Top critical review
3.0 out of 5 starsit had promise
Reviewed in the United States ๐บ๐ธ on March 31, 2020
The author ends the first chapter with a great line:
โBut since my wifeโs death, Iโd learned to not get upset by the things I couldnโt control. Alien invasion would fit into that category.โ
This was one of the better proofread novels on the Amazon โfreeโ list. However, I still noticed *many* missing commas/hyphens/contractions as well as run-ons. Much as I wanted to leave a good review, I could only make it through a quarter of the novel before giving up. Here are some examples that frequently jarred me out of the flow.
His main problem was what I will call the vague antecedent.
โข My clientsโ (of what business/service?) Until 18 percent mark, I had no idea what the main character did for a living or his religion and race until 24 percent.
โข To my office (where? Turns out to be a room upstairs)
โข When I saw it (with no previous mention of what it was)
โข We got there (with no mention of the destination)
โข We made it unscathed (with no mention of the destination)
โข He never told us Ray had a key ring but uses them later.
โข โitโll be tough to see cars at a complete stop on the road, though we may be able to do it at a really slow pace,โ How do you see slowly?
โข They hear where another survivor is, but the text never says theyโre driving there. In fact, it never actually mentions driving until they arrive.
โข a beam shines down from the sky, but it never says where the beam lands relative to their moving truck. He also doesnโt mention stopping the truck.
โข Whatโs your name?โ she asked (the main character who sheโs actually related to and met). โHis name is Carey. Heโs my neighborโs dog
โข โwe were standing at the entrance to the room,โ Four were mentioned, and we have no idea which he is referring to.
Close behind were logic lapses:
โข His wife didnโt ask him to save the world in her note, though thatโs how he summarized it. (I read it three times to be sure.)
โข If someone had already been there and left open the deposit box, why would they relock the outer door?
โข Disarm is a poor word choice for โthis device,โ if as the text says it was created to counter the tractor devices not blow up.
โข Why does he suddenly assume a hike across to Jersey when Ray brought a boat and they use it next scene?
โข How does one open a locked Trump hotel-room door with no power?
โข A quarter of the way through the book, he changes what he calls his wife to Janny.
โข People in the US use yards, not meters.
โข A dog at the driverโs feet would be sitting on the pedals.
โข He never got out of the truck to speak with Mary but gets in again in a few pages
โข A ventilation hose for a generator wonโt fit through a closed closet door.