Top positive review
I've always wanted to look like a Tim Burton + H.P Lovecraft thing
Reviewed in the United States on July 11, 2020
People were always so terrified when I entered their houses with nothing but a bag of unusual medical implements. I'd turn up their heat to 90 degrees (sweating gets rid of any illness). But they would just demand I leave.
Sometimes I would light some incense and then scatter dried up, dead plant leaves on them... because it probably helps. All the while they'd be calling the police.
Then they would scream and throw things at me when I told them that I needed to cut them to drain excess humors. Before I'd leave, I'd let a bucket of frogs loose in their house because I was really just throwing everything at the wall and seeing what would stick.
Forsooth, I was getting frustrated with my patient's reactions. It was difficult to make progress. So I procured this... thing.
Now people welcome me, and they don't mind that I sometimes pour a bucket of amphibians on them, as I am finally compliant with the local requirements to wear a mask during covid.