Top positive review
Field Manual for Parents! The link between research and real life experience.
Reviewed in the United States on July 7, 2020
When you’re drowning, someone throws you a lifesaver so you can stay afloat. But if you’re drowning and someone gives you a life jacket that you can wear and actually enjoy the water, you’re able to change your perspective about the water. A lot of books feel like a lifesaver but you have to hang on for dear life. But The Connected Parent felt more like a life jacket. It changed my perspective on parenting children from hard places. It gave me actual tools that I use to make the climate of my family feel hopeful and not like we’re drowning. I especially connected with Dr. Purvis’ expert advice that intertwined so applicably with Lisa’s parenting experience and tools. I felt like it was the application I’ve been missing in other books. As I read, I could see how to utilize Lisa’s experiences in my own home. Lisa invites us into her family’s world and shows us she’s one of us and is the relatable link between the research and caregivers.
For specifics, the “scripts” guidelines helped our family begin to build more connections during calm times. This book helped shed light on some sleep issues we experience and gave me practical ways to build safe and healthy ways of helping my children sleep better according to their needs. For instance, for a child who prefers small, confined spaces, they pulled out a tent and it made the child feel relaxed and cozy and he loved it. This is one practical tool I would not have thought of in my sleep deprived world. In addition to the tool belt, there were many examples of infusing nurture into daily activities and how nurturing facilitates healing.
There are practical to-do lists as well as fresh ways of infusing our family with new methods of thinking to help heal the wounds. As a parent of four grown children, I’ve had to relearn how to parent my next four. What comes natural to me or how I was previously taught to parent isn’t what helps my children grow and heal. This book is vital in reframing that parenting mindset.
The “Key Takeaways” at the end of each chapter helped summarize all the notes I was taking. The “Try It Today” followed the takeaways and helped me process exactly how the tools could be integrated into my family. Make sure you’re armed with a journal as you read!
If you’re new to the world of parenting while building connection, this book gives a wonderful explanation of trauma in children and how it effects their developing brains. It explains attachment and gives both the new reader a strong foundation and the experienced trauma informed parent a strong recap and solidifies knowledge.
Instead of just surviving, I feel like this book gives parents real tools to thrive...both for us and our kids. It make sense of many behaviors and reactions that made NO sense to us. I will be reading this again and use it as a “field manual” that I will reference over and over.