be stopping you from reconciling with loved ones, and is realistic about what to expect after.
Keep in mind that this isn't a silver bullet or a step-by-step guide on how to reconcile, but it certainly gives you a good framework to go from. There's an aspect of self-discovery involved, and even after the apology, this book is clear that you're at the mercy of the recipient of your apology, so no false promises of being forgiven right away (or even at all!).
Now, the less than awesome (at least in my mind). This book assumes some level of Christian faith, and while that's not always a bad thing in moderation, this veers over towards more of a religious counselor style book at times. If you're not Christian, portions of this book that use examples from the Christian texts may bore or just water the point of the story being told down. Ignore the religious aspects and focus on what the moral of the story being told is, and you'll get through it.
This is not a theology book. It's a practical how-to book. You'll find some Scriptures, and it's written from a Christian worldview, but mainly Thomas and Chapman draw on their years of counselling experience. The facts of sin and repentance are already assumed; they're out to tell you how to put that knowledge to practical use. They had a lot of stories with couples, singles, young and old, family and friends, to give a wide scope of how these principles work. I found the life experience aspect a refreshing inclusion.
In some ways this book was a hard, hard read. I have an extremely tender conscience, with an extreme perfectionism streak. This makes it difficult to accept messing up, while at the same time I don't like ignoring what I've done wrong. It is difficult to go through the apology process, but the older I get, the more I want an authentic, growing relationship with Christ and with family and friends. In that sense, it was convicting.
On the other hand, some of it was incredibly healing. The author duo explain that it's not wrong to want justice, as long as you handle that desire righteously. Nor does forgiveness mean that your memory is wiped of the event. Nor should you allow people to manipulate you with poor and insincere apologies.
Nor should you implode and refuse to forgive yourself.
As for the apology languages themselves? Oftentimes the way you give an apology is your personal language. So think of the last one you gave, and what you said--any of the phrases up top ring with you? My apology language is Expressing Regret, with Accepting Responsibility being a close second. (Though in rare cases I feel pretty strongly about Making Restitution.)
I appreciated this teaching, would highly recommend it, and hope to read it again. I think I'll need some time to fully process it; but I was so blessed by When Sorry Isn't Enough, and I hope you will be too.
Top reviews from other countries
Great fir therapists to offer to couples clients and for anyone hoping to find a way through their needs when someone has hurt them or how to apologise with meaning to another person.
Wish I had read a 5 minute summary without the rest. Really disappointing