Do your marriage a favor and read this book with your spouse. My wife and I read and discussed one chapter a day and it proved to be a great guide for discussion. Not preachy and not filled with religious BS like several others I tried to read. The first chapters are just him fluffing his ego but it does give some credibility to his results and advice. Read this before you read the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, it lays the foundation you will need for the more "soft" discussions the Seven Principles books leads you through. Skip the Gary Chapman love languages book, this book is actually effective and getting the real problems in your marriage out on the table so you can solve them. This book saved my marriage.