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About Jeff Strand
Jeff Strand is a four-time nominee (and zero-time winner, but c'mon, he lost to Stephen King TWICE!) of the Bram Stoker Award. He is a two-time nominee and one-time WINNER!!!! of the Splatterpunk Award.
His novels are usually classified as horror, but they're really all over the place, almost always with a great big dose of humor. He's written five young adult novels that all fall into the "really goofy comedy" category.
Several of his books are in development as motion pictures, and he's mostly not allowed to blab any details, which he finds MADDENING.
He lives in Atlanta, Georgia with his wife and one gigantic freaking cat.
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Though Darren Rust is serving a life sentence in prison, Alex Fletcher is desperate to escape the shadow of his former best friend. Darren is a psychopath who thought he’d found somebody who would kill with him, and when he realized he was wrong, he took everything from Alex. Losing his family—and coping with the heinous act Darren forced him to commit—is too much. Alex is unable to have a normal social life.
Until he meets Luna Booth.
She’s fun. Intelligent. Sexy. She’s exactly what he needs right now. Alex may not have found his soulmate, but he’s found somebody that he loves spending time with. Somebody who doesn’t mind the nightmarish skeletons in his closet.
In fact, she may be too understanding. Too interested. And she may have a very dark and twisted secret…
The perfect blend of horror and humor, I Have a Bad Feeling About This is a laugh-out-loud wilderness comedy about an ultimate survival camp that takes a deadly turn...
Wilderness Survival Tip #1
Drinking your own sweat will not save your life. Somebody might have told you that, but they were trying to find out if you'd really do it.
Wilderness Survival Tip #2
In case of an avalanche, don't despair. You're doomed, but that's a wicked cool death.
Wilderness Survival Tip #3
If you're relying on this book for actual survival tips, you're dead already.
Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors—but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp.
Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...Perfect for those looking for:
Also by Jeff Strand:
A Bad Day for Voo Doo
The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever
How You Ruined My Life
Stranger Things Have Happened
Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years…
They met first in boarding school at age twelve. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious. There was a sleazy strip club, you see, and every once in a while the back door opened just long enough to maybe catch a quick glimpse…
Though a bond was formed from their pre-pubescent interest in naked women, Darren had another interest. A morbid curiosity about death. A curiosity that turned into something much more sinister.
They crossed paths again in college and became the best of friends. But Darren wasn't just looking for a friend. He had dark, ghastly urges squirming around in his head, and he believed he saw the same things—the urge to hurt, the urge to kill—in Alex. He was looking for somebody who understood. A partner.
But Alex could never become a monster. Not even when Darren tried to bring out his friend's most deeply buried feelings of rage. Not even when Darren tried to show him the euphoria of having that much power over another human being. It just couldn't happen…right?
Now Alex has a wife and a daughter. And Darren is back. He's hiding. He's patient. His mind is twisted in the worst possible way.
And he's seeking a soulmate.
Curtis saw it happen. He knows exactly who did it.
But he can't prove that it was his neighbor Gerald Martin. The authorities find no evidence of the crime. There's nothing they can do.
So he's going to confront Mr. Martin himself.
And this is just the beginning of the terrifying story…
From the author of PRESSURE and MY PRETTIES comes a nerve-wracking coming-of-age thriller.
Reader reviews for AUTUMN BLEEDS INTO WINTER:
"Screw this guy, seriously. How does he consistently put out book after book of awesomeness?"
"Perfectly paced, with so many anxious moments and heart pounding twists. Also, the usual amount of hilarious lines to help keep your blood pressure from redlining. Highly recommended!"
"I don’t know how he does it. I really don’t. But somehow, Jeff Strand seemingly effortlessly produces these amazingly varied, brilliantly executed, poignant, scary as hell books."
"The perfect blend of humor and suspense."
"A coming-of-age tale that would make Stephen King jealous."
"This is one of the best coming of age stories that I have read in years."
"Great read, absolutely packed with intensity. It just ramps up and up until the end."
"The pacing, humor and strong characters are classic Strand."
Uncomfortably Dark Presents...The Baker’s Dozen!
Delicious Dark Delights for your horror consumption!
Come indulge in the dark and disturbing with 13 tantalizing tales of terror written by an incredible lineup of independent horror authors. With stories ranging from delightful to disturbing, you are sure to find something to please your sweet spot.
Authors include Jeff Strand, Christine Morgan, Ruthann Jagge, Aron Beauregard, Lee Franklin, Chris Miller, Patrick C. Harrison, III, Carver Pike, Kenzie Jennings, Daniel Volpe, Rowland Bercy, Jr., Candace Nola and M. Ennenbach. Includes a special foreword by Jeff Strand.
Jason Tray is a successful cartoonist, banished to his agent’s lakeside cabin for a few days of mandatory rest and relaxation. One night, while hanging out with a couple of the locals at a dive bar, he takes them up on their offer to go “see Blister,” having no idea what they’re talking about.
He peeks through the window at the most nightmarish thing he’s ever seen.
In the morning, he wakes up, hung over and regretful. He’s better than this. He needs to…apologize?
From the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of PRESSURE, DWELLER, and WOLF HUNT comes a tale of fiendish secrets, ghastly crimes, and human monsters.
"Impossible to put down, rich with character and humor, BLISTER explodes off the page.”
— Peter Adam Salomon, Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of All Those Broken Angels
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour!
Sit back and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature’s most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you’ll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.
Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn’t even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws—you’ll see them all!
Not thrilling enough? Well, it’s Halloween, and so we’re offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you’re guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100% safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever.
“[An] absolute gem of a read…What comes next is over two hundred pages of non stop, in your face, gore drenched action…You will be exhausted by the time you reach the satisfying last page…Think Jurassic Park with bloodthirsty demons on an adrenaline rush and you have The Haunted Forest Tour.”
“James A. Moore and Jeff Strand are a literary dream team. Devout readers of the genre are in for a real treat as these two horror heavyweights combine forces and battle their characters to the bloody death…Remember how it felt to inventory and consume your candy on Halloween night? That’s the atmosphere in the forest. You feel like a glutton, like you couldn’t possibly stomach one more gooey demise, but you turn the page and unwrap another nightmare anyway.”
“Moore and Strand heap scares upon plot twists in one of the freshest and most entertaining novels in recent years. The authors offer a frightening and high-octane tale, presented as an apocalyptic disaster movie.”
Jeff Strand, whose work Publishers Weekly has called "wickedly funny" and Kirkus has called "ridiculously stupid," has had one of the least meteoric rises to success in the publishing industry. But he eventually got there, even if he should probably put "success" in quotes.
He's been at it a long time, and has learned a lot of lessons along the way. And he shares them with brutal honesty in this very book, along with plenty of hilarious (and sometimes painful) anecdotes about his career.
This is not a book that will tell you how to format a manuscript or write a compelling query letter. It's a book about how to cope with rejection and bad reviews. Book signings where nobody shows up. Helplessly watching your peers go on to greater success than you. He's been through all of that and so much more, and in these pages you'll have a bunch of laughs as you commiserate and figure out how to get through it all.
Readers are saying...
”Such an engaging and hilarious, yet utterly relatable book.”
“Jeff is endearingly, brutally honest about the realities of life as a writer.”
“Wildly entertaining, evocative, informative and inspirational.”
“Absolutely the most honest book I’ve read about writing.”
“This is what you should be forced to read in creative writing classes.”
“Has jump-started my own writing again, and for that I am truly grateful.”
“This was like sitting down to a long, funny chat with an experienced friend.”
“One of the most fun and relatable non-fiction books you're likely to read all year.”
“Funny and encouraging, and despite all the hilarious anecdotes about mistakes and unglamorous moments, I've never felt more confident in my decision to continue writing like my life depends on it.”
“The Writing Life isn't going to teach you how to become a bestselling author. It's going to teach you what one very good author has learned along the way and do so in a way that will make your sides hurt from laughing.”
“I love this book just as much as Stephen King's ON WRITING.”
“My favorite non-fiction book of 2020.”
A DYING MAN’S GREATEST TREASURE…
Mortimer Moorecook, retired Wall Street raider, avid collector, is losing his fight against cancer. With weeks to live, a package arrives at the door of his hillside mansion—an artifact he paid millions for…a hominoid skull with elongated teeth, discovered in a farmer’s field in the Romanian countryside. With Shanna, his beautiful research assistant looking on, he sinks the skull’s razor sharp fangs into his neck, and immediately goes into convulsions.
OPENS THE DOOR TO AN ANCIENT EVIL...
A rural hospital. A slow night in the ER. Until Moorecook arrives strapped to a gurney, where he promptly codes and dies.
WHERE DEATH IS JUST THE BEGINNING.
Four well-known horror authors pool their penchants for scares and thrills, and tackle one of the greatest of all legends, with each writer creating a unique character and following them through a vampire outbreak in a secluded hospital.
The goal was simple: write the most intense novel they possibly could.
Which they did.
A Word of Warning:
Within these pages, you will find no black capes, no satin-lined coffins, no brooding heartthrobs who want to talk about your feelings. Forget sunlight and stakes. Throw out your garlic and your crosses. This is the Anti-TWILIGHT.
NOTE: DRACULAS is a full length novel, 80,000 words long. But this ebook is also brimming with an additional 80,000 words of extras and bonuses:
- a clickable table of contents
- a round-robin interview with Strand, Wilson, Crouch, and Kilborn about writing DRACULAS
- deleted scenes
- two alternate endings
- four excerpts from the authors’ other works
- the short story “Serial” by Crouch and Kilborn
- the short story “Cub Scout Gore Feast” by Kilborn and Strand
- the short story “A Sound of Blunder” by Kilborn and Wilson
- author biographies
- comprehensive clickable bibliographies
- an exclusive, behind-the-scenes look at the writing of DRACULAS, delivered through a collection of over seven hundred emails between the writers as they were brainstorming and writing the book
About the Authors:
F. PAUL WILSON is an award-winning, NY Times bestselling novelist whose work spans horror, adventure, medical thrillers, science fiction, young adult, and virtually everything between. He is best known as the author of THE KEEP and creator of the urban mercenary Repairman Jack.
J.A. KONRATH has sold over three million books worldwide. He's known for the Jack Daniels Thriller series and the Konrath Dark Thriller collective.
JEFF STRAND is the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of such novels as PRESSURE, DWELLER, GRAVEROBBERS WANTED (NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY), BENJAMIN'S PARASITE, and THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE. His secret shame is SUCKERS, co-written with J.A. Konrath.
BLAKE CROUCH is the author of four thrillers, DESERT PLACES, LOCKED DOORS, ABANDON, and SNOWBOUND, all published by St. Martin’s Press. His short fiction
It's a simple game. A 99% chance for him to win ten thousand dollars. In the remote chance that he loses...well, he'll be strapped into a device that shatters his left arm.
The odds are very much in his favor. But this is only the first round.
As the game goes on, the prizes and penalties keep changing, along with his chances of winning. As the high stakes get out of control and Ethan desperately wants to quit, he'll learn that they've only offered him one means of escape: play the game to the very end...
A thrilling novel of suspense from the Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of PRESSURE and MY PRETTIES.
It doesn't seem like the perfect house, but screw it, it's good enough to rent for a year. Unfortunately for Boyd, Adeline, and their two young daughters, it's immediately clear that they chose the wrong place.
The nightmare begins with violent coughs and headaches. Food starts to rot almost as soon as they take it inside. A pet tarantula goes missing. Some family members begin to exhibit creepy behavior.
Then the ghosts arrive, and all Hell breaks loose...
In Jeff Menapace's "Second Chance," a high school wrestling prodigy’s future is cut short after a devastating injury on the mat. Desperate to win back his father’s approval, the boy hatches a plan involving his father’s love of slasher films. If the boy can become a real-life slasher right out of the movies, it just might be an opportunity to make his father proud again, no matter what the cost.
In Iain Rob Wright’s “The Reckoning,” the year is 2035 and people live inside their individual worlds. Amelie’s ‘pod’ is a marvel of tech-centric existence, taking care of her every need. But when a serial killer that the press have named ’The Reckoning’ comes calling for Amelie, her futuristic living space turns deadly.
In William Malmborg's "Billy's Blade," a budding serial killer bites off more than he can chew when he tries to stab Stacy Collins to death on the Prairie Path. A ruthless investigative journalist, Stacy goes on the offensive, goading the killer with unflattering articles, all in hopes of sparking a second encounter. Will Billy and Stacy meet again?
Jeff Strand’s “Twentieth Anniversary Screening” recounts the grisly events surrounding the terrible slasher flick THE ROOFER, remembered only because an obsessed fan tried to reenact the murders as they played out on the screen. When the same theater shows the film twenty years later, will the warnings that this is a really, really bad idea be justified?